My Girlfriend Is Becomming an Anti-Catholic


#1

Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for a year and a half now. She is Lutheran (ELCA). We have always gotten along religiously. It is a long distance relationship and this does occasionally complicate things, but none the less we have made it this far and have begun talking about marriage.

She has a very free attitude. If someone tells her "no" or "she can't" she has to prove them wrong. To tell you the truth it is what attracted me to her. Recently she has taken this attitude to religious matters. The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do (premarital sex, living together before marriage, have to go to church) None of these matters were a problem before.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid"). When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.


#2

your relationship is history. Many Lutherans are vehemently anti-Catholic, and think the Church is the "whore of Babylon" and that the Pope is the anti-Christ. How can you reason against such stupidity? To me, Christians who believe such things are equivalent to those who deny the existence of dinosaurs because they are not in the Bible. In a word, these people are ignorant. Many Lutherans have a deeply rooted need to justify the rebellion, and setting up the Church as the anti-Christ is the easiest way to do this. Also, I am pretty certain that Luther himself believed in the Catholic teaching on the Eucharist.


#3

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for a year and a half now. She is Lutheran (ELCA). We have always gotten along religiously. It is a long distance relationship and this does occasionally complicate things, but none the less we have made it this far and have begun talking about marriage.

She has a very free attitude. If someone tells her "no" or "she can't" she has to prove them wrong. To tell you the truth it is what attracted me to her. Recently she has taken this attitude to religious matters. The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do (premarital sex, living together before marriage, have to go to church) None of these matters were a problem before.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid"). When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

[/quote]

Let her read Luther's actual works, in what Luther believed. Let her discover for herself what Luther wrote....the Real Presence, perpetual virginity of Mary, etc.

And pray the rosary for her, or dedicate the rosary for her.


#4

Hey Dizzy,

Here are a few comments on your girlfriend's outlook concerning Catholics.

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do...

[/quote]

So is the Bible.

...(premarital sex, living together before marriage...)

This is the sin of fornication and is expressly denounced in Scripture. Historically it has been universally considered a sin according to Catholics, Protestants and Jews. In recent times certain Christians have tried to rationalize this sinful behavior, as people tend to do with the sins they want to indulge in (for example, saying things like, "Living together is not really the sin of fornication as long as it is a 'meaningful relationship'"). In such cases, people act as if they are their own popes, providing their own official interpretations of Scripture and living accordingly.

...have to go to church)

Jesus went to church, in that he regularly went to the Temple and synagogues. Likewise, he founded a Church. If Jesus went to church and founded a Church, then why should someone have an issue with Catholics saying that a Christian has to go to church?

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

If she has any specific criticisms (beyond what was stated in your OP), then, by all means, post them in this forum.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid").

I'm not sure what she meant by "belief", but if this concerns the Real Presence then it sounds like she is out-of-touch with her own Lutheran theology. Lutherans have always believed in the Real Presence in the Eucharist. Historically they have explained this as consubstantiation (as opposed to the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation). A number of modern day Lutheran theologians have elected to simply state that the Eucharist is the Real Presence of Christ, but think that people should avoid explaining the way in which this happens with any specific terminology (such as consubstantiation or transubstantiation) because it is a divine mystery.

The way I see it, although there are differences in how Catholics and Lutherans view the Eucharist, these differences are not all that great, and so I fail to see how your girlfriend could denounce Catholic belief as "stupid." After all, what makes Catholic belief down-right "stupid" and Lutheran belief acceptable? For example, whereas I do not believe in consubstantiation, I don't say that belief in consubstantiation is "stupid."

This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

Does she mention on her FB page that she has a Catholic boyfriend?

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

Well, I am from the U.S. and I have been to Europe, and I am still Catholic. Furthermore, how does she explain the fact that there are so many European Catholics? Where does she think Vatican City is??? And maybe you should remind her that Germany, the European birthplace of the Protestant Reformation, is also the birthplace of our current pope.

