My mom is crushed


#1

I converted this last Easter, and had my two sons baptised this morning. I was so excited, my six year old was thrilled. My two year old will probly be a priest, he fought it all till the end LOL.

Anyway, my mom has been totally against my conversion from the begining. She did not come to the Easter vigil, I didn't expect her to. She is very involved in her own church, and has been pretty upset about this. She said she wanted to be at the boys baptism. I thought ok that will mean a lot, I was happy she was coming.

My mother...sat there with her bible up to her chest as if she were fighting off the devil himself, and cried the ENTIRE time. Wouldnt even look at the boys as they were getting baptised. She told my grandmother that she loves me, but i was absolutely crushing her heart. She didn't speak to me the whole time, didnt speak to the boys.

I know i should be happy that she came, but i mean, now my six year old who was SO excited thinks she is upset with him and that he did something wrong. I'm almost angry that she came and was that way. If she knew she was that upset over it, she shouldn't have come. Your thoughts? :shrug:


#2

What denomination is she from?


#3

I am SO SORRY to hear this. Heartbreaking.

Tell your mom that she is still their grandmother, and your mom-that sometimes, when it comes to religion, the child must find their own path to the Truth. No, that doesn't mean there is multiples truths, but there are mulitple paths to it. I heard a great term on these boards once-Not everyone who gets to heaven is Catholic, but we're all Catholics in heaven.

I don't know if this helps. I hope it does.

A parents love for their child is eternal. I don't have kids of my own, but I know that from what I've put my parents though-(Belive me-my dad had alot more hair and didn't have a facial twitch-then my sister and I hit our teenage years! ;))


#4

Mom is methodist, which is where I was raised. It did break my heart.... but I guess in the end, Isaiah is still happy that he belongs to the church, and Landen will be excited someday.

And my house is exceptionally clean...thats what I do when I am upset....


#5

[quote="klriggins1, post:1, topic:194325"]

Anyway, my mom has been totally against my conversion from the begining. She did not come to the Easter vigil, I didn't expect her to. She is very involved in her own church, and has been pretty upset about this. She said she wanted to be at the boys baptism. I thought ok that will mean a lot, I was happy she was coming.

[/quote]

I'm guessing your mother thinks that you are either leaving Christianity for paganism or at least that you are leaving the TRUE CHURCH for something that promotes falsehoods? Since your boys were not already baptized I'm guessing that you did not come from a tradition that considers baptism necessary for salvation or at least that baptism should be an adult act.

Your mother is hurt. Don't take that away from her. But instead try to find what you have in common. Your are not abandoning what she taught you. You are delving more fully into what God has revealed. Don't expect your mother to see this right away. But hopefully in time she will understand that you are in the most Christ centered of all Christian Churches.

As for your boys... They need to know that Grandma still loves them. If Grandma is having a hard time showing this right now then you are going to have to limit contact to circumstances where religion is not the focus. Hopefully Grandma will be able to "behave" then.


#6

[quote="klriggins1, post:4, topic:194325"]
Mom is methodist, which is where I was raised. It did break my heart.... but I guess in the end, Isaiah is still happy that he belongs to the church, and Landen will be excited someday.

And my house is exceptionally clean...thats what I do when I am upset....

[/quote]

Methodists baptize infants, so, it is interesting that your mother would react so.

Go through the conversion stories here

catholic-convert.com/community/conversion-stories/

Find those who have come from the Methodist denom to Catholicism, and read those stories.

If you can, get a copy of "Five for Sorrow, Ten For Joy"by Ward. A book by a Methodist about the Rosary - and share it with your Methodist mother. This way you can share the devotion of the Rosary and Mary always leads us closer to Christ and His Church!

books.google.com/books?id=VpTVWxyQW4UC&printsec=frontcover&dq=five+for+sorrow+ten+for+joy&source=bl&ots=4lajPNbcgv&sig=efDNdF2E0Xk44Z-FrrD-TEaOajs&hl=en&ei=4BbCS9fsFIL6lweok6jdBA&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=9&ved=0CCwQ6AEwCA#v=onepage&q&f=false%between%


#7

:(
Sorry.

