My inlaws.....need advice!


#1

I need advice on this situation. I have three children who will all be having their birthdays within 7 weeks of each other, hence we will be having birthday parties. We have a very strained relationship with my inlaws right now, and they are not speaking to us. They have not seen us since May, after my FIL came to our son’s baptism and tried to start an argument with my father inside of the church, and then came to our home afterwards and was begged by MIL not to start an argument with us. He has started arguments before in public places (in a restaurant with me for my husband’s college graduation reception because he was jealous because my mother was holding our 2 month old daughter while she slept). There are other instances in which he has acted in such a manner. The baptism was the last straw, and my husband has told FIL that if he can’t control himself around our children at family functions, that we didn’t want him around us or our children. (My oldest daughter even asked after they left our home for the baptism “Why was her grandfather so mean to us?” ) That 's when my husband put his foot down. They have not come around us since the baptism, because now all of a sudden FIL is denying any wrongdoing (he never denied anything when my husband confronted him the day after the baptism - in fact he was proud of himself) and he is so “distraught” that we won’t let them be around our children and that their son is “not honoring his parents”. (Mind you I offered them to come see the children for Christmas and bring them gifts and they chose to UPS them instead.) This is a man who bullies people around with his anger and expects people to give into him so that we don’t have to deal with his anger fits. My MIL is very manipulative and she is the cause of his anger. She hates me and MIL, FIL, BIL and his wife have been actively trying to get me out of the family before I was officially in it. They are convinced my husband is soooooo unhappy with me, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. We have a very healthy and happy marriage, and I thank God everyday for my husband and kids. I have tried to talk to MIL several times, because she is the root of the problem. She either hangs up on me or doesn’t return my phone calls. I have even resorted to writing her several letters - none of which she answers. There is alot more to tell, but my question now is - Do I invite these people to the party for the children - or do I just leave them alone?


#2

No I would not invite these people to your children’s parties or any other family function.

We have cut out several of my husbands cousins, who caused nothing but trouble for us, from our lives completely. They hate me and think I’m making my husband miserable -which is rediculous, we are very happily married. My FIL is another problem- he has frequent mood swings from warm and friendly to cold and mean spirited. We see him less and less over the years.

You don’t have to tolerate this kind of behavior just because they are blood relatives. If people can’t act like decent human beings then they don’t need to impose their neurosis on others, especially children.


#3

If we were to love only those who love us that would make us no better than the pagans.

What marks us out as Christians is the love we hold for all.

The true test of Christianity is in loving those who hate us or persecute us.

I would invite them.


#4

Loving someone does not mean allowing them to treat you badly.


#5

… or to treat your children or spouse badly. Remember that your family (your husband and your children) should be the focus of your life, not your relationship with your inlaws. If they wish to spend time with you, your husband, or your children, let them change.

God bless,

Agricola


#6

Do I invite these people to the party for the children - or do I just leave them alone?

If they have not shown any sign of changing their ways I would not invite them to the party.

Move on and don’t let their absence shadow what should be a happy time for your family.

Pray for them but move on.


#7

[quote=Fergal]If we were to love only those who love us that would make us no better than the pagans.

What marks us out as Christians is the love we hold for all.

The true test of Christianity is in loving those who hate us or persecute us.

I would invite them.
[/quote]

I do love my inlaws in a weird way (after all they have put me and my family through, I have had to forgive them because it is the “right” thing to do.) However, I feel as though I I don’t lhave to tolerate their rude and ugly behavior around me or my children. I don’t think I am doing my children any favors by allowing their grandparents to treat their mother like I am unworthy of being in their lives.


