I am not sure where to put this but this is a good start.
My 76 yr old estranged mother will most likely be put into State Care by the authorities after a several year decline in her mental health. Her latest series of falls landed her in a 3 wk hospital stay (and a surgery) with a 4 week Medicare rehab. Since she is making NO progress and is not expected to recover she will be released.
She needs long term care. She is expecting my father, dead for 27 years, to come pick up, doesn’t know her own address or phone number (held for the last 23 years), and when I show her a photo album of my children, she forgets them and the pictures within 10-15 minutes. She does not have alzheimers - just severe dementia.
She firmly believes she has the ability to take care of herself, by herself at home–alone. She refused to consent to nursing home care and without a court order, she doesn’t have to go. And if she gets there - she AT ANY TIME can leave.
Despite having a long term care policy that would cover in FULL 4 yrs of nursing home care, over a $1/3 of million in assests NOBODY can touch any of it because she gave no one power of attorney and she now can’t. The state Texas sides with her. Unless I pay $$ thousands in legal fees and get someone to give me a bond = to her estate (not going to happen - her estate is worth 4x our household income ON TOP of own mortgage & debt) she will be put in state custody with adult protective services on Wednesday. And in all likelyhood, the money my dad died for (lawsuit settlement) will go to the state instead of his grandchildren and will squandered instead of judiciously used for my mother’s care (like any other govermental agency).
My mom & me have been estranged for the last 4 years because I wanted her to follow doctors orders and move to assisted living and quit driving while she was still ‘aware’, but she told me to go where the sun don’t shine instead. didn’t need that drama in mine or my children’s lives. 4 years ago she fell and couldn’t get to a phone so she laid in her own filth for THREE days until the housekeeper found her. 2 years later her drivers license was revoked when she nearly drove her car into a 7-11 (yes INTO) and she didn’t recall where she was or how she got there. This is the straw that broke the camels back - she CANNOT go home. But in Texas you can go home and die if that is your wish, unless you call in APS.
It has been almost 2 months since this round of drama started. I am the youngest of 5 children (only of my mom’s third marriage) and NO ONE but my aunt (he sister) is helping other than just an email saying ‘good luck.’ My mom has not been a nice person so she drove most of the family that is still alive–away.
I am soo depressed - I can’t sleep, eat like crazy and can’t focus on anything. I am so heartbroken and frustrated.
I can’t bring myself to leave the house today, so I didn’t make it to mass today. I am too tired and too stressed. I hope God will understand. My aunt is driving 9 hours to help me close up my Mom’s house and remove any heirlooms before the state decides to auction them off.
I have prayed countless rosaries, been to weekday masses and Christ has given me strength - but I am exhausted.
thanks for reading.