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

I will pray for her as well. I am sorry to hear that she refuses to listen to you or read any Catholic resources. Lack of communication in any relationship is always detrimental, and few relationships survive as a result.


#5

I can relate to a degree. My ex-girlfriend was agnostic though. While she never insulted me with calling the Eucharist "stupid" :eek: we would always get into quarrels over pro-life issues and gay "rights". It ended up making us both very unhappy and I made the choice to split with her and find someone else with similar faith and morals. I ended up meeting a nice Catholic girl ;) blows my ex away.

I'm not going to make a judgment unless you want me to but in the end you have to decide what is important to you and how you want your relationship to be. One thing is for sure...talk to her and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't care well then ask yourself if this is how someone who loves you would respond...


#6

[quote="EricFilmer, post:4, topic:231076"]

If she has any specific criticisms (beyond what was stated in your OP), then, by all means, post them in this forum.

[/quote]

Our specific religious differences are arising from her "eyes being more open". Basically when I try to make a point she says that the Bible can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and that I am closed minded. Until I spend significant time in another culture I won't understand how the world works.

Also to clarify I think that she is also leaving union with her church as well. She goes to service when "she isn't busy". She also, as stated thinks that religious control ends at the door or the church.

My best estimation of her new beliefs is that God works for us not the other way around.

She has begun to hurt me deeply as these opinions only began to develop a few months ago.

I fear that she is becoming just another privileged "spiritual but not religious" person who only follows beliefs that do not restrict personal pleasure.

When we met she was such a beautiful religious person. Now I feel as if all I can do is pray for her. I would feel bad to leave her, I feel that she needs my help.

I just wish that there was something I could do to save her.

Your prayers are appreciated.

PS. I know from my posts I sound like a teenager. We are both in our late 20's. It seems that my gift of articulation goes out the window when I am distraught.


#7

[quote="Dizzy17, post:6, topic:231076"]
*Also to clarify I think that she is also leaving union with her church as well.

She has begun to hurt me deeply as these opinions only began to develop a few months ago.

I fear that she is becoming just another privileged "spiritual but not religious" person who only follows beliefs that do not restrict personal pleasure.

When we met she was such a beautiful religious person. Now I feel as if all I can do is pray for her. I would feel bad to leave her, I feel that she needs my help. *

People change. She might be going through a phase, or seriously losing her faith. You should definitely pray for her. However, you should also seriously think about whether you see yourself with her in the long run. What you said about her always needeing to rebel and prove she can go against the rules sounds like a warning to me. That is not mature behaviour. What would happen in marriage? Marriage is full of 'rules' and restrictions. People must make sacrifices. Would she be willing to sacrifice her ego for her family? These are all big questions. You can engage with her on the questions of faith and dogma, plenty of good apologetics material out there. What worries me more is that she is behaving in a way that is hurtful for you. Anti-Catholic material on facebook? That is very disrespectful given your religion. I doubt that she is not aware of that fact.

[/quote]


#8

Its clear that something is new in the air. Could be the relationship has reached a point where your girlfriend is considering the long game and marriage if not consciencely then sub. Now how religion will be handled is much more important.

Its easy to understand how the Church can be seen as authoritarian by an outsider; of course the Church doesnt help when it has spent centuries telling the fathfull what to do without explaining clearly the deeper truths. It even was against the first translation of the bible from latin to english as it would be better not to let ordinary Joe read it in case he gets led astray.

But you need to explain that there is no compulsion in the church and that when an individual is prepared to explore the teaching of the church in real depth they can gain an understanding of why the church tries to discourage certain behaviour or encourage others.
Quite often in many of the contiversal issues the true Catholic position is not as clear cut as people think. I seen the answer to a post in the apologist section in this forum that was actually not correct; i knew this because i had recently been reading a very long Vatican letter to bishops to explain the Churches position on that topic. Of course the Church can make temporary errors but never about the real central beliefs only in the implimentation in complicated areas.

