My husband is depressed over a job loss; can you help?


#1

My husband has always believed in our lord. He is one of the most giving and kindest men I know. When he got his job a year ago he truly felt blessed that the good Lord had given him a job that he could do and was so happy to have been given the opportunity. After getting into the position one of the employees was given a large pay cut. That became his problem. He didn’t give him the pay cut the administration did. Every day he heard from this man that he was the reason he couldn’t pay his bills. As time went on this man found whatever he could to blame on Doug. It became overwhelming to him. He went to his doctor and got on antidepressants and anitanxiety medications to get through the day. Upper management was aware of the issues and wouldn’t take action. This disgruntal employee was emailing Doug’s boss with a daily list of fabricated wrongs. Mind you my husband was a great boss. He worked all the holidays for his employees so they could enjoy them. He took on extra jobs of theirs so that they would not be overwhelmed. With that said this man took whatever he did and turned in emails that made Doug look unintelligent and down right stupid.
He has left as he couldn’t get anyone to listen and since got a hold of the 30 pages of emails. It’s rough to look at them and see that he was rail-roaded into a corner that could have been settled if his boss would have just come to him with them. They found him guilty without even giving him a chance to explain and I think that is what is making him so angry. I have prayed about it before he left and I know in my heart its was the right thing to do. I still pray for him and the situation. He however, can’t figure out how God lead him into this trap. Why he lead him this way and let this happen to him. I can’t make him go to church. He’s not interested in his bible anymore and I just feel he is going down the spiritual tube. What do we do for him? Is this just time to heal, I have never seen him like this, of course he’s never had to go through something like this. He’s afraid of not being able to perform in the next job. He’s never had a issue before and I am sure he won’t but he’s lost his confidence. I think the emails are the cause of his depression. I wished we never would have read them.


#2

Dear friend,

The Lord has allowed your husband to share in the kind of rejection He experienced for us. He knows what it feels like to be resented and lied about. He identified with us completely and is with us in the crosses we carry. To the extent that we identify with Him, we will overcome such pain by our love for Him.

It is natural enough to feel down by being betrayed and lied about. When we are the ones being accused, we are tempted to question ourselves because it is difficult to be objective about ourselves. It is also difficult to believe our friends and loved ones who defend us because we know that they have a hard time being objective about us. So I can see how your husband is feeling so down. The good news is that the lie is eventually seen for what it is. I know this by experience. Only the truth lasts because only the truth reflects reality. If your husband was hired to be a boss, he obviously had to have something on the ball. The abilities he had have not disappeared simply because they have been lied about. I don’t know your husband; so what I am saying is totally objective. The moment he accepts the possibility that those accusations are truly false, he will begin to see light at the end of the tunnel. I will be praying for him and I ask those who read this, to pray for him as well.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.


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