My sister has been involved in an affair as the other woman for about a year. She told me about this a few months ago. Now the affair is out in the open. He’s leaving his wife and son. They are making plans to “move on with life” together. My sister, by the way, was divorced from her first husband because he cheated on her and walked out. I stood by her through all the tears and hurt.
I am the ONLY one in the family who has expressed any kind of concern or worry about this. I have tried my very best to not be angry with her. I haven’t even had to work at letting people know that I believe this to be objectively wrong. As the only practicing Catholic left in the family I guess I didn’t have to. It seems that because I am not offering words of encouragement and support and best wishes on her new found happiness that that makes me judgmental. What I have mostly told my sister is that I think she is choosing to go down a difficult road, that I love her very much, and I will always be here. But I am very worried for her. I know it is very hard to respond with speaking truth in love, but I do believe I’ve tried as best I know how.
My mother and I have gotten into it several times because to her I will be more blunt and point out that this whole situation is terribly wrong. The idea that they are happy together is rather irrelevant. But it always turns into one of those relativistic things where I shouldn’t be imposing my idea of right and wrong on other people…he’s such a solid and great guy…she deserves to be happy…I shouldn’t see things so black and white…
How do you navigate situations like this? I have two boys ages 9 and 6. The oldest remembers his first uncle. I have been informed that I am expected to welcome the new guy with open arms when we all get to meet him at Christmas time. Apparently I should be “happy to know” that the separation from the wife is underway. I think the entire family has lost their collective mind. If I am angry at anyone it is my parents. For my sister, my heart is aching.
I need some advice from some wise Catholics. Anyone?