[quote="Jea9, post:30, topic:213326"]
I still don't buy that a person does not see those lines clearly. Granted, the flirting the OP notices could be in her head, or could be the woman's personality, but it's still not appropriate. If he has said no more than once, which is what it sounds like to me based on what the OP says, and she continues to ask him, how can that be just oblivious?
That's not what I'm reading. I'm reading that the Friend asked the Husband more than once. The Husband has refused to go. End.:)
Nothing says that there was one or 10 invitations after the first, 'no, I'm not coming'.
And yes, I think she could still be oblivious if Husband said, 'no, I'm not coming. I've got to give the dog a bath' rather than, 'No, I'm not coming. Wife said you could come over here, if you want', or 'Wife said I can't come, and since I'm married to her, that's the end of that'.
Maybe I tend to be oblivious. I much prefer plain old English. Say it, and say it straight.:rolleyes:
If he were a (dirty word), he would even have said something like 'I can't come today. Wife is acting up and doesn't want me to come over'... but at least that would be effective and plain.
Oblivious? There are so many who are, and for a variety of reasons. It depends on their perspective. For me, I am usually 'one of the guys' wherever I go. Not for any other reason than most of my cousins are male, most of my friends were always male, the female friends I had were all tom-boys, I have always been in male dominated professions, I am closer to my father, and I have never looked at males as 'other creatures', they were people, just like females.
Whenever there is a crowd, you can expect me to be in the testosterone laden area. It's just where I fit in.
As an adult, I had to MAKE myself participate with more female filled activities and groups. Because of that, and discussions like this, I learned things that I would never have picked up just living around others. I learned I should be threarened by others and such :eek: And I learned that what I saw as totally innocent was not always seen that way. Yes, there was some yelling involved in my education. :blush:
But there are people out there who are oblivioius.
In my 'education', I also learned that some things that I did with my cousins were seen as 'inappropriate', even though me, nor my cousin, thought anything wrong. Heck, I still don't, but I see that others see it that way.
Oh, and I had a group of ladies really lambast a friend of mine for, get this, telling the group how good her husband was. 'You don't tell people that unless you want someone to try to sleep with your husband'. I still find this thinking totally ridiculous, but I'm now aware that someone out there thinks that way, and I know I don't have to think it makes a hill of sense.