You must bring the discussion back to the core issues and of course be honest it is "Stupid" to believe in the Eucharist as taught by Catholics. But its just as Stupid to believe in God, or Genies or a myriad of other things that in the end can only be experienced in faith. Its an agree to disagree position. And dont be fooled that God can be explained by logic ; he can't neither can he be disproved.

Explore with her the reasons for her sudden antagonism and be patient and listen. Maybe its not the Church she is afraid of but you, maybe she is afraid of loosing her right to question if she gets closer to catholism. I dont know im just playing devils advocate.

When someone grows deeper in their faith ; they dont need the Church to tell them what to do; they will want to do it.

I'm rambling now but i hope ive given you some ideas to chew over.

Be patient, be kind, be understanding and in the end the true issue will emerge and hopefully together you can work through it.


#9

Dizzy17,

In terms of being able to marry this woman, my opinion is that it is a dead end. If she is this way before you are married, she will be this way after you are married.

From what you have said, it sounds like the barrier between you and her is a deep-rooted dislike on her part. Just because you saw it for the first time only a few months ago does not mean it was not there all along (when the question of marriage comes up, many other things - often unexpected - also come up).

I caution you against continuing your relationship with this girl. I think the best thing you can do for her is pray. It would not be good to marry her.


#10

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for a year and a half now. She is Lutheran (ELCA). We have always gotten along religiously. It is a long distance relationship and this does occasionally complicate things, but none the less we have made it this far and have begun talking about marriage.

She has a very free attitude. If someone tells her "no" or "she can't" she has to prove them wrong. To tell you the truth it is what attracted me to her. Recently she has taken this attitude to religious matters. The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do (premarital sex, living together before marriage, have to go to church) None of these matters were a problem before.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid"). When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

[/quote]

Dear brother.
Greetings from Europe from a former Lutheran. We are quite many..hehe.. you can tell that to your girl friend. I havent in all the world seen a Church which is in more trouble than the Lutheran church in Europe. It has become very unbiblical.. I think even Luther would turn in his grave.. I used to look up to him by the way. I still think he wrote some really awesome pieces.. but in some respects he was simply out of line and had no wisdom..

I never met a Lutheran who thought the Pope was the anti-christ (although Luther at his time made such carricatures about the Pope.. but that pope also did very questionable things).
It sounds more like your girl friend has become entangled in some liberal thinking. The problem with that is that those who hold these ideas ideed often patronize the ones who hold more seriously to the Bible etc.
If she is willing to enter into dialog then the relationship can be saved. If she will not listen and only bash your beliefs then she is not a mature person to be with and you have to consider how to deal with that fact.

I wish you calm and clarity.


#11

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

[/quote]

Yep...right place, for sure.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

[FONT=Arial][size=2]
Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid").[/size][/FONT]

You have a real problem here. I hate to say it but you might need to drive home just how important this is to you by telling her straight off that until and unless this is resolved, all talk of marriage is off the table because you will not compromise on faith and you can best believe that she'll fight you tooth and nail about raising any children in the faith.

As to the Eucharist, please feel free to copy and past this article from my blog to send to her since she refuses to read your sources. The Eucharist IS Scriptural

When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

Frankly, I'd post a Catholic refutation to your FB page and let her deal with it. Honestly...I think it's over between you two. You don't want to be unequally yoked with someone who buys into all that stuff.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

That's hogwash... Europe has abandoned its Christian roots, so they're no example.

Keep in mind that no matter what you feel for her right now, God has the right person set aside for you.
Pax tecum,


#12

[quote="pablope, post:3, topic:231076"]
Let her read Luther's actual works, in what Luther believed. Let her discover for herself what Luther wrote....the Real Presence, perpetual virginity of Mary, etc.

And pray the rosary for her, or dedicate the rosary for her.

[/quote]

I would second that.

