last thread on this, I promise. but I just can’t seem to find any peace and consolation. the thought in my mind are just screaming at me, I try to sleep and my nights are filled with bad dreams, being awake is an actual nightmare.
I just lost my young guide dog to cancer, she was much more than just a pet, I am certainly not trying to minimize anyone’s losses, the death of an animal is hard, but there are elements to a guide dog and handler relationship that are just not really explainable to anyone who has not experienced it, it goes beyond ordinary trust and loyalty and honestly, even out of all the guide dogs, including my first one, she was somehitng different. She had such strong devotion and loyalty, up until the end, even when she was sufferening from her horrible tumor
I just keep asking myself, why did this have to happen to her? I never imagined I would lose her first. I thought it was going to be my old boy to go, at which point I would probably be asking these same questions. and this is actually worse than I imagined.
was it something I did? did I have too many sins? maybe I wasn’t grateful enough to God while she was around?
I know God doesn’t let senseless things happen, so I am trying to find the greater good at the end of all this, so far, nothing.
I prayed for her to be healed, I wanted a miracle very much. nothing happened. I flip open my bible to try and find some wise words in scripture, no luck. I had prayed so hard to God to have mercy on her and spare her if this was the oly life she was getting.
I know animals don’t have immortal souls, I know theydon’t “go to heaven” per say, in the way that we understand it. I know they don’t “become angels” like some people have tried to suggest out of being kind. Other people act like it’s just a dumb animal and what’s the big deal, just get over it. and it’s extremely difficult to think that she just doesn’t exist amnymore, she was the lord’s beautiful creature that glorified him.
but I just need something to hold on to, I need something that can be theologically sound and believable. is there a way that God could potentially give her back? I have noticed a few priests and apologists/theologians saying that God might be able to raise them at the second coming, or recreate them. but how could he raise them if they had ceased to exist? and if he recreated them, would it still be the same one that we knew? is God able to restore something that previously existed to exactly what it was even if it had stopped existing? does he have that ability? I just need some possibilities to put my mind at ease. we don’t have to debate whether or not it will actually happen, but I just really need some hope in the midst of all my dark despair