So yesterday I was confirmed. It was a beautiful ceremony. However…
I have clinically diagnosed OCD and anxiety, but please humor me.
The priest read from the Gospel, and then gave a short homily. It was pretty cool. It was like a personal homily to my folks and I. He began talking about God assuming humanity and how that gave us the ability to share in God’s life etc. At this point, when he began talking about that, I began thinking of the level of perfection needed to go to Heaven and become perfect.
This is where something happened. I looked off to the side and thought ‘man, that’s hard.’ I then began thinking about destroying things of mine that conflict with the Catholic faith. I then realized I wasn’t paying attention, and looked him square in the eye and listened, as he began talking about Confirmation being a strengthening in the Holy Spirit.
When I thought ‘man, that’s hard’ I didn’t reject the idea out of hand. I didn’t think I don’t want to do this. I was just dismayed. It was an automatic thought. But it’s been troubling me since last night. If I had thought ‘I reject this’ my OCD would have really been aggravated, I know that. And I’d remember it.
Which brings me to my question. Was I validly confirmed? I know this is silly, but I don’t want to bother any priest I know with this. I’ve bothered them enough.
Thank you for reading.