My speech (work in progress)


Here’s the link:

Please,please, PLEASE give me feedback.


I read the first third of your post and found it interesting and very well written.
But I have to say I’m unclear about the intent of the post. It’s really long, People on the internet are not often inclined to read something that long. I’m a voracious reader, but somehow on the internet my attention drifts off after a few paragraphs. Especially when I’m not sure what the intent of your post/blog is.

Are you trying to defend the church? The Eucharist? The liturgy? You touch on many issues. I would suggest that you pick one subject and explore it in 5 or 6 paragraphs, then another time choose another subject. That is, if you intend to explore many issues of the faith.
Is this a speech? Who is your audience? How long is it intended to be?
Whatever your purpose, I would suggest you work on condensing your work. But also be aware that your writing is intelligent and well done.


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