Also, I would say that your faith is the most important part of the relationship and if you aren't on the same page then move on.... It sounds like she is moving on.


#13

If she blieves the Bible can be interperted many different way than how come she can't accept your way or the Catholic way? She is just saying that as an excuse b/c she can't back up anything she is saying with the Bible!

When I was under my protestant spell I disagreed with my wife on several things but neither of us once said the other's beliefs were "stupid" or disrespected the other in any way. As for the FB thing that is another obvious sign of disrespecting your faith. It sounds like she has no respect for your beliefs and/or you and that is a major problem. As hard as it may be you may want to seriously consider moving on and away from this person as I see no way to have a balanced marriage in this setting.

Sorry she is being so lame. Peace.


#14

[quote="Dizzy17, post:6, topic:231076"]
Our specific religious differences are arising from her "eyes being more open".

[/quote]

A person who posts anti-Catholic web links on her FB page while at the same time refusing to read the Catholic material you suggested can hardly be realistically seen as someone with "eyes being more open."

Basically when I try to make a point she says that the Bible can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and that I am closed minded.

Obviously the Bible can be interpreted in a variety of ways for the simple fact that it is. But that doesn't mean the Bible ought to be interpreted in a variety of ways. Ask your girlfriend what happens when there are contradictory interpretations? Your posts did not deal in pro-life issues, but I would like to use a pro-life example for the sake of illustration. Some Christians see abortion as a violation against the commandment not to kill, and other Christians do not see abortion as murder. Let us say that a couple conceives a child and the father wants an abortion, stating that his interpretation of the Bible allows for this, while the mother does not want an abortion and claims that her interpretation of the Bible backs up her belief. Obviously, these positions cannot both be true because in the eyes of God abortion is either a sin or it isn't. (And I am speaking objectively here; as a Catholic I believe that abortion is a mortal sin).

So maybe you should present this scenario to your girlfriend and ask her to justify her "the Bible can be interpreted in different ways" position in light of it. Whose interpretation is right and whose is wrong? If she picks one over the other then that disrupts her position that it is ok for there to be different interpretations of Scripture. After all, even though the father and mother have different interpretations, your girlfriend would be concluding that (based on her opinion) one of the interpretations is correct and the other is wrong. And in this case it would not be ok to have an incorrect interpretation (morally speaking). For example, if she thinks the father's interpretation is correct then she has to conclude that it would be wrong for the mother to call abortion a sinfully grave act of murder. And if your girlfriend thinks the mother's interpretation is correct then she has to conclude that it would be wrong for the father to believe that abortion is a morally permissible procedure rather than murder.

If your girlfriend says that both interpretations are correct then tell her to explain how the specific fetus in the example is a human capable of being murdered and at the same time not a human capable of being murdered.

Until I spend significant time in another culture I won't understand how the world works.

I'm willing to bet that she does not really think that spending time in another culture is the key to understanding how the world works. Rather, agreeing with what she says is the way to understanding how the world works. After all, based on what you stated here and in your OP, she says that people can have different interpretations of the Bible but people whose interpretations are different from her own are "close-mined" and "stupid." It is funny to see such a position taken by someone like her who claims to be so open-minded.

And considering the fact that Catholicism is not only a religion but a culture, and this culture represents one billion people, exactly how much time has she spent with the Catholic culture? Seeing as she refuses to follow your suggestions about reading Catholic material, I'm guessing that she hasn't spent any time truly learning about Catholic culture. So she claims that she has a proper understanding about how the world works despite the fact that she ignores the religion and culture of a full sixth of the planet's entire human population.

Also to clarify I think that she is also leaving union with her church as well.

She certainly wouldn't be the first Protestant to do this. Quite a few denominations out there resulted from this same type of mentality.

She goes to service when "she isn't busy".

We should all be busy about spirituality and worshiping as a community in the spirit of fraternal fellowship.

She also, as stated thinks that religious control ends at the door or the church.

