My last resort...a prayer request


#1

Moderator’s Note: Due to the large amount of posts which gave advice in this Prayer Intentions thread, a thread was spun-off from this one.

This thread is for responding with prayers.
To offer advice, please see this thread.

I have posted questions about various issues I’m dealing with on a couple different Catholic boards, and I’ve received a great deal of excellent advice, some not-so-great. But none of it is terribly helpful. Partly because I don’t give away much personal information, partly because I’m too cynical. I guess what I need now is prayer. It’s my last-ditch, Hail Mary (pun intended), end-of-the-road option. I myself can’t seem to pray because I feel like I’ve burned up the last bit of goodwill God may have had for me. I’m now so bound up with stress and despair I’m frozen.

Here’s a snapshot of my life:

Girlfriend: I think I love her, but I don’t trust my own head, or my heart. Part of me wants to marry her, part of me recoils at the idea for all kinds of reasons–not the least of which is the terror that such intimacy will cast a light on all my many flaws. Couple that with an intense and abiding jealousy over her continuing friendship with a musician who she once had a fling with (on a break).

Job: I have an “interesting” job as an editor with a relatively large paper, but the pay sucks and I’ve peaked there. My qualifications, experience, and education don’t leave me many options. I’m frozen at 30 and don’t know what my next step is.

Writing: I’ve known since I was fifteen I should write…something. But ideas are few and far between, I have no desire to be a reporter, and I’ve got a drawer full of the beginnings of “novels.” The only “goal” or “dream” I’ve had that’s lasted, or that has given me any hope to go on, feels like it’s slipping away. I’m starting to think I made a mistake, or that I have no talent whatsoever.

Other people’s success: I know you shouldn’t compare yourself to others on something like this, but I work in an environment full of ambitious, bright people. They all seem to know what to do, and how to do it. I stumble along through the dark, but everyone around me seems to be making great strides and successes.

Faith: One way or another, I’ll always be Catholic. God, though, is very far away from me. Most of that is my own fault, but that distance has always felt like the natural way of things. God is just…out there. That’s the way it is. I go through the motions, fall flat on my face again and again, pick myself up, and go at it again. But the routine is too familiar, and I can feel something like a breakdown on the horizon–maybe another ten years “off” or something.

So, that’s it. I’m a mess. I’m not asking for advice, (though I won’t tell you to take a hike if you offer it), but I AM asking for your prayers. If someone can just remember to add me to a list of intentions on a rosary, I’d greatly appreciate it. I’m not asking for much. Just a miracle. :o

Thanks,
MM


#2

God Bless.


#3

I’ll pray for you too. Try praying for inner peace first, then for God’s will. I’ve been through similar things, and that is the way I finally got help


#4

[quote=montanaman]I myself can’t seem to pray because I feel like I’ve burned up the last bit of goodwill God may have had for me. I’m now so bound up with stress and despair I’m frozen.

Faith: One way or another, I’ll always be Catholic. God, though, is very far away from me. Most of that is my own fault, but that distance has always felt like the natural way of things. God is just…out there. That’s the way it is. I go through the motions, fall flat on my face again and again, pick myself up, and go at it again. But the routine is too familiar, and I can feel something like a breakdown on the horizon–maybe another ten years “off” or something.

So, that’s it. I’m a mess. I’m not asking for advice, (though I won’t tell you to take a hike if you offer it), but I AM asking for your prayers. If someone can just remember to add me to a list of intentions on a rosary, I’d greatly appreciate it. I’m not asking for much. Just a miracle. :o

Thanks,
MM
[/quote]

You’re in my prayers, and I’m sure plenty of other people’s prayers.


#5

Thanks, all. This place truly is a blessing.


#6

You are not alone! I don’t know a single soul who isn’t struggling in this world in one way or another. I too will pray for you, but I must admit, I will probably pray that you will write something that is Catholic in nature. (like Passion of the Christ)


#7

You’re in my prayers as well! God bless.


#8

[quote=rosarywarrior] I too will pray for you, but I must admit, I will probably pray that you will write something that is Catholic in nature. (like Passion of the Christ)
[/quote]

Here, here. I’ll pray that you both get closer to God and that you write.


#9

You’re in my prayers.


#10

My brother in Christ, remember, no matter how bad you think you have it someone else always has worse than you, no matter what the situation is. That is my philosophy in life. Go to church and lay your problems at the feet of Jesus. He died so that we can live. Always place your trust in the Lord.

2 Corinthians:17

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation:

  • the old things have passed away;*

behold, new things have come*.***

Jeremiah 29:11-14

  • For I know well the plans I have in mind for you,*

  • says the LORD, plans for your welfare, not for woe!*

  • plans to give you a future full of hope.*

When you call me, when you go to pray to me,

I will listen to you.

When you look for me, you will find me.

Yes, when you seek me with all your heart,

you will find me with you, says the LORD

and I will change your lot;……
**
*Matthew 7:7-8

Ask and it will be given to you;

seek and you will find;

knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks, receives

and the one who seeks, finds

and to the one who knocks,

he door will be opened.


#11

Cajun-man,

That hits the spot. As I have a certain reputation to maintain in an office of misogynists and wolves, I won’t let the tears fall. :wink:

Seriously, thank you.

MM


#12

In my prayers, T.


#13

I will certainly keep you in my prayers…Hang in there!


#14

MontanaMan

I can feel your pain in your post. I will pray for you. Please remember God will never turn away, will never reject you. He is waiting for you. It is you who have turned away Turn back to him! He **IS ** waiting for you. Perhaps if you can not pray right now, may be spend some time in adoration. You do not have to pray, just listen… You will be in my intention during Vespers tonight.


#15

“I myself can’t seem to pray because I feel like I’ve burned up the last bit of goodwill God may have had for me.”

God will never turn his back on you…even if you feel he should…if you feel that you can’t pray at this time at least listen for His voice…You will be in my prayers. Peace be with you.


#16

Montanaman,

I’ve added you to my prayer list.


#17

Montanaman,

My prayers are with you. Remember God doesn’t always answer the way we want or expect HIm to. Keep trusting Him, He loves you and wants the best for you.

“Having been diciplined a little, they will receive great good, because God tested them and found them to be worthy of Himself” Wisdom 3:5


#18

MM,

Remember, when it is hard for you to pray, others are praying for you.

Peace,

Ellen


#19

I, too will keep you in my prayers.

God bless you,
Sue


#20

montanaman,

First, I’d stop feeling sorry for myself.

Second, I’d stop using words like “issues”.

Third, if you can’t forgive your girlfriend then your not praying the Lords Prayer enough. You know, the part where it says “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Fourth, Your frozen at 30? You’ve got to be kidding.

Fifth, I’m reminded of a story I heard about Bill Murray. When he’d write for Saturday Night Live and he’d hit a dry spell or couldn’t figure out how to finish a skit, he’d write something like this; “And then Gilda says something funny.” The point is, he’d write. It’s called discipline.

Sixth, why worry about other people and their success. There’s nothing you can do about other people. Envy is not good.

It’s time to step up to the plate my friend. They are going to be throwing high inside heat from now on. It is not going to get any easier. All you can do is take it like a man.

Bill


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