My parents are very lax in their faith


#1

Sorry for the rant...

Well my parents don't seem to even care about being Catholic. They are sending me and my siblings to a Catholic school, and they attend Sunday Mass usually. Sometimes my dad skips because he has too much work to do (we live on a dairy farm which does require a lot of work but not enough to skip Mass) and my mom has skipped because she was too tired.

My dad consideres hard core faith, like going to daily Mass or praying the Rosary, for old retired ladys who have nothing to do. He even made the comment that his sister is throwing her life away by attending daily Mass and she shouldn't worry about that for a long while. The problem here is that I'm 16 and I absolutly LOVE going to daily Mass and the Rosary. :D So hearing this from my dad is disappointing because he is a major role model for me. My mom supports my dads opinion on faith. She acts upset with me when I go to daily Mass or express my faith in almost any way :( I feel like I have to sneak around them sometimes

Right my mom wants to take me shopping tommorrow on Good Friday. I asked her if we could go saturday since she insists on going before Easter. She says no, we have to make a delivery for the family business and take one of our hired help to the hospital. I wanted to spend as much as tommorrow as possible in reflection and attend the 3:00pm celebration which I will be unable to if I am in town all day shopping. :(

I really am getting frustrated with my family as this goes on and on... If you have any suggestions on how to deal, I would love that


#2

catholic teen,

May great blessings be upon you for your love for the Church, and for your devotion to Holy Week!

That said, witnessing to the faith in this setting is difficult, as you point out. One would ordinarily think that religious sense increases with age, but in my experience there is a poor correlation. For now, you are obligated to honor and obey your parents, but continue to be positive about your relationship with Christ. Do not let it become a source of tension and argument, if possible.

You are in a position to be a lifelong inspiration to your parents, and one or both may actually need this much time. They will not convert overnight, short of a visit by an apparition of Our Lady. They have cooperated with God to give you your earthly life, now you can patiently cooperate with God to help Him give them their eternal ones.

My prayers with you! Tim


#3

Thank you for replying timotheos! This is what I really needed to hear. I have been praying for them and will continue to do so. Thank you again and God Bless!


#4

Many young saints have had to endure such parents as yours - and even worse ones. Just as many devout parents have had to deal with “unholy” kids.:stuck_out_tongue:

Have courage.

Right now, since you are underage, you need to be obedient to your mom and go shopping tomorrow if that is her desire. Offer this up to Our Lord. Remember that He too was where He had to be and not where He would have prefered because His Father asked Him to go.

As for your dad. His attitude is not all that uncommon. It’s maybe a little less common for the women to think like this but I guess it’s getting more common these days. :shrug:

In any event, hold on to your faith. Love God with all your heart. Get to Church as often as possible. Pray for your parents. And make sure your dad an mom know that you love them so much that you have made them your special prayer intention.

May God continue to Bless you on your journey.

Peace
James


#5

How refreshing it is to hear about a young person who is on fire about her faith in spite of her parents not having the same enthusiasm.

It is only right that you obey your Mom about the shopping, and just offer it up with love to the Lord. He knows you would rather be with Him on Good Friday, but the fact that you are obeying your Mom pleases Him also.

There will be other times during that day to pray and meditate on the Lord’s Passion.

Keep praying for your parents and show them the love of Christ.


#6

Your parents are living their vocation, not only by going to Mass, but by going about the unglamorous daily tasks of supporting and raising a family. Quite often this is a thankless job. Try not to be so quick to judge them. You are proof of the good work that they are doing.


#7

Going to daily mass and praying the rosary is not the only way not to be a “lax Catholic”. Even in Catholic religious communities there are both active and contemplative orders. It seems you have contemplative inclinations, but that doesn’t mean people who don’t bad Catholics.


#8

Thank you all for replying, everyone’s advice really helped me.

God bless!


#9

You must, must read the story of Pier Giorgio Frassati. His parents were lukewarm about the faith, but he was a devout young man. He often had to face their criticism. He hid his spirituality. In fact, he used to sneak out the window to go to morning Mass.

catholiceducation.org/articles/catholic_stories/cs0157.html

Born in 1901 to an influential Turin family, Pier Giorgio was a rebel against his parents’ secularity. His agnostic father was the founder and editor of the liberal daily La Stampa, and served later as the Italian ambassador to Germany. His mother was a nominal Catholic at best, and intended Pier Giorgio to join the ranks of Turin’s elite society. His father forbade him to become a lay missionary. His mother forbade him to marry the woman he loved; she was too ordinary a girl who shared Pier Giorgio’s deep Catholic faith — a disqualifying mark in his mother’s eyes.

But Pier Giorgio was constrained neither by his parents nor their riches or influence, and set out to live the Christian adventure to its fullest. He could be found at Mass in the early morning, and tending to the poor and sick in Turin’s impoverished neighbourhoods at night. Indeed, when he died in 1925 — from polio likely contracted from tending to the sick — his parents were shocked at the thousands of poor people who lined the streets for his funeral procession. They never knew.


#10

When people get busy with work and caring for a family some of the passion for faith might wane a bit. This can be construed to mean they dont care about the faith but in reality they may just be stressed from work and have a lot on their plate. Work can overtake people and consume their lives. I have an uncle that works 8-10 hours a day for 7 days a week and another that commutes 5 hours or more a week between his jobs work HQs. Farms are a lot of work. Ive never lived on a farm or been on a farm but my mother did and she always told me about how difficult it was to wake up early in the morning and have to care for all the animals and clean everything. It is a good thing they are educating you guys as Catholics. It shows they are putting in an effort even if they dont have the passion. People generally get more religious as they get older. Dont be surprised if that is the case with them.


#11

I thought about this and I understand about being busy. I just hope that going forward people who know this don’t use this as an excuse not to go to mass on Sundays. My father told me he was too busy taking care of us kids working when we were younger and that’s why we didn’t go to mass on Sundays all the time.


closed #12

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.