The title says it all truthfully. My poor husband is absolutely shocked and devastated. He’s absolutely lost as to what to do.
If anyone feels like reading my previous posts from the last 3 years you can get an idea of what we are dealing with.
Anyway. So this is what happened. I gladly welcome any prayers or feedback as to what you feel we should do.
Basically this woman really isn’t mentally stable. She brings so much drama and negativity, bitterness, resentment, and hate toward the family. She’s done many many things and has said things that really should have made my husband and I cut her off a while ago. However we figured since she is my father in law’s wife (his 3rd marriage) we wanted to try and keep peace with her.
A few weeks ago( 3 roughly maybe more) she kept on texting me and messaging me on facebook. I have a 3 month old son who she wanted to see continuously. She would also ask me over and over again, on facebook, through texting, call me on the phone, and in person would ask when my husband and I were going out again so she could come down and watch our son. If she called me and I was out she would grill me about where my son was. She would also offer all kinds of unsolicited advice about what I should and shouldn’t be doing with him.
I explained to her that he has more than one grandparent and that I can’t always go out all the time and that I am trying to spend as much time with him as I can before I go back to work. I really shouldn’t have had to justify myself to her but I just wanted her to shut up. She was really irritating me and making me mad. I felt like she was trying to mother me and I honestly don’t need that. I already have a Mother.
Anyway she got mad at me and said she never gets to see my son and it feels like she’s bothering me; etc etc. I told her that she had said she was coming by the day before and that I waited for her and it was her own problem that she didn’t show up.
A couple of days later my husband had the idea that we should bring our son up to their house so she’d be happy.
Apparently she had got into some sort of fight with my father in law so she was hiding in the room painting. She said some very rude things to my father in law and my husband and barely acknowledged my son at all. So myself and my husband and FIL left the living room and went out to the kitchen. Then she whined and complained about it. We went back out there and she still kept in the empty bedroom painting it and muttering things like “Not allowed to see the baby so I have to keep my distance, etc” Then all of a sudden she changes her mind and then decides that she wants to take my son to a reptile exhibit next year when he’s walking. My husband politely told her that he would rather do that himself because it’s something he’s actually been looking forward to doing. She then stormed off pouting about how she wasn’t allowed to do anything. We tried to continue the visit with my father in law but she kept interrupting every chance we got and went on like an idiot in the bedroom saying rude things and laughing about it after.
On the way home my husband decided that he had enough. He felt that this is a contiuous circle with her and that it’s never going to end. We’ve done everything to show as much love and kindness as we can to her but she always finds a way to burn us. He also decided that she’s too toxic and unstable and that we can’t have someone like that around our son.
The every next day, first thing in the morning, I just fed my son and logged into facebook to check to see if my brother had got a hold of me. I wasn’t even on there 5 minutes and this woman started on me. I posted a picture of a quote that I found which was kind of negative but it was clever. Well this was the 2nd time in a couple of days that she assumed that it was about her. I tried ignoring her and then she started texting my phone. I finally told her that this was getting absolutely ridiculous and my husband and I were getting tired of these games of hers. She then claims she was only asking me a question. I explain again that I’m not dumb and that we knew that she was trying to stir the pot as she usually does. I explained that this doesn’t work it never has and that it never will so we were saying goodbye. So of course she continuously texts me and makes references to me being holy and whatnot and asking me if she can have Jesus’ phone number so we can sort this out. That really set me off. So I went to my cell phone provider and changed my phone number. My husband deleted and blocked her from facebook as did I.
I phoned my father in law at lunch and told him what I had to do and that I really didn’t apprechiate being hounded like that. He asked about my husband and I told him the truth but explained that he should call him and talk to him later that evening. He explained that we got to do what we have to do. He said don’t worry about the baby that he wouldn’t be jealous if he didn’t see him. I explained that he was welcome here anytime just not her. He said that was too difficult.
Later that evening he spoke to my husband. Our son’s baptism was coming up on board the ship where my husband serves. My husband explained that he still wanted him to come and offered to come and pick him up and drop him off. He tells my husband he would rather not attend because it would start a whole new argument that he didn’t want to deal with. He claims he can’t have a 3rd divorce because it will kill him and he’ll be broke and won’t be able to help anyone.
Part of my husband was hoping that he would still show up the day of the baptism, but of course he didn’t. He texted my husband though later and said hoped it went well and that we can still go hunting and gave him a list of dates. WOW was all I could say.