#8

[quote=stayathomemom]I need advice on this situation. I have three children who will all be having their birthdays within 7 weeks of each other, hence we will be having birthday parties. We have a very strained relationship with my inlaws right now, and they are not speaking to us. They have not seen us since May, after my FIL came to our son’s baptism and tried to start an argument with my father inside of the church, and then came to our home afterwards and was begged by MIL not to start an argument with us. He has started arguments before in public places (in a restaurant with me for my husband’s college graduation reception because he was jealous because my mother was holding our 2 month old daughter while she slept). There are other instances in which he has acted in such a manner. The baptism was the last straw, and my husband has told FIL that if he can’t control himself around our children at family functions, that we didn’t want him around us or our children. (My oldest daughter even asked after they left our home for the baptism “Why was her grandfather so mean to us?” ) That 's when my husband put his foot down. They have not come around us since the baptism, because now all of a sudden FIL is denying any wrongdoing (he never denied anything when my husband confronted him the day after the baptism - in fact he was proud of himself) and he is so “distraught” that we won’t let them be around our children and that their son is “not honoring his parents”. (Mind you I offered them to come see the children for Christmas and bring them gifts and they chose to UPS them instead.) This is a man who bullies people around with his anger and expects people to give into him so that we don’t have to deal with his anger fits. My MIL is very manipulative and she is the cause of his anger. She hates me and MIL, FIL, BIL and his wife have been actively trying to get me out of the family before I was officially in it. They are convinced my husband is soooooo unhappy with me, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. We have a very healthy and happy marriage, and I thank God everyday for my husband and kids. I have tried to talk to MIL several times, because she is the root of the problem. She either hangs up on me or doesn’t return my phone calls. I have even resorted to writing her several letters - none of which she answers. There is alot more to tell, but my question now is - Do I invite these people to the party for the children - or do I just leave them alone?
[/quote]

Wow, I could have written your post! My inlaws are the same (although use emotional blackmail rather than arguments). We’ve had MIL cause problems at baptisms and birthday parties. Ultimately, we decided not to keep inviting them. I hated feeling uncomfortable in my home all the time during what should be special events and decided that these were not the memories we wanted to have. The children don’t care either way as they don’t like this set of grandparents either. We have also been accused of ‘denying a relationship with the grandchildren’. Funny thing is, when we have asked them to look after the children they have always had other things to do and haven’t come to visit us much. They’ve also never invited us - ever. I have made a big effort to get them involved but it just hasn’t happened. MIL thought that having the children at least two or three full days a week is being involved and got upset that I decided to be a fulltime mother to my children.

Over the years, MIL has done nothing but sulk and I have tried to help things. I have written letters (because she won’t listen if you talk) explaining things and giving our point of view and offering suggestions that fit with our family to help meet their needs. I’ve been very careful how I’ve worded things and been nice in the letters well beyond the call of duty (considering the treatment we have received from her). I don’t know if writing such a letter would help you.

You might also find the book, Toxic Inlaws or Toxic Parents useful.

We are now at the stage that MIL refuses to speak to us at all since we have made decisions that don’t suit her in our family life. (Control freak - she also refused to talk to her father for 30 years until he was dying - and then refused to ‘forgive’ him). I hope you can work out a solution before it gets to this stage.


#9

[quote=stayathomemom]I do love my inlaws in a weird way (after all they have put me and my family through, I have had to forgive them because it is the “right” thing to do.) However, I feel as though I I don’t lhave to tolerate their rude and ugly behavior around me or my children. I don’t think I am doing my children any favors by allowing their grandparents to treat their mother like I am unworthy of being in their lives.
[/quote]

You are right. We can love people without allowing ourselves to be abused. This is never acceptable.


#10

[quote=mumto5]Wow, I could have written your post! My inlaws are the same (although use emotional blackmail rather than arguments). …
[/quote]

Wow!! And I could have written your response!!! We must secretly have the same in-laws!! My MIL uses emotional blackmail and my FIL blackmails with his arguments and temper tantrums. Their latest blackmail attempt is that MIL has high blood pressure and it is supposedly all my fault. I was told by BIL that if we don’t make things right with her and something happens to her, he would blame us both forever (he seems to forget that condition runs in their family). BIL actually told us that we need to compromise with them on how we raise our kids!!! Over the years, I have also asked the IL to look after the children on occasion, and the time they wwere given with them was NEVER enough. They are ALWAYS complaining and throwing fits and finding the negativity in everything I do. They also NEVER invite us to anything (although they claim they ALWAYS do). I have also made a very big effort to get everyone together and get them involved, and I am the only one who has made the effort. My MIL also hates that I have chosen to be a fulltime mom to my children. My IL complain we don’t go visit often enough (we live 1 1/2 hours away from them). Before the baptismal ordeal, we visited on average of once a month, which I thought was pretty often. They never made the effort to come visit us. I almost died giving birth to our last child and they didn’t even care. They never called not once to see how I was doing after my near death experience. They never inquired about the pregnancies, but yet I am blamed that I made it difficult for them to get involved. I could go on and on. My IL have done nothing but sulk over the last few years, and I have also tried to help make the relationship better. I still can’t figure out why I keep wanting to try to make things better since they put no effort into it. My letters that I have written were carefully worded as to not hurt their feelings and were very nice too. I had to resort to writing a letter because we were told by BIL that “she can’t handle confrontations and she refuses to talk to you.” It was VERY hard to write them after the treatement I received after my near death experience, but I tied my heart and did it. It just hurts so much because I am being ignored. FIL is very angry right now because he wants my husband to go talk to them alone and specifically said he wants me no where around because he said “he needs to undo what I drilled in my husband’s head”. ( My husband SEES everything they do, it’s not like I had to tell him.) He told FIL that we are a package deal and that it’s both of us or none of us. God I love him so much!!! Sorry for rambling so much, but I need to talk to someone who understands. I just want this resolved for my husband and children. I don’t know how to put it behind me and move on and accept the fact that I won’t be accepted as part of their family. I thought that possibly inviting them to the party would be a step in the right direction, but they have shown no signs of changing their behavior, and frankly I don’t want memories of a disastorous party either. In fact, I think their behavior is worse now because of our “denying a relationship with the grandchildren”.