I cannot imagine that would be a normal Methodist reaction but you never know I guess...


#8

Your mom behaved badly and especially so in contributing to the confusion your oldest son now feels. And clearly her opinion of the church is so erroneously incorrect, such that she could find no joy in a baptizm that I would seriously consider not allowing the children to be alone with her for fear that she will attempt to confuse them further with lies about the catholic church.

You need to have a heart to heart with her and ascertain as to whether she can simply be a "grandmother" and not attempt to evangelize the boys away from catholicism. You are the parent, she is not. Also, as per the other contributors, at the time of the heart to heart, perhaps you can give her the CD conversion story of Scott Hahn found at www.salvationhistory.com


#9

My parents were both Methodist, also. When I told my mother that I was converting to Catholicism, she refused to speak with me for a few weeks. My father said that I had gone over to “the dark side.” Both of them were actually raised in more fundamentalist, anti-Catholic homes. They took my conversion very hard.

I’ve been Catholic for four years now. I’m not going to say it’s easy, but, eventually, they both came around. I think the best thing you can do right now is pray, set a good Christian example around your mother, and to let her know, bit-by-bit, that Catholicism is a fully Christian, Christ-centered religion.

Most of my parents’ prejudices against the Catholic Church were really based on misconceptions that they had heard growing up. Over the years, I’ve made it my job to subtly clear up those misconceptions. For example, a couple years ago, I made the following comment to my mom, when she asked me how my day was: “Great! I went to church and the Gospel was really moving. Did you know that if you go to Mass every day for three years you’ll get to hear the WHOLE Bible? That’s what I love about the Catholic Church! It’s so centered on scripture!” This started a whole conversation about the Catholic Church and the Bible.

I will pray for you, and I will tell you that there really is hope for your relationship with your mother. I knew that I had finally reached the point of acceptance when, last year, my parents went to Rome on vacation and brought back rosaries for my husband and I! They didn’t really know what rosaries were, but they knew that they were Catholic, and for them , that was finally OK. :slight_smile: (I cherish that rosary so much!)

This will be a great opportunity for you to grow in holiness and to learn more and more about the Church as you defend her over the next few years. You are called to a great journey. All of my prayers.


#10

My maternal grandmother was Methodist, and she married my grandfather, an Irish Catholic.

Her sisters gave her a very hard time of it, to the point where her father admonished them to "leave the girl alone".

And he was an Orangeman. :eek:

You know it's bad when an Orangeman tells you to lighten up on the Catholics. :rolleyes:

Nanny and Poppy were married in the Church. Nan never went to Mass, altho' the kids were raised Catholic. She always felt like she had no religion: the faith of her childhood was no longer welcoming, but she wasn't ready to cross the Tiber. She felt, faith-wise, adrift, like she had nowhere to go.

Poppy died in '72, and Nan moved in with one of her daughters. She died about seven years ago; in the end, on her deathbed, she asked for a priest. Dad asked her if she wanted a minister, but she insisted on a priest. So Father came over, and spoke with her privately; AFAIK, he administered the Last Rites, and I like to believe he welcomed her into the Church.

When her sister found out she was shriven by a priest, she was livid, practically accusing Mom & Dad of forcing a priest on her; but Dad set her straight, telling her he offered to get a United minister (the Methodists, Congregationalists, and some Presbyterians formed the United Church of Canada), but it was Nan's wish to see a Catholic priest.

Again, compare and contrast her father's attitude with her sisters'. All Methodists, one tolerant, the others bigoted.

But there is always hope, that bigotry can be overcome. Love is a powerful thing -- more powerful than hate. If your Mom truly loves you -- and I have no doubt she does -- I believe she will come around when she sees the Truth in your faith.

