My husbands extramarital affair


#1

Please pray for my husband who is in the mist of an extramarital affair and wants a divorce. We have been married for 26 years. We as a couple never believed in divorce and I have been praying for approximately two years to save our marriage, nothing seems to be working. I thought we had a good marriage before all this started. I don’t know what to do anymore. Our trial for the divorce is November 18, 2005. We have not been able to communicate for almost a year now.


#2

We are praying for a miracle for you and your husband. With God, nothing is impossible.


#3

Wow. I will pray for you and your husband. I am sorry for your pain and this trial you are bearing.


#4

Welcome to the board, Loris, even though your first post has to be a hard one for you.

Are both of you Catholic? Has your husband talked this over with your priest and does he understand the consequences to himself, to you and your family? Or has he turned a blind eye to everything except his supposed “new love”?

I want to believe your marriage can be saved and by God’s grace it can be. But, don’t let that keep you from getting what is rightfully yours and your children’s, if you have any. Get a good lawyer, if you haven’t already, to protect your rights and to keep you from having future trouble with your finances.

I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family. You will be in my prayers.


#5

Loris, I am sorry to miss saying this on my last post, but I had a flashback to a similar situation and my heart really goes out to you.

Anyway, Della is right. Make sure you do not compound your situation by failing to protect yourself financially. I know it seems to pale in comparison to the rest of the problems, but later on down teh line you will be glad you did.

My dad walked out on my mom after 40 years. No one even knew there was another woman until he called me and told me he was heading out and that I better go check on my mom. I was the lucky one that got to break the news to her.

The next day my brother and I had lined up and attorney, doctor and a counsellor. My mom was not interested at all in the lawyer, at that time. Later on she realized that without the some practical planning at the time, her life would have been far worse.


#6

Oh God bless you. I feel so sorry for you, it’s so incredibly painful. I will pray for you and hope things work out for the best.


#7

Thank you! In response I do have a good lawyer and have had one since the beginning. I am thankful this happened in Ohio where there is spousal support. Financially I will be ok.

It’s just the rest of it. I am so heart broken sometimes I wonder if I am ever going to recover. I continueously pray for recovery and for my husband and the other woman. By the way we are all catholic, we were all friends and she was a coworker of my husbands, we live in the same neighborhood, attend the same church and had all the same friends. Her marriage of 18 years is already over, their divorce was final last November.


#8

This is really testing my faith. I am trying so hard to believe that God is going to save our mariage. I have prayed, fasted, prayed and fasted. I have offered every thing in my life, especially my pain. I say The Divine Mercy everyday at 3:00pm. I go to Perputual Eucharistic Adoration, which I was a member prior to this. I need help…


#9

Oh my darling sister in Christ, I am so sorry. What a trial for you. You are in my prayers and your husband is in my prayers. I want to just scream in anger and frustration when I read or hear about these kind of things happening to women or men - and it is such a test for ME to remember that nothing, but NOTHING, happens in Our Lord’s universe by mistake and that from great evil can come great good. But the human part of me, my fallen nature, wants to offer to just pop your husband one right in the nose…not very Christian of me, I know. I’m sorry. I will pray for you both tonight during Adoration.


#10

[quote=Loris]This is really testing my faith. I am trying so hard to believe that God is going to save our mariage.
[/quote]

He might not. He needs your husband’s cooperation in order to do that. I sincerely hope that he (your husband) wakes up before it is too late. I will pray for you both.

Malia


#11

The Greater your suffering is on Earth, the Greater your Joy will be in Heaven. Or something like that;) I tell that one to my Mom and to any other experiencing a tough time/day/experience/life.

God be with you in this hard time.


#12

I’m so sorry to hear of your pain.Lately I’ve been trying to cope with my own separation. My husband left 2 months ago. I pray most of the day for him to return to me. I wish there was something I could do or say to take the pain away. I know how you feel.


#13

Again, I want to thank you all, my pain is so great but so must be my husbands. Please pray for us, I wil also be praying for you all.