Thanks to everyone for the advice. This situation really bothers me and it is very helpful to talk about it.


#11

[quote=stayathomemom] us. I almost died giving birth to our last child and they didn’t even care. They never called not once to see how I was doing after my near death experience. They never inquired about the pregnancies, but yet I am blamed that I made it difficult for them to get involved. I could go on and on. My IL have done nothing but sulk over the last few years, and I have also tried to help make the relationship better. I still can’t figure out why I keep wanting to try to make things better since they put no effort into it. My letters that I have written were carefully worded as to not hurt their feelings and were very nice too. I had to resort to writing a letter because we were told by BIL that “she can’t handle confrontations and she refuses to talk to you.” It was VERY hard to write them after the treatement I received after my near death experience, but I tied my heart and did it. It just hurts so much because I am being ignored. FIL is very angry right now because he wants my husband to go talk to them alone and specifically said he wants me no where around because he said “he needs to undo what I drilled in my husband’s head”. ( My husband SEES everything they do, it’s not like I had to tell him.) He told FIL that we are a package deal and that it’s both of us or none of us. God I love him so much!!! Sorry for rambling so much, but I need to talk to someone who understands. I just want this resolved for my husband and children. I don’t know how to put it behind me and move on and accept the fact that I won’t be accepted as part of their family. I thought that possibly inviting them to the party would be a step in the right direction, but they have shown no signs of changing their behavior, and frankly I don’t want memories of a disastorous party either. In fact, I think their behavior is worse now because of our “denying a relationship with the grandchildren”.

Thanks to everyone for the advice. This situation really bothers me and it is very helpful to talk about it.
[/quote]

I understand more than you realise! I almost died having my last baby as well and MIL never once called to see how I was and when she came to visit to see the new baby (initiated by me), she totally ignored me and didn’t ask how I was. My baby was two weeks old and I still couldn’t get off the couch. At one point she went outside and my husband came and asked me how I was doing. I told him, “Fine considering I’m invisible”. He suggested to his mother that she ask how I was so she came in and said, “And how are you now? You must be ok now?” and that was it. I just nodded as no other answer would have been accepted. I guess I should have said something like, “I’ve just about died recently and I’m still recovering, not to mention the emotional aspects, but I’m just dandy.” It was then that I decided that was it. We did invite her to the baptism (she sat behind everyone else sulking and refused to come to the party afterwards). About 10 months later she blasted my husband when he raised the issue and hasn’t spoken to us since. I knew I couldn’t have peace about it unless I felt I’d done everything I could so I wrote her a letter, didn’t mention the hurtful things she had done, and told her we were leaving the ball in her court and were happy to talk any time she felt ready. Having now reached the point there is nothing else I can do, I feel peace about just letting it go. My husband is doing better without her constant criticism too and is quite enjoying the freedom.

Actually, I think MIL thought the whole birth experience served me right since she’d told me that four was more than enough children in this day and age and not to have any more. We defied her and got pregnant anyway. She refused to do any knitting for this baby and hasn’t once held her. I confess to being rather pleased on finding out I was pregnant that this would say to MIL, “see you can’t control our choices!”

Since then my SIL has had a child and MIL has her A LOT. So she got what she wanted. I know that where we are concerned she loves playing martyr. I wish I had a relationship with my MIL and am sad that I don’t. I would have liked to have shared everything with her. I guess that it’s just not going to be.


