So my lil sis (who turns 21 in july) confided in me a few days ago that she and her boyfriend are considering becoming engaged. While I am excited at the prospect of a wedding I am very concerned about this move on their part. I am the only person in the family who knows about this...so I can't really ask advice from anyone.
1) BF is not reliable and he is controlling. In there 4 year relationship they've broken up 3 times over very petty things like not getting enough attention. He stays friends with ex gf yet she can't remain friends with ex bf or he gets jealous. Most recent break up 6 mo ago he admitted to sabatoging my sister's relationship by telling the guy she was seeing she was cheating on him when she wasn't! :eek:
2) Can't take rexponsibility for self. He can't hold a job because he can't wake up to an alarm clock. He was also arrested 1 yr ago for failing to pay traffic tickets (leaving my sis stranded in a bad area of town at 2 am) and yet found money to take both of them to a concert the month before in another city.
3) He is bipolar and she has severe aniexty. Neither take meds regularly as instructed.
Maybe I'm overreacting but I don't think "taking the relationship to the next level" as she puts it is a good idea. Lil sis is still at home and makes a little over minimum wage at part time. When I ask her why she wants to get engaged now her only was she was tired of living at home and having curfew so she couldn't stay the night at his house... :shrug:
I want to say all these things to her but I'm afraid it will just push her away from telling her anything. I'm at a loss as to what to do without making her feel as if I'm preaching to her. I am the only catholic in my family of Easter and Christmas christians. Family is uncomfortable with nfp, praying before meals, the pope, etc. and openly mock us for these things. I know bringing christian morals into this could further that divide.
I have no problems with engagement IF both parties accept responsibility. I have this fear they are only doing this as a means to mask other issues or he is doing this to continue his control. I also have concerns that due their inability to take medication they may be feeding each others' insecurities (if that makes sense) and they think taking the next step will solve that.
Do i sit by and watch this happen or speak up at the risk of losing her? I've been praying about both but i haven't found peace with either. :(