Conversion is a big deal. Let your family get "used to it". Your Mom obviously has to overcome the anti-Catholic propaganda she has obviously been fed all her life. She obviously loves her Bible -- she will soon see, God willing, that her beloved Bible is actually the Catholic Church's gift to the world.

God bless, and prayers for you and your family. All the best.

John


#11

Once Protestants learn more about what the Catholic Church really teaches they generally don't have strong emotional reactions against the Catholic religion. I try to challenge Protestants by saying something along the lines of "Obviously you're free to disagree with the Catholic Church all you want, but out of respect I request that your first learn what the Church ACTUALLY teaches before disagreeing with it." As a convert yourself, I'm sure you're aware of how many misperceptions noncatholics hold about the Catholic religion.


#12

[quote="CatofAlexandria, post:9, topic:194325"]

I've been Catholic for four years now. I'm not going to say it's easy, but, eventually, they both came around. I think the best thing you can do right now is pray, set a good Christian example around your mother, and to let her know, bit-by-bit, that Catholicism is a fully Christian, Christ-centered religion.

[/quote]

This has been our focus as well with my parents who are Mennonite. They have been very gracious in attending all the special days for us, our confirmation, baby baptisms, and first holy communions. However, although they attend, they sit and do nothing (well except for help watch the babies). Picture it more like this; American Gothic in the whole pew. They wouldn't even stand today for any of the readings nor the Lords prayer (it was Rachael's First Holy Communion). They are so stoic and act so uncomfortable as if they are doing something wrong by being there. But as my husband says, just as the Holy Spirit slowly chips away at our sins strengthening us, the more you offer them the Truth about the Church, the more the HS will chip away at them.

Let me encourage you though, be patient with them. Always be willing to offer them info and insight into what the Catholic Church believes in. Don't be pushy about it, but always be willing to give if/when someone asks. Slowly but surely, my mother has been asking questions. We think someday she may have her own personal battle while she seeks the Truth. And we will be gladly waiting with open arms to welcome her home. (wow what a thought that would be huh!?!)


#13

Before you necessarily adopt some of the more negative labels that some here have assigned to your mother's behaviour, plese consider this.

In spite of her opposition to your conversion, she did make a decision to attend the baptism. Is it possible that this offer was in good faith (no pun intended) and she was simply overwhelmed with emotion after she arrived? I don't know either of you, so I can't say, but you would know if this sort of behaviour is typical to her.

If she was in fact making an effort to be conciliatory and emotion overcame her, make an effort to find out what specifically upset her. Was she imagining you being lost, or thinking that this meant you now thought she was lost? Did she perhaps feel that she would now be somehow cut off from your family? I don't know what went through her head, but if you find out, you can attempt to deal with it, and as some have mentioned, decide what sorts of visits are appropriate in future.

Good luck. :)


#14

I'm sorry your mom is acting that way, I'm a convert so I know what it's like. My father was devastated when I converted. None of my family came to the Easter vigil when I became Catholic, I guess I wasn't surprised though. So I'd say at least she came! Maybe some day she will get over her sadness and will learn to see that it wasn't such a bad thing. Just live your faith in your daily life and she may slowly come around.


#15

[quote="Sirach_43, post:11, topic:194325"]
Once Protestants learn more about what the Catholic Church really teaches they generally don't have strong emotional reactions against the Catholic religion. I try to challenge Protestants by saying something along the lines of "Obviously you're free to disagree with the Catholic Church all you want, but out of respect I request that your first learn what the Church ACTUALLY teaches before disagreeing with it." As a convert yourself, I'm sure you're aware of how many misperceptions noncatholics hold about the Catholic religion.

[/quote]

I agree, and I also feel it's a two-way street. I have met far too many Catholics that know absolutely nothing about the mainstream protestant denominations but have very strong reactions to them.


#16

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