My priest yelled at a parishioner in front of others


#21

I would’ve let it go if it didn’t go on for about five minutes. It wasn’t a little correction or a normal comment. Plus asking other parishioners to judge whether she was wrong or not was not right imo


#22

Well, the general rule of polite church stuff is the person wearing vestments determines where the AC is set. If others are cold, they should bring a sweater or wear layers. Now, there is a nice way to say that.

As advised, speak to the other priest and let it go. Maybe bring an extra sweater next time so you can offer it to someone who looks cold.


#23

Idk I just think there’s a way to say something to little old church ladies and a way you shouldn’t


#24

And every one of us sometimes say or do something rude to other people. Be forgiving, be kind, and speak to the “other priest” then let it go trusting he has handled it.

Oh, and most women would get offended if you called them a “little old church lady”, so, perhaps just say " a parishioner " :wink: Advice from a little old church lady.


#25

That woman has probably been a loyal faithful Catholic most of her life and she has been treated dreadfully. She may well have children and grandchildren who are disconnected from the Catholic Church and hearing about her poor treatment could be a huge setback for their faith.


#26

OK I have to say this is an issue here too. Father told me I “freeze him out” with the temp, in the Church when I set it. I have to realize just because I am always hot not everybody else is, so I try not to be the Thermostat control hog. I will just have to fan myself more and live with it.


#27

Probably could have been handled better.

Maybe he was having a bad day. I’d move on.


#28

In the case here Father who is all vested in layers is the one who is cold. But hey whatever I can fan myself.


#29

Just wondering…did he need to yell at her about this? He couldn’t calmly ask her not to adjust it?


#30

I feel for you, CJ. It can’t ever be too cold for me.


#31

We all make mistakes, we all have bad days and we all say things we shouldn’t. Hopefully this woman will pray for Father, Father will pray for her, we will all pray for all of them and this will be all forgiven.


#32

Prayer for all involved.

That’s all.


#33

I think he was having a bad day. By the way, this particular priest has left the priesthood and is engaged to be married. I got to know him pretty well, I think he will be a lot happier.


#34

Me either. The ONLY time I’ve actually gotten cold in church is when I was sick or in the middle of a very cold winter and the heater wasn’t working in Church. Other than that I’m fanning. :flushed:

I tell people cold people can put more on in Church, hot people can’t take more off in Church. :laughing:


#35

Exactly!! I feel the same way. It’s not like we can strip to our bikinis in church.

And wearing layers is really fashionable, so they should thank us! :laughing:


#36

Hmmm… reminds me a little bit of my former Parish Priest.

We used to have caretakers for the property many years ago. The family originally lived on the grounds but then moved into a nearby neighborhood. Anyways, BINGO was short on volunteers one Friday so Father marched over to their house and angrily demanded that the entire family volunteer!

Our Priest had a habit of regularly being abrasive if not verbally abusive. Thankfully, he was reassigned.


#37

Maybe she’s a repeat offender at blurting stuff out and disturbing others. Many older folks think they own the churches they attend so start adjusting thermostats, turning lights on and off, staking out pews and parking spaces, etc. It may have been more efficient for the priest to publicly reprimand her and hope that the other interrupters also learned a lesson. God knows that if a priest had to privately counsel every old folk in the parish about their complaints and eccentricities, he’d never get a wink of sleep.


#38

What the priest did was wrong, and there is no way around it. I think I’d talk to any deacons and the priest. If that didn’t work I’d go to the bishop. Since he humiliated and verbally abused the poor old lady in public, he needs to apologize to her in public.


#39

The priest lost control and it was unfortunate because this kind of thing does not happen in the church. And when it does, it is unfortunate for everybody.

Everybody should take a deep breath but more so the priest and perhaps the old woman as well, that could trigger such an inappropriate reaction from the priest. There probably be much more that we do not know but except for the account from the OP.

Perhaps the priest could take time out for a few months for a personal solitude to compose himself and to examine his role as a minister of God. When we do something that is indefensible that goes against our good nature, it probably is a manifestation of something deep within.

It may be good to gently speak to the priest, at least to let him know that what he did get the attention of some people.


#40

While I think this could have been handled more calmly and privately, I can’t help but wonder if the elderly lady has a habit of blurting stuff out at Adoration, or if there is a general issue with people making noise at Adoration, and the priest has received multiple complaints about it from people who feel their prayer is being disrupted. I also wonder if this is the first time the priest has spoken to this lady about this type of issue. Oftentimes when people lose patience it is because there’s been multiple incidents and the person is just at the end of their rope. The onlookers who did not see the past 6 times this already happened and just walked in on the last act are not going to know the backstory.
Just pray for all involved. If that elderly lady is a regular Mass goer, I’m guessing she won’t scare off that easily.


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