#12

[quote=mumto5]I understand more than you realise! I almost died having my last baby as well and MIL never once called to see how I was and when she came to visit to see the new baby (initiated by me), she totally ignored me and didn’t ask how I was. My baby was two weeks old and I still couldn’t get off the couch. At one point she went outside and my husband came and asked me how I was doing. I told him, “Fine considering I’m invisible”. He suggested to his mother that she ask how I was so she came in and said, “And how are you now? You must be ok now?” and that was it. I just nodded as no other answer would have been accepted. I guess I should have said something like, “I’ve just about died recently and I’m still recovering, not to mention the emotional aspects, but I’m just dandy.” It was then that I decided that was it. We did invite her to the baptism (she sat behind everyone else sulking and refused to come to the party afterwards). About 10 months later she blasted my husband when he raised the issue and hasn’t spoken to us since. I knew I couldn’t have peace about it unless I felt I’d done everything I could so I wrote her a letter, didn’t mention the hurtful things she had done, and told her we were leaving the ball in her court and were happy to talk any time she felt ready. Having now reached the point there is nothing else I can do, I feel peace about just letting it go. My husband is doing better without her constant criticism too and is quite enjoying the freedom.

Actually, I think MIL thought the whole birth experience served me right since she’d told me that four was more than enough children in this day and age and not to have any more. We defied her and got pregnant anyway. She refused to do any knitting for this baby and hasn’t once held her. I confess to being rather pleased on finding out I was pregnant that this would say to MIL, “see you can’t control our choices!”

Since then my SIL has had a child and MIL has her A LOT. So she got what she wanted. I know that where we are concerned she loves playing martyr. I wish I had a relationship with my MIL and am sad that I don’t. I would have liked to have shared everything with her. I guess that it’s just not going to be.
[/quote]

Oh my gosh… the more we talk the more we have in common. That was exactly how MIL acted when she came “visit” the new baby that I almost died giving birth to. I am always the one who extended the invites for them to come and I was the one who got ignored when they accepted the invites. I feel like I have done everything possible and imaginable, but for some reason I feel that as more time passes, they may by some miracle change their attitudes. I guess it’s just wishful thinking on my part. My BIL and his wife have a daughter a couple months older than my oldest, and she practically lives at my IL - which causes alot of problems where our children are concerned becasue they want our children over every single weekend and I just don’t like my kids away from home all the time (and not to mention they don’t like going over to the IL either). As I stated previously, I wrote a nice letter to her (had several people give me an unbiased opinion on it to make sure it wasn’t offensive) and I still haven’t received a response. I guess I’ll just have to leave it alone - which is something that is hard for me to do (that is leave something unresolved.) My husband seems unaffected by his parents not being in his life and he says it’s their loss. As a mother, I have this undying love for my children and would do anything for them. I can’t see how my IL can ignore their son and grandchildren and not try to better our relationship so we can go on as a family. I will never understand how mothers can treat their children this way. It saddens me for my husband. If anything this will make me be a better mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Would you mind if I PM you to talk more about this if I need more advice?


#13

[quote=stayathomemom]Oh my gosh… the more we talk the more we have in common. That was exactly how MIL acted when she came “visit” the new baby that I almost died giving birth to. I am always the one who extended the invites for them to come and I was the one who got ignored when they accepted the invites. I feel like I have done everything possible and imaginable, but for some reason I feel that as more time passes, they may by some miracle change their attitudes. I guess it’s just wishful thinking on my part. My BIL and his wife have a daughter a couple months older than my oldest, and she practically lives at my IL - which causes alot of problems where our children are concerned becasue they want our children over every single weekend and I just don’t like my kids away from home all the time (and not to mention they don’t like going over to the IL either). As I stated previously, I wrote a nice letter to her (had several people give me an unbiased opinion on it to make sure it wasn’t offensive) and I still haven’t received a response. I guess I’ll just have to leave it alone - which is something that is hard for me to do (that is leave something unresolved.) My husband seems unaffected by his parents not being in his life and he says it’s their loss. As a mother, I have this undying love for my children and would do anything for them. I can’t see how my IL can ignore their son and grandchildren and not try to better our relationship so we can go on as a family. I will never understand how mothers can treat their children this way. It saddens me for my husband. If anything this will make me be a better mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother. Would you mind if I PM you to talk more about this if I need more advice?
[/quote]

Sure, PM or email me. :slight_smile: I think you must be my twin sister :wink: My MIL is a non-responder too. I too would never let it go like that if it were my children. I’ve learned a lot from her and I do hope I can be a good MIL to my children’s spouses, especially with the DILs. Sometimes I’ve joked that my sons are going to be priests so that I won’t have daughter’s in law LOL. Fortunately we’re still a few years off having to think about that!


