Good day to you all,
I am fairly new here, but, as I stated in my introductory post in the meet and greet, I am very glad I found these forums.
I hope this is the right place to post these types of things, but forgive me if it is not. I’m wondering about a few things, and also wondering if there is anyone here who has experienced similar.
Brief rundown. I am a very happily married man, who has a beautiful loving wife of nearly 19years. We have a 5 year old daughter, and another on the way. For the past 30 years or so of my life, I have been, how can I put it, not true to my faith, the church, or well, much of anything to do with religion. I was raised Catholic, attended CCD, first communion, confirmation etc., but never really took a huge interest. It’s almost as though I have used the church out of procedure, more than actual belief over the years. i.e., weddings, funerals, baptism etc. That’s not to say I have not thought about God in some form or another, nearly every day of my life, I have just never truly practiced, or concerned myself with much more than the most basic obligations.
Fast forward to a few months ago. Something has literally changed inside me and I am not sure what has caused it. I found myself attending mass, for the first time in quite some time, with my wife and daughter. After that particular mass, I had a tremendous urge to begin re-learning about the church, religion, and my Catholic faith. I began attending mass regularly, and the feeling simply keeps growing. Over the past weeks, I have begun studying things like the order of mass, the meaning of all that goes on along with many other things, including reading of the bible. I actually went out and picked up a new copy, NAB version, at my local Bible book store and looked for one that felt “just right” to me. I also phone my parish and scheduled a one on one confession with our priest. (This will be my first in a very, very long time, and I wanted to make sure I did this right).
Along with this, I have had a profound feeling, almost of obligation, to do even more. Once I feel more comfortable with scripture, procedure and prayer and understanding it, I’m thinking of looking into volunteering at my parish, and possibly pursuing becoming a lector or something similar.
Do I sound crazy here? For nearly 30 years of my 40 year life, I have shown as much interest in even going to church as I have in poking out my own eyes. Then suddenly, I can’t get enough. I WANT to learn more, do more and share more than I ever have. Perhaps it is something to do with my unborn child, although I don’t understand why this did not happen to me previously. I just don’t know, but I do know I like the way it feels. What I mean by that, again, not trying to sound nuts here, but when I get up in the morning, I just feel “good”. I get in the car on the way to work, I see the orange hue of the sun on the horizen, and I can’t help but feel happy. (And yes, I’m one of those who would normally be in the car, drinking my coffee, blowing the horn at the guy in front of me who won’t get out of the way). :o
Anyway, I could probably go no forever, and much longer than I could hold anyone’s attention, but I wanted to just get this out there. Again, I found these forums simply by looking for more information, and I’m glad I did.
Thank you all for reading, and listening. (And hopefully for not telling me I’m nuts)!