#14

If you’ve browsed some of the other topics, you’ll see a lot of debate and sometimes bickering or even arguing. But something else you will see, and I’ve already seen in this thread, is that those of us who can’t seem to agree in other topics find themselves in unanimous agreement in a thread such as this. When tragedy falls upon our brothers and sisters, as it has upon you and your husband, we come together sincerely as the family we are and offer sincerest sympathies and prayers.

I’m deeply saddened to hear of your situation, but it warms my heart to see our christian family unite in prayers for you. And I’m also touched by your concern for your husband in this time where no one could blame you for expressing contempt. It shows you have a truly kind heart.

May the Lord convict your husband and lead him towards the right path, and may He comfort you with His love in this time of your deep grief.

Blessings and prayers upon you.


#15

[quote=Loris]This is really testing my faith. I am trying so hard to believe that God is going to save our mariage. I have prayed, fasted, prayed and fasted. I have offered every thing in my life, especially my pain. I say The Divine Mercy everyday at 3:00pm. I go to Perputual Eucharistic Adoration, which I was a member prior to this. I need help…
[/quote]

I don’t know if this will help any, but please remember that God works in His ways, not ours. It may be necessary for the divorce to actually go through before your husband finds his way back home.

Because you are praying so fervently and willing to forgive him as well as continue to love him and honor your vows, I must believe God is hearing your pleas. There are several stories of couples who divorce but years later remarry. Perhaps this may be your story as well.

I guess I make note of this so that you don’t feel absolutely crushed or ignored should the divorce go through, as if your prayers went unheard. Surely that is not the case, just that your prayers are being answered in His way not yours.

Continue to live your life for Christ and patiently await the outcome of this journey God has your husband on.

In the meantime you are certainly in my prayers.

Peace.

YYM


#16

[quote=Loris]This is really testing my faith. I am trying so hard to believe that God is going to save our mariage. I have prayed, fasted, prayed and fasted. I have offered every thing in my life, especially my pain. I say The Divine Mercy everyday at 3:00pm. I go to Perputual Eucharistic Adoration, which I was a member prior to this. I need help…
[/quote]

Keep praying. I know God is answering your prayers. Everyday your husband must see signs that remind him of his commitment to you.

If your husband keeps to this path it is because he is rejecting God, not because God is rejecting you. I pray that God will keep prompting him.


#17

[quote=Loris]This is really testing my faith. I am trying so hard to believe that God is going to save our mariage. I have prayed, fasted, prayed and fasted. I have offered every thing in my life, especially my pain. I say The Divine Mercy everyday at 3:00pm. I go to Perputual Eucharistic Adoration, which I was a member prior to this. I need help…
[/quote]

This happened to my Mum 5 years ago. Dad left her under similar circumstances after 32 years. The thing is, she had been saying a novena for their relationship. We came to understand what God was telling us a family. It’s not always easy, but what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!


#18

There was a point in time when this was acceptable-for men to have a mistress. Its called the double standard. The truth sets you free, so be glad that in this area our society has matured to the point where this is no longer acceptable.

This happened to me when I was 30 and had three children. I am now 58. My children are responsible adults, are all Catholic and I can be proud of their achievements. I am living a chaste life according to my station in life, and you know, I never knew such joy at any time during my life. My children learned to accept their father’s behavior, but did not condone it. My ex passed away six years ago from a viral infection. I cried for weeks-still loving him as I did. But God will fill those wounds with his Love.

My prayers are with you during this terrible and painful time. Put yourself in God’s hands, through His Son, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. I continue to say that frequently, please try this and watch how your thoughts change, how calm you become, and how joy will enter your life in very unexpected ways!


#19

Hi everyone, again, I will ask for your prayers for my husband, I thank you.


#20

I will definitely pray for you and your husband. Your post hits really close to home as I have been divorced for 1 1/2 yrs. My husband left when I was 6mos pregnant w/ our third child, to be w/ a woman that he works with. I have had a really hard time dealing w/ this on so many fronts.

Though you have been married a lot longer than I was, I feel your pain and hope that by turning to God you can find comfort in what ever the out come may be.


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