I posted here a little while ago and received some very good advice so I’m back for more There is a 20 year age difference between my partner and I. I’m in my early thirties. We’ve discussed issues around this at length and things are really good between us and starting to get serious. With one exception- my parents. They’ve met him once and don’t want to meet him again. They have no objection to him at all except for the age difference between us. They think he is far too old for me and that I’m ruining my life. I thought that in time they might calm down a little and start to see how happy I am with him but this is not happening. I feel sick with worry about this as I really want my parents to get along with the person I’m with. I can’t see things progressing with him as long as my parents so vehemently disapprove but at the same time I can’t see myself ending things either.
It all came to a head recently as my father had to go into hospital for surgery. I talked to him the night before and all he could talk about was how wrong I was and what a mistake I was making. He even went so far as to try to guilt me into ending my relationship by saying that he might not make it through the surgery and he was worried about how I would end up. I was really really upset after this conversation. Thankfully he made it through the surgery but he is not doing very well in hospital and I am so worried about him. But every time I go to visit him things are very strained even though I avoid the topic at all costs. My mother feels exactly the same as him so I can’t talk to her about it. My friends say to me that I need to do what makes me happy but neither choice makes me happy. I feel so conflicted as I have never had such a disagreement with them in my life before and always take their advice on board. I’ve listened to them but it seems that they are basing their decision on one issue and won’t take the time to get to know him at all. I don’t know what to do. Either I make my parents happy by ending it or I stay in the relationship knowing that they completely disapprove.