Hello all, I’ll hop right into the story, but I seriously need some advice.
My girlfriend felt like she had a calling to religious life four years ago. When I met her, this was still the case, but we quickly became best friends; and early on in our relationship, her discernment was brought up. I gently challenged her convictions to religious life because I felt like her calling wasn’t from God.
She had so much confusion, doubt, and worry about her discernment. She even had desires for marriage. To make a long story short, we talked about her discernment at length for 5 months.
Somewhere in month 4 of talking about discernment, she said that she didn’t even think anyone would marry her if she was to discern marriage. I confessed that I would gladly marry her because despite only knowing her for 4 months. I was closer to her than anyone else in my life and she inspired a lot of joy and spiritual growth in me.
Two almost three months ago, she decided she would take a leap of faith and become my girlfriend. She felt like there was a lot to pursue our relationship and felt a calling to marriage over religious life. Everything was going great until a month ago we wen’t on a retreat and she started talking about how she had a desire for religious life. She told me that she wanted to join a convent for 6 months when she was older.
I was shattered, because I had no idea that her desire had shifted completely. She was completely unaware that I would even be upset with this knowledge because I had known her desire for marriage shifts at times. This caused a week where we were both miserable about our relationship; I thought it was going to be over.
Fast forward to present, and we moved past the tear in our relationship, kinda. Yesterday we talked about her discernment and she is completely confused about her discernment. She isn’t sure if she wants me or religious life. We both agree that if we had known that all of this was to come that we shouldn’t have started dating; however, we both regret nothing.
I just feel like she needs to choose me or religious life and not leave me hanging. I’m pretty upset about this whole situation.
I really have no idea what to do. We have so much promise in our relationship, but she has this constant confusion about discernment. It’s probably spiritual warfare, but she won’t denounce it.
Please give me some advice.
PS: this is the incredbily short version of our story and I can alborate more, but this has already taken me 25 minutes and a rewrite to complete.