I am new with this username because I can't remember my information for my old account. Over the past year I have asked you for prayers to help me find a teaching job. I'm happy to say that your prayers helped me to find that job. I also asked for advice regarding my spouse who was having an affair, but I tried to keep it gender nuetral so people would not know my sex. Many people assumed that I was a woman, but I am a man. I need outsider advice as to what I should do about my present state, my life is in shambles and all seems hopeless. Let me tell you my story...
I found out she was having an affair and confronted her, she seemed to want to work things out in counseling when we moved cross country for my new job. We never sought counseling when we arrived in our destination. I then uncovered a secret email account where she was still corresponding with her fling, and I confronted her. She finally agreed to counseling around Thanksgiving, but I told her I needed to know the whole story first. The 'whole' story was far more hurtful than I ever imagined, but I told her I would forgive her but I needed to know how. I told her time was of the essence, so we decided to go to Retrovaille.
At Retrouvaille she was having pains (had them prior to Retrovaille), and continued to have them during the after sessions. She missed a decent portion of some sessions and we missed the last sessions because she and the children were sick. She didn't like the homework, so we did little and completely stopped with all the illness. I told her recently that we needed to go back to the sessions and start doing our homework.
This past weekend she went out with a friend and was supposed to keep me informed of where she was at all times. I sent her a message at 2:30 because I haven't heard from her. I put the kids in the car and went to the last place she said she was at because I didn't know if she was in trouble. She finally called at 4:00 and said her purse and phone were in the car trunk so she wouldn't have to carry them in. She said the manager was her friends cousin and they were able to drink to 4:00. I checked her texts and all the incoming for that day were deleted, but she sent one to her friend stating "we are here." Supposedly, she was by herself and that doesn't seem like she is alone. She denies she was with someone and doesn't know how the messages were erased.
Sunday, she told me she never loved me or was ever attracted to me, this hurt more than the affair. I made a bonehead move and took the kids to where she worked so she could say goodnight to them. She was drunk (was not working, just at her work) and started a fight. The police became involved and she was cited as the aggressor (even though she called).
She says its over for good and I'm scared to death. We are talking and she maintains that its over, but I asked her to go see a priest with me (she agreed). How should I proceed in this situation?
More background knowledge - we are over our heads in debt and I don't know where to turn.
Any advice would help. I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm devasted that I'm losing the love of my life. I have forgiven past mistakes and have asked for forgiveness for min.