I’m going to get some things off of my chest.
I’m irritated, annoyed, frustrated, and downright angry at times.
I’m irritated that the Catholic church is so misunderstood and attacked today. I yearn to defend her.
I’m annoyed that the pseudo-knowledge that exists in modern secular culture about Church history has run amok amongst the general public.
I’m frustrated with common themes I’m hearing and seeing in my church.
*]“The Church can change” in regards to actions.
*]Hipster guitar players on the freakin’ sanctuary during Sunday evening service.
*]No mass on the feast of the Conception.
*]RCIA classes that merely go around in a circle once so everyone can give their knee-jerk check-ins for the week, and talk about how things make people “feel”.
*]Shortcomings in confession being dismissed in order to feel the Grace of God, obviously worrying about my guilt. Again, emotions.
*]Eyebrow-raising terms such as “humanist” and “embracing modern” themes being tossed around.
There’s a plague in Protestant Christianity, it’s the new-age, rock-church movement. It has no hierchy to answer to, and your faith is based on “feeling” God. Such “feelings” confuse the mind, because we feel outside of the church, and we sometimes don’t feel inside of the church. Our emotions fool us.
Yet, here I see emotions and “feelings” creeping into the body that I gladly flocked to, Catholicism. It’s as if I can’t get away from this damned new-age movement.
*]The Catholic church is full of the most potent knowledge and standards we can unite around. And yet, here we have modern priests using dangerous language.
*]The Evangelical spirit can certainly be applied to how the message is spread, in what manner and presentation.
*]However, Dogma is dogma. There are things and actions we know. And too often, thus far in my forever walk in Catholicism, have I heard not standing up for Catholic values, but apologizing for them and leaving an open ended “we can change” lead-on promise.
*]It’s as if we want to show we’re flexible to those on the outside. The problem is, those on the outside want us to be flexible on what in not flexible whatsoever.
I’m frustrated by common believers in the Catholic faith, those who
*]take communion when clearly in mortal sin
*]Fit in a bit too well into the edgy, modern, secular world
*]Don’t attend mass every Sunday
*]Punch in and punch out for an hour and that’s it.
*]Aren’t even aware of what the stances of the Church are
I’m 33. I’m single, and struggle in relationships due to the heavy sinful nature of my previous relationships, as in pre-marital relations. Thus, since my converstion, relationships haven’t really been doable, as most women today refuse to commit to a man who is focused on God and the Catholic Church above all. I’ve considered priesthood, I’ve considered a leadership role in starting men’s group activities, as my church has zilch. I work in special education, but don’t earn enough to call it a career. I’m free of obligation to other people. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
I just know I’m frustrated, not only with these things, but at myself. My shortcomings. My wasting of my own talents and offers. I feel like I could really help the church, but have no idea how. I’m fascinated by defending the faith, and striking down slanderous propaganda by outsiders. I question if my pride is involved every day. I almost assume my callings to priesthood are nothing but foolish pride. I err on the side of caution.
Anyways, I’m frustrated. The Catholic Church is magnificent, yet, parishes can clearly become watered down and unchallenging of its people. Becoming Catholic has been a burden to me within the comforts of my life, but I welcome that burden. It’s what defines me as a Catholic, the changes and sacrifices I’ve made. We Catholics can unite in these standards, and support each other. Yet, I sense such a passive nature at my church from most.
Do I sound crazy? Do I sound bitter? Do I sound proud and judgemental?
What am I? What does a guy like me do?