My priest yelled at a parishioner in front of others


#1

Um, today my priest yelled at a parishioner in front of others for something extremely minor. The old woman apparently blurted out “im cold” at adoration yesterday and father thought It was a good idea to yell at her about it after mass. He kept telling her it wasn’t right to say that when Jesus is exposed and then asked other parishioners to vote on whether or not she was wrong. I ended up saying nothing and walking away, shocked. I don’t think Jesus minds if an old woman says she’s cold during adoration, no matter how loudly she said it. She’s just an old woman. Who cares? Even if it was wrong of her, couldn’t it have been handled in private?

Should I bring this up to the priest or let it go? I wasn’t the only one who was shocked at his behavior btw


#2

No words. :scream:

How very unfortunate. I’m so sorry. That poor, poor woman.

Were there any deacons or other clergy there? If it happened to me, I would approach the deacon to discuss my feelings about what happened, and then the deacons and maybe some other church leaders could privately talk to Father about the situation.


#3

Well that one is on Father. He’ll have to answer for that one. She may not even realize that she said it loud enough for anybody to hear. Praying for her, Father and all who had to witness the incident.


#4

Another priest was there and he tried to change the subject


#5

I don’t think I could let it go. Can you talk to that priest about it?

Since I am close to our deacons and their wives and many leaders at my parish, I would talk to one of them about it and let them discuss it with Father. I wouldn’t presume to discuss it directly with him.

I would also pray for him and that unfortunate woman. I think she’s going to need someone come and visit and bring her some soup this week! If it had been me, I might have dropped dead in shame.


#6

Like another said, maybe she didn’t realize…chances are she wasn’t trying to be rude. No reason for the priest to yell at her. I would think a calm approach would have been better…but we all make mistakes. Pray for the Priest, maybe he’s stressed about something?


#7

What do you think you should do? What does your conscience tell you to do?

Btw, she is NOT “just an old woman.” As for “Who cares?”, you will when you are old and get cold easily. I’m sure she didn’t mean to disrupt Adoration by making the comment.

As for your priest reprimanding her in front of other parishioners, I’m at a loss as to what to say other than pray for all.


#8

You can rest assured the other priest will do more behind closed doors.


#9

Yes, she very likely didn’t even mean to say it or didn’t realize how loud she was. She might have just been absent-minded or forgetful for a moment. I very much doubt she was trying to be rude.

Prayers going up for all involved.


#10

I don’t think he meant that in a derogatory way but rather a deferential way. We go easy on minor faux pas of the very young and very old.


#11

That’s how I understood it also.


#12

And also, it is not forbidden to speak during Adoration.


#13

I meant like the priest shouldn’t care about a woman saying she’s cold. It’s a minor thing.


#14

Not a very smart move on the part of the priest. If its too cold in church for her, she may now think the priest doesn’t care and its the last you’ll see her for a while there.

I think the priest should really reach out to this old lady, although she is unlikely to demand he do so.


#15

Thank you, that’s good to know. I mean, I hear people pray the Rosary there and other mumbled whisperings to Him. Maybe she was just talking quietly to Jesus about how she felt.

And then to bring it up after Mass today, instead of gently talking to her about it yesterday at Adoration?

It sounds like there is something else going on and the priest needs some serious prayer.


#16

And she’s a daily mass goer too


#17

Can you define “yelled at”?

The reason I ask is I’ve known many people to consider any sort of a cross word or correction to be “yelling at”.

Did he raise his voice far above the normal decibel range? Was he red in the face? Gesticulating with emotion?


#18

Had a very similar thing happen in my church. At daily mass in the sacristy the priest yelled at an elderly woman who was adjusting the heat—she was serving as the sacristan. Although he was originally hesitant to do so, some of us explained that it would be bad “public relations” not to do it. He did. And we moved on.


#19

He was loud. Very. People were rolling their eyes. He was telling her over and over again it’s not okay to blurt our you’re cold in front of Jesus in the sacrament. “If you’re cold grab a sweater.” And she said she said it so that he would turn the ac down. He said “no!! You don’t say I’m cold in front of Jesus when people are trying to pray.” Me and the music director rolled our eyes and were like woah, why is he yelling and walked away


#20

I’d talk to him and ask him how to process it.
Still, realize that if there is anything going on with the priest who shouted, the priest who tried to change the subject almost certainly could not tell you without breaking a confidence. Try to stick with having him help you decide what to do rather than learning what is going on.


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