#14

Charity doesn’t mean to be an idiot (Im not calling you an idiot) :wink: by setting yourself up for abuse…I wouldn’t invite them, however I would remember them often and give them updates on the children and hopefully they will either come around or they won’t… But by all means pray for them.

Peace


#15

Hi Guys! You must all be my SIL’s! Try growing up with a mom like that! My IL’s have never been the problem, it is my mom and 1 sister and 1 brother. I definitely can sympathize! I lost one of my twins and had to be induced 3.5 weeks early to save my life…mom didn’t even care(my dad cried…mom just said, these things happen, you just have to pick up and go on). Then with daughter, she didn’t see her until she was over 2 yrs old. So sad that when I needed her most, mom abandoned me, but…was there for the deliveries of my 1 sisters babies…and when she went on and on about how poor T. had it so bad because she got pregnant 4 months after the wedding and she didn’t have time to “enjoy” married life I just wanted to slap her! I have come to the conclusion that my kids are more important than dealing with mom’s **** so other sister and I don’t expose kids to them too often, only when my other brother is in town will we gather with them.


#16

Stayathomemom:

I think you knew the anser to this question before you clicked on the submit button. What is left for you and your husband is to execute this decision. While it’s helpful to gather support here on the forum, the work that you really need to do is pray and help your husband work through this sad detachment from his (dysfunctional) family of origin. While there is a certain strength knowing that others have experienced this, you must move to fill the holes in your life by your now estranged in-laws. Decide with your husband how you will handle important dates in his family, such as ILs birthdays, anniversary, etc. Decide how you will speak to them and others like BIL. Having an identical mindset, one rooted in mercy and love, as a married couple is critical as you wrench yourselves free from these abusive people. You should expect that the tenor of destructive comments may escalate in the next few weeks, as your in-laws come to realize that you and DH really mean it: they change or they don’t have access to your family of procreation. And expect that they probably won’t change since their behaviors are so deeply ingrained. God bless you and your husband as your do the emotional work so critical to this next phase of your married life.


#17

[quote=Cupofkindness]Stayathomemom:

I think you knew the anser to this question before you clicked on the submit button. What is left for you and your husband is to execute this decision. While it’s helpful to gather support here on the forum, the work that you really need to do is pray and help your husband work through this sad detachment from his (dysfunctional) family of origin. While there is a certain strength knowing that others have experienced this, you must move to fill the holes in your life by your now estranged in-laws. Decide with your husband how you will handle important dates in his family, such as ILs birthdays, anniversary, etc. Decide how you will speak to them and others like BIL. Having an identical mindset, one rooted in mercy and love, as a married couple is critical as you wrench yourselves free from these abusive people. You should expect that the tenor of destructive comments may escalate in the next few weeks, as your in-laws come to realize that you and DH really mean it: they change or they don’t have access to your family of procreation. And expect that they probably won’t change since their behaviors are so deeply ingrained. God bless you and your husband as your do the emotional work so critical to this next phase of your married life.
[/quote]

You are right, we pretty much had made our decision before I posted. Maybe my question should have been reworded to say “Are we not honoring his parents by not including them at the party?” We do have an identical mindset when it comes to them, and he is very firm on not inviting them. I just thought that we should maybe extend yet another invite and hopefully they will change their behavior around us and our children. I am the type of person who always tries to resolve things, and I really think I am fighting a losing battle with these people. They just don’t want. You have given me very good advice here, and it is something to think about.


#18

I will offer you some hope. We had to do this with my parents, she being manipulative to the point of BPD, and he being a bully.

I mourned for years, on and off. My kids were confirmed, graduated school, etc. Now we have two darling granddaughters who have never seen my parents.

It will get better over time. You husband will feel guilty at the first couple events without them not because they are not there, but because he is enjoying himself and it is SOOOOOOOOO peaceful.

God does not expect you to sacrifice yourself to the point of allowing these things to happen and esp. not letting your kids be upset and afraid.