I'm not sure what she means by "religious control". Does this mean a church's teachings on morality? So does "Do not steal" simply mean, "Don't steal while inside the church building, but do what you want after you leave"? It seems that your girlfriend does not consider the full ramifications of her beliefs.

My best estimation of her new beliefs is that God works for us not the other way around.

Without knowing a whole lot about her, I think she seems to be someone who is particularly chained to the sin of pride. This is the capital sin that immediately comes to mind in your various descriptions of her outlook on Christianity and her belittling of your personal beliefs. As I stated in my last post, she acts as if she has elected herself pope.


#15

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for a year and a half now. She is Lutheran (ELCA). We have always gotten along religiously. It is a long distance relationship and this does occasionally complicate things, but none the less we have made it this far and have begun talking about marriage.

She has a very free attitude. If someone tells her "no" or "she can't" she has to prove them wrong. To tell you the truth it is what attracted me to her. Recently she has taken this attitude to religious matters. The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do (premarital sex, living together before marriage, have to go to church) None of these matters were a problem before.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid"). When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

[/quote]

Oh, Dizzy. I'm so sorry to hear that. It is a shame, for sure. I was married to an anti-Catholic...WAS. I obtained an annulment and moved on. Actually, he was Catholic when we got married. He turned against the church a couple years after. The thought of having children with this man and trying to raise them in the Catholic faith was terrifying! Make sure you think of your future children before deciding to stay with her.


#16

Europe is an example of people with their eyes open?! Is she for real? A large portion of Europe has become atheistic, socialistic, and fallen to relativism. Relativism is easily refuted, but people believe it because it is the only way they can justify their sinful, extended-adolescent lifestyle (many of them act like teenagers until they're at least in their mid-30's).

I think it is very immature for her to call your beliefs stupid. She sounds very young emotionally and definitely nowhere near ready for marriage if she can't respect another person's beliefs, especially the beliefs of a prospective husband. Posting anti-Catholic sites on Facebook also sounds like something a teenager would do. It is very disrespectful to her Catholic boyfriend and I'm sure some of her friends are possibly Catholic as well. If she owned a religious Facebook Page (like a company page), that would be different, but posting it on her page using her name is just ... wrong.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave. Of course you feel like you want to help her, but opening her heart and mind is the work of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes God uses us to help others, sometimes the people you want to help simply aren't ready. I would advise you to pray the rosary for her (add her to your daily prayers), and if you can't work things out, move on and find a young lady who shares your beliefs.

If she is interested in learning about religion, I suggest she learns about Church history. If everyone can interpret their scriptures their own way, then more denominations happen. Each person interprets scripture and then finds the denomination that tells them what they "know" to be true. And if they can't find one, they make their own church. However, logic tells us that two opposite statements cannot both be true at the same time, so there are some denominations that are more correct than others. I also suggest she studies Martin Luther and what he believed.

Also, if everyone can interpret scripture on his/her own, then how can you be sure who is right? People speak of "burning in the bosom" or some similar warm, fuzzy feeling... but the Holy Spirit produces the same feeling for opposite beliefs in different people. Which makes a person wonder, how can you tell if it's really the Holy Spirit leading you, and how can you tell if it's some other force (yourself/own feelings, demons/Satan, etc.)?

This is why we need to follow a Church that has been around for two millennia, not a church that has been around for 500 years or less. A Church that has the writings and the pedigree to back up its doctrines, teachings, and Bible interpretations. If you don't agree with the Catholic Church, your other option is Eastern Orthodox (they, too, have been around for almost 2,000 years). But I guess some of the Eastern Orthodox teachings are "too Catholic" for some people... but there is a reason for that. :thumbsup:


#17

I am in agreement with all that have already posted. If your significant other doesn't respect your beliefs I don't see how the relationship can endure. To discuss matters of faith is one thing, but she clearly seems to be attacking what you stand for. That is certainly not the way to open a dialogue. I have a friend in a long distance relationship that is of a different faith. They have their disagreements like any couple, but never does one seek to attack the other one's beliefs.

