My soon to be Fiancé


#1

Hey yall, seeking for advice on trying to show my Girlfriend (we are going to get engaged in September) the beauty of the Catholic Church.

Little bit of background: I grew up Protestant (Methodist) and joined the CC at 17 (am still the only one of my friends and family to be Catholic) I am a bit History nut (History Education Major) and enjoy learning about Theology and Apologetics (I am commonly in Protestant vs. Catholic debates) I love getting into the Doctrine and History and consider myself adequate at it (I’m no Jesuit but I can hold my own against most common anti-Catholics)

My girlfriend However (whom I love dearly and we both enjoy a very loving and healthy relationship) is not like me in this regard. She is Baptist (though now she goes to the Methodist church with my parents so she is trying to meet me halfway but I could never leave the Catholic Church. She hates to talking about religion though, She’s is devout, goes to church and prays often, but sees most of what I do in learning Theology and Doctrine as unnecessary at best, and potentially distracting from Christ.

She doesn’t mind me being Catholic and occasionally comes to Mass with me, but has expressed that she has no intention or want to join the Catholic Church. I would never want her to do it just for me as that would be being dishonest in her faith, and I feel after prayerful reflection that we can still have a wonderful marriage.

My question to you is (if you are still hanging on and reading this long post) is how can I show her the beauty of the Catholic Faith? She’s is completely opposed to listening to Theological discussion and even when I have demonstrated why we do something and that it is backed Scripturally and Historically, she doesn’t seem to respond and I don’t feel comfortable pushing it to far with her.

Obviously I plan to continue to strive to be the best darn Catholic I can be so hopefully she will be inspired by it, but it looks like I’m in this for the long run. What are some things I can do without pushing my faith on her but to demonstrate the beauty of our Catholic Church?

Thank you kindly, especially for sticking through the whole post.


#2

Hi, there.

Congratulations on your (impending) engagement! (This is one side of my head trying to respond; the other is in panic whilst planning a wedding in November!)

It seems to me that you are doing all that you can to leave a positive impression of the Church for your intended. Since they apply to you, discussing the marital tenets (one marriage for baptized people) would a good point to begin a slow digestion of the depth of the faith and how it sees marriage as very important.

If you haven’t visited the USCCB’s website for couples about to marry, I invite you to do so.

Continuing to visit Mass together is also good. She may feel that not being able to receive the Eucharist is a hold-back, whereby you can explain that for non-Catholics not to receive is to protect their souls from judgment since they don’t see the Body and Blood for what we know it to be.

As a Catholic, I’m assuming that you’re checking with your priest to get a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic (the formal term is called “disparity of cult”) in the Church. That process might also help her see how Catholics take married life very seriously.

I’d also point out how we read passages of the Bible at every Mass and discuss them in detail when we can.

Good luck!


#3

I would like to encourage you to keep praying for her, as I am sure you already are.

As my name bar shows, I'm not currently Catholic.

I am a lot closer to the Church than my wife, who grew up in a rather Fundamentalist church (her father is the pastor of the church we currently serve in, which makes it difficult to separate personal matters from more objective matters. My father also being a pastor doesn't make it any easier).

If you've listened to Scott Hahn's conversion story, he mentions how his wife told him she didn't want to hear it all. He converted and she could not at that time, and didn't even want to discuss it. Over time, she saw it working in his life and, in addition to her own seeking, this helped to bring her into the Church.

We aren't the Holy Spirit, so we can't push others in (as you know). We can, and must, however, live so full of God's grace that those close to us see how it affects us and can be drawn in.

For me, I was already studying and learning about Catholicism, and I learned that many concerns were non-issues once I started to understand the real Catholic position.

The first time I went to Mass (evening before Divine Mercy Sunday this spring), I was praying that God would make it clear to me what He wanted me to do, what was right. Upon leaving, I found myself asking Him (laughing through tears) why He had to make it so clear!

The beauty of the Liturgy is a pretty strong "argument". But I've also been helped by the beautiful lives of some devout and loving Catholic brothers on another internet forum.

(Hope you read this long post and it, at least, encourages you.)

God bless you in your walk!


#4

All you can do is pray for her. If you try to push information in when she is closed to it, you will just end up pushing her away from the Church. One important thought I had though... make sure you have discussed the religious faith of any children you will have one day, not to mention the Church's teachings on birth control and natural family planning. Both of these could be major problems in the future if you have not already discussed them.

Congratulations and God bless you.


