my sister is a lesbian

If this is off topic, please forgive.
I don’t know who to start. My younger sister (she’s 22) is a lesbian and she’s been in relationship with another girl for 1,5 year. She told us about it and that was a shock for my family. I have no words. We love her but we don’t know what to do, how to live with this information. She’s a good, helpful person. She said that she tried to change, to be heterosexual, but she couldn’t. She’s sure about her orientation. She decided to reveal her secret beacuase she trusts us and couldn’t lie. Now,she’s happy with her girlfriend. But my parents are desperate.
We are Catholics. We believe in God. Is it possible to help my sister? I don’t want to change her. I want to accept, understand.
What should I do? Will she be damned?
I beg, help me. Explain.

The best thing you could do is continue to love your sister, try not to treat her any differently. Pray for her, speak to a Priest or adviser if you are having a very hard time dealing with this. Make sure she knows you still love her. You can honest about your shock and confusion but make sure she knows she want to accept her and you are taking steps to do that.

Most likely your sister also believes in God, remember that when you are interacting with her. It’s a good thing that she felt comfortable enough to come out of the closet to your family. What you can do for your sister is to love her unconditionally and pray that your parents continue their relationship with her. Life is too short to hate.

Thank you for your reply. Thank you… I will pray. I will love her. Always.

Remember that with God all things are possible. There are many ssa people who are living chaste lives, because they decide to cooperate with the grace of God.

Keep praying for your sister and her partner that they put God first.

I first suggest you look at the ressources from Courage ministries, they have a lot of information for people struggling with same-sex attraction and for their families.
Also, this movie is pretty great at explaining where the Chruch stands on this matter
Pray for her and keep loving her and let her love in her own way. Encourage her to stay away from sin if you are able to do it kindly. Don’t worry. She has as much hope of reaching heaven as you or me!

I have a person in my family that is too. It is a female. I will always love her and I appreciate her honesty. I hope she appreciated mine. We are very close even now and she told me this a few years ago. She is a little different she is Bi-sexual. However I told her the truth, it is a mortal sin and unless you repent you cannot enter into the Kingdom of God any more than I can if I don’t repent and go to confession for my mortal sins. However, I pray for her and I believe that through my prayers if they are truly sincere that God will help her just as he will all of we poor sinners. God’s mercy is incredible! The truth will set you free.

Sounds like you may support her being Lesbian Amartmal since you don’t ‘want to change her’. What’s your true position on this matter?

WilT, that was a little hard for her to swallow, but sometimes tough love is best, particularly when our souls are in trouble. I want her sister and that person in my family to go to Heaven. I will pray for them both. I think she doesn’t want to hurt her sisters feelings.

Love her & pray for her.

Just keep loving her, as you always have. Her sexual life is really nothing to do with you and it is great that she feels able to talk openly with you about such a personal matter - a tribute to the love and trust you share.
God bless you both. :slight_smile:

Just love her for who she is, and be there if she needs you. My sister is gay and has been in a Civil Union for 9 years now. She and her wife make each other happy and have a better relationship then some heterosexuals I know. I do believe that God has a reason for everything, even if we do not know why at the time. So I just have faith and keep going on that reasoning.

Thank you for all your words. // We live in Poland, where is hard to be gay. I’m worried about her. That’s why I had a stupid thought about changing. It was a mistake. I will pray for her, and support her. She also believes in God. Thank you.

You are so helpful. God bless you

God bless you for this is the answer. Truly loving a person means that we are as concerned about their eternal life as we are about this earthly one. If someone is allowed to live a life of sin, but in danger of losing their soul in the process, how can it possibly be said we love that person if we do not minister to them with truth? Love involves honesty and always wants what is best for them according to God’s plan.

Do not support her state of sin! Do not accept her “orientation” . You are a Christian. If you really love her and care for her, you wouldn’t be thinking about her feelings, but her soul! Pray and pray hard for her conversion to the Holy Spirit while doing some mortification and offerings to God for the conversion of your sister. She must know that her beloved sister does not accept her state of sin and that you want the best for her: conversion.

:thumbsup: great!


Yes, absolutely.

Do not accept her “orientation” .

No. Not the battle you want to fight. Look up “Eve Tushnet” on Google.

If you really love her and care for her, you wouldn’t be thinking about her feelings, but her soul!

Reaching out to another person evangelistically ALWAYS involves thinking about their feelings. Evangelism doesn’t work by force.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit