Okay, so I know this question has been asked before but somehow I think it will make me feel better to ask it again. Please bear with me as I explain.
I am 24 yrs old .I spent several years descerning religous life. I was in several communities where I learned alot about myself and some of my faults and strengths. After 6 yrs of descernment it was obvious that I was not emotionally or even physically capable of living the life. Partly because I entered at 18 and came from family where I was over sheltered and where my parents were constantly fighting and threatening divorce. Quite simply, I was not called and the grace was not there. So in much confusion I left.
In past two years since I left I met a wonderful man who has become my best friend in all the world. We had a long distance relationship for a year and half and now are live near each other. We got engaged last August and are planning to get married in June,2010. By the time we get married we will have known each other for over 2 years. He has made me realize that I am beautiful and lovable person in the eyes of God and others. It was an up and down road for us but now we seem to see the road really opening up and God just seems to be opening all the doors for our marriage like we never dreamed! I am certain and at peace about my vocation in life and that has been an amazing grace!
Anyway, the problem is my parents. My parents have opposed every decision I have made since I left the convent. They say it is out of concern for me because I was in and out of 3 orders and had gone through times of much uncertainty. I on the other hand, had gotten advice from priests and counselors to disregard my parents concerns and move out and get a life of my own. I am an adult and I need to live my life, make mistakes, have my own triumphs,ect. Anyway, so I have been living on my own for the last 2 yrs and have grown leaps and bounds from it!
Now I am ready to get married and my parents are pitching a fit. I wanted to be all traditional and have my fiance ask my dad's blessing for our marriage.He called my dad and my dad told him he had to talk to me. My dad then called me and asked me if I wanted to marry FI. Well, after a very short conversation my dad just said he did not know my fiance well enough to give a blessing. My fiance had visited with my family about 4 times before that including the entire day of Easter and more. While he was there they barely talked to him! It made me so angry that I did not want to bring him around that much. As I said it was a long distance and hard for us to find time and money to visit them.
So my dad not giving a blessing sort of threw us of course because my older sister's husband did not know my parents well, as they had a long distance relationship as well, and my dad readily gave consent. Anyway, so my fiance decided to propose to me anyway on the feast of the Assumption. I said yes but we agreed to wait a few months before making it public in order to give my parents a little more time. In that time my fiance made a point to visit again. NEVER ONCE since the day my dad called me did they ever bring up our engagement or even ASK about my fiance again...
Well after a novena to St.Joseph and him working some major miracles I was able to move closer to my fiance last month.This meant living 7 hours from my parents. I told my sister I was moving and I think she told my parents before i could. When I tried to call my parents so that I could tell them about our engagement and my future move, they would not answer the phone. I was unable to go see them do to car trouble. So I sent them an email as last resort.
So here is the short of it. I moved,my parents got angry and say that I am disrespecting them and dont love them. They say that are concerned about me since I have issues in the convent in the past. They want us to wait a few more years to get married and spend more time with them. They do not want me to live far away from them and ignored me when I tried to call or email for the last month. They pretty much told me that I either had to choose them and doing what they want, or my fiance and doing what we believe is God's will. They make a point to tell me over and over how God is displeased with me and how God would never lead me to do what I am doing. That it could not be God's will for me to get married with my parents opposing it. If I choose against them then I am choosing to shut them out of my life and they will have no more part of me or my fiance.
I am torn up inside. No matter what I say there is no pleasing them. I find being tempted to just throw in the towel...I mean its easier then fighting but there is no way I could just give up my fiance and our upcoming marriage plans. I have been seeing a Catholic counselor to sort of help me get and stay on the right track. He says that my parents are playing a game with me cause they want to control me. They are unwilling to let go and I am unhealthy in the way that I allow it to affect me. He told me cut it off. So I sent them an email telling them I would only talk to them on the phone or in person and that I am not playing this game anymore. I am not choosing between my family and my fiance because I choose both. It is THEM who are choosing to be a part of my life, my fiance's life, and our children.
So needless to say I got a response. the first response after a month of being ignored. Apparently I got to them. They say my email was disrespectful and childish and they will pray that God will give me deep sorrow for all I have done to them. I have given no response.
So here is the question..what are your thoughts on the situation? I hate going through this and I need some support.