#5

You might be trying too hard. I would give the Holy Spirit space to work on her heart and you can help by living the best Catholic life possible and praying for her. It took my husband 20 years to convert; he had to do it in his own time, not mine. Has she consented to raising your children Catholic? That can be a HUGE problem later on.


#6

=Redbaron998;6700054]Hey yall, seeking for advice on trying to show my Girlfriend (we are going to get engaged in September) the beauty of the Catholic Church.

Little bit of background: I grew up Protestant (Methodist) and joined the CC at 17 (am still the only one of my friends and family to be Catholic) I am a bit History nut (History Education Major) and enjoy learning about Theology and Apologetics (I am commonly in Protestant vs. Catholic debates) I love getting into the Doctrine and History and consider myself adequate at it (I’m no Jesuit but I can hold my own against most common anti-Catholics)

My girlfriend However (whom I love dearly and we both enjoy a very loving and healthy relationship) is not like me in this regard. She is Baptist (though now she goes to the Methodist church with my parents so she is trying to meet me halfway but I could never leave the Catholic Church. She hates to talking about religion though, She’s is devout, goes to church and prays often, but sees most of what I do in learning Theology and Doctrine as unnecessary at best, and potentially distracting from Christ.

She doesn’t mind me being Catholic and occasionally comes to Mass with me, but has expressed that she has no intention or want to join the Catholic Church. I would never want her to do it just for me as that would be being dishonest in her faith, and I feel after prayerful reflection that we can still have a wonderful marriage.

My question to you is (if you are still hanging on and reading this long post) is how can I show her the beauty of the Catholic Faith? She’s is completely opposed to listening to Theological discussion and even when I have demonstrated why we do something and that it is backed Scripturally and Historically, she doesn’t seem to respond and I don’t feel comfortable pushing it to far with her.

Obviously I plan to continue to strive to be the best darn Catholic I can be so hopefully she will be inspired by it, but it looks like I’m in this for the long run. What are some things I can do without pushing my faith on her but to demonstrate the beauty of our Catholic Church?

Thank you kindly, especially for sticking through the whole post.

Did you know that ther are over 100 references to “the Church” SINGULAR in the NT?

And Matt 16;19 and 18:18 are very clear and powerful.

Eph. 2:19 So then you are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, SINGULAR] built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone**, in whom the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; [SINGULAR] in whom you also are built into it for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”

**Eph. 4: 4 **“There is one body [One Church] and one Spirit, One set of beliefs] just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, 5 one Lord, [One Triune God] one faith, [One set of doctrine and dogma and Tradition] one baptism, [By water in the Trinity] 6 one God and Father of us all, who is above all and through all and in all. 7 But grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift”

ONE God, One Church and One Faith is what God founded and desires.:thumbsup:

Love and prayers,
Pat


#7

We were told two stories in our Mystygogia after RCIA. I think both are applicable here:

A town was divided by religion. On the upper crust, white side of town, everyone attended the local protestant church. On the lower class, Mexican side of town everyone was Catholic. The two didn’t mix much. One morning tragedy struck a couple from the protestant church. Their son was found to have OD’d on drugs the night before and was dead. Members of their church brought dishes, attended the funeral, but slowly started to drift away; some were busy with their own life, some didn’t want their children getting mixed up with drugs, some had never been close, etc. Months later this couple were walking down the street when an old Mexican woman came up to them, babbled quickly in Spanish, and walked away. Her daughter, who had been following, smiled sadly and said “She wants you to know that she lights a candle for your son every morning before Our Lady of Guadalupe and prays for your son’s soul.” The daughter hurried after her mother. The couple became Catholic soon after.

The moral was that despite wherever we come from, race, language, finances, etc, there is room for everyone in Christ’s church. Our traditions are not only for Christ but for us, that’s why He gave them to us. Everyone can find comfort in Holy Mother Church.

The Second story: While studying to be a pastor a woman learned about the Early Church Fathers. She dove more and more into their writings, found them to be Catholic, and converted. She then went to work on her family. Her parents, her sister, and one brother all converted, but one brother would not. She tried every argument, every apology, every Biblical and Historical fact, but nothing swayed him. Eventually he moved several states away. Three months later he called his sister to tell her he was converting. She barraged him with questions. What had changed his mind? He said his neighbors welcomed his family, invited them to dinner, showed them the community, and invited them to Mass. Their kindness had done more than her arguments ever had.

The moral was it takes both intellectual arguments and charity to win souls. Don’t loose sight of the fact that people are not just souls to be won, but also people.


#8

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