I just turned 16 and About 7 months ago, I started coming closer to my faith. I started praying the rosary everyday (which I still am), going to confession every other week (kinda hard with my mom making me stay at home), reading the scriptures on most nights, and attending mass and recieving communion (again all of which I still do). I’ve been doing that constantly because I wanted a change to happen, I wanted Gods help.
But recently I’ve started to feel numb in the soul and impatient because of howblong I’ve waited while still keeping my faith. As a cause of that, I started committing sins I had done regularly before I had come closer to my faith, some of them mortal. And what’s worse is I commit those sins sometimes without any feeling of guilt probably because I feel as if theres no point in trying anymore.
I truly love our Lord, but I feel I have gone so far yet accomplished nothing. I’ve been told doing what I am doing will bring many good things and miracles. But I feel empty. I’m just a kid that really has no friends (at least any friends that care much for me), has really no one that can actually listen to what I feel or what I have to say, and you know, I’m just trying to find my purpose.
Something good did happen though. I’m transferring from my school that I just dont feel comfortable in (a school that has people that could care less for what you feel) to a Catholoc school which from when I visited seems great, it looks looked like a new start to my life. Only problem is, I have to wait until next year. And I’m not sure how much longer I can go in the situation I’m in.