Just a few weeks ago ended a 2 month long marital drama between me and my husband. Many things came up during that period, a lot of hurt and resentment on his side and it will take us both time to heal and move on together. One of the things that he told me at the beginning of it all was that he hates my faith. The same conversation happened again yesterday and I am still recovering from it. The things he told me on both occasions were quite shocking and extremely hurtful. I never knew he felt that way. He deceived me for years.
My husband was raised Protestant but does not have faith. He was always very respectful of my beliefs and extremely supportive. I always felt comfortable talking about it: what happened at church/prayer group, I discussed books, shared the difficulties and joyous moments of my deeper conversion to Christ over the last few years. All the religion talk was always personal - my experiences and thoughts, and not preachy with the aim to convert him. He sometimes asked me questions about the church and seemed genuinely interested in discussing things with me. There were never any issues as far as he was concerned, he was proud of me for wanting to deepen my spiritual life and was always supportive of everything I did. He even agreed to go to mass with me and the kids when I asked him to. I have always been very grateful to him for all of these things and felt very blessed to have such a wonderful, supportive husband.
And now he tells me he hates my faith, that he wishes that **** would just dissappear from his life. He told me he is embarrassed when I tell people I go to church, and that he feels sorry for me. He told me that he feels so ashamed for me when we go to mass together, because of the idiocy I believe in. He said many other awful things. I feel like I need to crawl into a cave a lick my wounds. I can’t even express how much this hurts.
I have no idea what to do now, how to behave, how to proceed. How do I love the husband who hates what is most holy to me? How do I cope?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this, especially if you are married to an atheist. Any advice on what to do and what not to do is most welcome, and your prayers are much appreciated.