I feel for you when you say that you love her. Part of me wants to tell you to try to work it out. By all means, continue to try and discuss your feelings with her. But, if she continues the way she has acted thus far I don't see how your relationship can progress.

.murmur.


#18

I have to agree with the others regarding the status of this relationship. And really, as much as you might think this is about religion ,I just don't think it is. This is a matter of respect and she doesn't seem to have any. To clarify-- "belief in the Eucharist is stupid" + you believe in the Eucharist= you're stupid. To be in a relationship with someone who is radically opposed to what you hold sacred is just asking for trouble.

I would have a serious talk with her and I would try not to make it about the difference in beliefs. Rather, I would talk about respect and the ways in which she has shown you disrespect. Walk away if she cannot give it to you. Believe me, our Father in heaven does NOT want you to live without respect. Should you decide to break up with her, rather than live with disrespect, you may just be giving her a wake up call she desperately needs.


#19

[quote="Dizzy17, post:1, topic:231076"]
Hello,

I have been reading this site for years. This is my first post. I hope it is in the right place.

I have been dating a wonderful girl for a year and a half now. She is Lutheran (ELCA). We have always gotten along religiously. It is a long distance relationship and this does occasionally complicate things, but none the less we have made it this far and have begun talking about marriage.

She has a very free attitude. If someone tells her "no" or "she can't" she has to prove them wrong. To tell you the truth it is what attracted me to her. Recently she has taken this attitude to religious matters. The way she sees it The Catholic Church is full of things you have to and can't do (premarital sex, living together before marriage, have to go to church) None of these matters were a problem before.

Now she has begun reading Anti-Catholic propaganda.

Recently we had a talk about religion that ended in a fight (never raising voices but I walked out when she called belief in The Eucharist "stupid"). When we brought it up again we had a calm discussion. This morning she posted a link to an Anti-Catholic site on her facebook page.

She claims that because I have never been to Europe my eyes are not opened to the truth (her parents were wealthy mine were not, spending summers overseas was not an option).

I love this woman with all of my heart, but it seems that she is becoming a bigot against my faith. She refuses to listen to me or read any Catholic resources. I pray for an answer every day. Please help.

[/quote]

Hi Dizzy and glad you finally posted. This is a great forum (moral theology).

So many things have already been said. I will say only a couple of things.

1) I was raised Missouri Synod Lutheran and changed to ELCA when I was married. Her statements are very far from Lutheran teaching and she has either not become familiar with Luther's Small Catechism or she is rejecting it altogether.

2) After joining the Catholic Church, I have realized the fullness and beauty and I like the fact that the teaching is clear and unchanging. Just like children want their parents to give them boundaries, I need to be taught what is appropriate and inappropriate. I am always a student! Freedom is not exactly freedom to do whatever I want just because I can. Freedom is to be molded to Christ himself, freedom to be wonderful and amazing and perfect. It is not wise to put molasses in my car engine just because I can. I should use motor oil, according to the owner's manual. That is a lesson from Father Ben Cameron from the Fathers of Mercy.

3) Marriage is a TOTAL giving of self to the other. It does not sound like she is the kind of person to do that and religion/faith is only one example of her inability to self sacrifice.

I will try to say a rosary for you tonight.


#20

Sad to say but you are in a tough spot.

I'm not real sure this is about religion, so much as it is about your relationship.

The most obvious example is her posting of an anti-Catholic link on her FB page. This is a direct attack on you and what you hold dear. This is not someone honestly searching for answers or the truth. She's trying to get you to dump her so she doesn't have to dump you.

Would you want this woman to be in charge of your children's religious upbringing? It's going to hurt to leave her but there's a lot of truth in the expression there's a lot of fish in the sea. Chalk this up to a near miss. You would have been miserable in your marriage. The Holy Spirit is protecting you! :(


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