I know its long, but I am very passionate about this issue and I believe it deserves attention. I posted it in a new thread so I wouldn’t take the other threads of course:
What seems to be constantly stated within these forums is the idea that I, as a homosexual, should be willing to sacrifice sexual relations with men, for this, in the long run, is nothing but a fleshly, sinful and irrelevant desire. Again, it has been stated that homosexuals and heterosexuals are both equally tempted with lust, and therefore, the homosexual has no reason to complain that his hardships are more than the heterosexual.
This first of all implies that all a homosexual desires is sex, and secondly, that sexual relations are the bedrock and sole purpose of a homosexual relationship. While this may be true in the case of some, if not many, it is ignorant to blanket this across all homosexual relations. I have stated before that I believe sex to be the physical expression of a spiritual and emotional bond, in short, sex combines the body, the mind and the spirit into a single physical act that extends into each of these planes. Sex is an act of love, as you would all agree, so when two people are joined in this act of love, it becomes, if you will, an act of worship to God, who is Love itself.
But these forums paint a rather different portrayal of the sexual act. Sex here is painted as nothing more than a carnal desire, and perhaps, the easiest method in which we can earn our seat in hellfire. Discard sex, I am told, for it is a sacrifice you should be willing to make for the approval of the sexless male God, who gives us this beautiful desire, but yet denies many of us of its fulfillment, who gives us this desire, but defames it as nothing more than ‘something of the flesh’, unworthy of further consideration.
I ask those of you here who are married: Is your marriage to your wife or husband nothing more than a strong, exclusive friendship with the occasional role through the sheets? I doubt most of you would choose to describe it this way, for in marriage there seems to exist a bond or unity between the couple that extends beyond a physically gratifying friendship. Some people would not hesitate to call their spouse ‘their soul mate’. You see the Church not only winces at the notion of homosexual sex, but it winces at the idea that two people of the same sex can feel for one another as the opposite sex can, that they can interact in the customs and ways that define heterosexual romance. So your argument is flawed my friends in saying that God asks only to deny me of sex, for he denies me the companionship and love of a partner that I can commit my entire life to, of which sex is an essential element. So you see, your God denies me very thing that we see praised in every love story, that we hear cried out in every love song, that we see echoed in art, that we hear exposed by poetry and literature. Can you not see that this idea of love, of finding that ‘special someone’, of completion in a relationship (that, yes, includes sexual interaction) is, quite possibly, the dominant theme within our society? So this relationship which we seek is then, a very emanation of our humanity, of our divine purpose.
So when I am told that my sexual desires are no more than those of a heterosexual, I would agree. Yet it, in your eyes, it is a desire that I can never act upon, while the desire of the heterosexual has already received the Divine Consent. So not only am I called to struggle with this lust, but I am called to remain forever incomplete, unlike the heterosexual, who always knows that he can one day fulfill these desires in the context of a loving relationship.
Now I will not assert that all will be unhappy living a life without sex, without finding a life long partner. I know some here on this site are exploring chastity and have found true happiness in it. I however, will not find true happiness in such a state, though I do not possess the ignorance to apply my situation to all of humankind.