My Mom's been remarried for about 2 years now


#1

And it leaves me very worried about her. I never mention this because I don’t know how to really deal with it, or to really deal with it at all.

Advice please?


#2

Hi, Generic Man,

hm, and what are your feelings about it? What concerns you the most? Can you spell it out a bit? Thanks :slight_smile:


#3

If she’s happy, then be happy for her.
Kathy


#4

I know that the marrige has helpedout the family a lot, and my step dad is also a great guy.

But what concerns me is how the church basically sees her in a state of adultery, to my knowledge at least, which makes me fear for her soul (I really don’t want to delve too deep into this part)


#5

Oh please. So because my SIL is happy bringing some guy into the home she bought with my brother, someone she knows nothing about, and making out with him in front of my nieces and nephew, leaving them totally confused and upset, I should be happy for her? Whatever.

To a child of divorce, a remarriage can be devastating. It forever ends any hope of parental reconciliation. Even if the child was not aware they still had that hope, remarriage can be very traumatic. It is a grief that is very real, and frankly, the mother has no right to her child “being happy for her.” His family was destroyed, and a remarriage can feel to the child like that parent is dancing on its grave. Even if that it is not intended…

I think the OP needs more helpful advice than that. Like how can he deal with the fact that according to the Church, and it would seem, his own feelings, his mother is living in adultery? I am interested in this thread, because my parents were married in the Church, and my dad is remarried outside it. I have kept a respectful distance and do not discuss the issue, but that doesn’t mean I am happy about it, or about having to explain it to my kids.


#6

I’m not traumatized by it at all, I’m deeply concerned for my mother.


#7

Your mother is in my prayers.


#8

My opinion was based on the info stated in the first post. If the OP has concerns, they should be addressed to a priest. But ultimately, his mother is responsible for her own actions and happiness.
As to the adultery issue, and it is indeed something needing to be dealt with, that too is between the OP and his mother and his mother’s priest.
Th OP can and should express his concerns. The rest is up to his mother and stepfather.
Kathy


#9

Generic Man,

is your mother a Catholic? And you and your step dad?


#10

My mom’s Catholic, I’m Catholic, and my step dad’s non- denominational.

And sorry if this is a dumb question, but what does OP stand for?


#11

OP is original poster (or opening poster).


#12

I’ll write to you later.

Could you meanwhile look at this?

forum.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=2323296#post2323296


#13

Generic Man

Since we don’t have all the particulars of the situation here are a few suggestions:

  1. talk to your priest about it, perhaps there are circumstance he can flush out that may nullify some of the sin you suspect
  2. encourage your mother to talk to her priest about the situation
  3. pray and pray some more

Your mother is indeed responsible for her faith. You can only pray that God’s mercy and compassion are given to her based on the circumstances and that she will make whatever amends she needs to in order to receive those graces. It really is up to her and you can pray for her that those graces become known to her soon. Good luck and peace.


#14

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