You can always make the gesture of inviting any of these people, explaining that the invitation is PROVIDED they can behave themselves. But you might as well go bat your head against a wall.

And do NOT believe the lie that the entire extended family has cut you off because you refuse to tolerate their bad behavior!!! I made that mistake, and lost out on time with my grandmother. Feel free to show up at family reunions if you are so inclined. If you see their behavior, a lot of other relatives do, too.


#19

[quote=stayathomemom]I need advice on this situation. I have three children who will all be having their birthdays within 7 weeks of each other, hence we will be having birthday parties. We have a very strained relationship with my inlaws right now, and they are not speaking to us. They have not seen us since May, after my FIL came to our son’s baptism and tried to start an argument with my father inside of the church, and then came to our home afterwards and was begged by MIL not to start an argument with us. He has started arguments before in public places (in a restaurant with me for my husband’s college graduation reception because he was jealous because my mother was holding our 2 month old daughter while she slept). There are other instances in which he has acted in such a manner. The baptism was the last straw, and my husband has told FIL that if he can’t control himself around our children at family functions, that we didn’t want him around us or our children. (My oldest daughter even asked after they left our home for the baptism “Why was her grandfather so mean to us?” ) That 's when my husband put his foot down. They have not come around us since the baptism, because now all of a sudden FIL is denying any wrongdoing (he never denied anything when my husband confronted him the day after the baptism - in fact he was proud of himself) and he is so “distraught” that we won’t let them be around our children and that their son is “not honoring his parents”. (Mind you I offered them to come see the children for Christmas and bring them gifts and they chose to UPS them instead.) This is a man who bullies people around with his anger and expects people to give into him so that we don’t have to deal with his anger fits. My MIL is very manipulative and she is the cause of his anger. She hates me and MIL, FIL, BIL and his wife have been actively trying to get me out of the family before I was officially in it. They are convinced my husband is soooooo unhappy with me, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. We have a very healthy and happy marriage, and I thank God everyday for my husband and kids. I have tried to talk to MIL several times, because she is the root of the problem. She either hangs up on me or doesn’t return my phone calls. I have even resorted to writing her several letters - none of which she answers. There is alot more to tell, but my question now is - Do I invite these people to the party for the children - or do I just leave them alone?
[/quote]

If the “arguments” are generally just petty and annoying, invite him back over, but stand your ground if he starts up again! If the “arguments” are damaging to your family, your relationship with your spouse, your children… etc etc. Keep him at a distance until you feel that you are out of harms way.


#20

[quote=OutinChgoburbs]I will offer you some hope. We had to do this with my parents, she being manipulative to the point of BPD, and he being a bully.

I mourned for years, on and off. My kids were confirmed, graduated school, etc. Now we have two darling granddaughters who have never seen my parents.

It will get better over time. You husband will feel guilty at the first couple events without them not because they are not there, but because he is enjoying himself and it is SOOOOOOOOO peaceful.

God does not expect you to sacrifice yourself to the point of allowing these things to happen and esp. not letting your kids be upset and afraid.

You can always make the gesture of inviting any of these people, explaining that the invitation is PROVIDED they can behave themselves. But you might as well go bat your head against a wall.

And do NOT believe the lie that the entire extended family has cut you off because you refuse to tolerate their bad behavior!!! I made that mistake, and lost out on time with my grandmother. Feel free to show up at family reunions if you are so inclined. If you see their behavior, a lot of other relatives do, too.
[/quote]

Oh, thank you for the advice. I just feel in the way and have been accused of being the problem where his reconciling with his so called “family” is concerned (although I have encouraged him to talk to them, write letters, and call them to settle things). :confused: I always thought that the “whole” family hated me because that was what his parents said, but come to find out his grandmother ADORES me (as well as many other relatives)!!! :smiley: She has written me several letters to keep my spirits up and assure me that I am a good person. I am the one who hates the way the relationship is more than my husband. You could swear they were my parents!!! I need to find a way to let this go and move on, but still leave the door open if they ever decide to behave.

I am sorry to hear about your two darling granddaughters. If only your parents knew what they were missing out on!! I am only a mother of 3 small children, and I know how much my parents adore the children and love spending time with them. I guess that’s why I can’t understand his parent’s rationalization. Maybe one day your parents will wake up and realize the years they have wasted. I will pray for you too! God Bless :slight_smile:


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.