My Story

Hi Everyone! Sorry I haven’t been on for a while. It has been so crazy because my dad is getting Cancer removed on the 18th and just trying to tie up loose ends.

I wanted to share this story with you. Not for judgement which I am sure I will recieve some of but because I wanted to share it myself- for my own healing. Some of it many have heard parts are brand new. Here I go

I was born and raised Roman Catholic. My church was a block away from my house. I remember ridingmy bike to Mass on Saturdays. I would go and sometimes bring my friend if she was spending the night at my house. I was raised to love and serve God and went to CCD classes. My parents couldn’t afford Catholic School. My brother was never a good kid. Always searching in his life and getting into trouble. My parents didn’t sit me down and recite a rosary with me or things like that. I learned in CCD. My parents made me go to church every weekend and I hardly complained.

When I turned 22 they decided that they would be combining my church and 3 others into one. They kept saying not to worry about the building- we were the church. I looked at everyone around me upset and hurt. Every memory of “Church” was in that building. Around this time Elizabeth Smart was brought home after being kidnapped for 9 months. I had prayed for her and found it to be a miracle. I went to the Church and before you knew it i was having missionary discussions. I fell for the missionary and I believe really joined for him. After he was transfered the day of my baptism I left 3 weeks later. My parents were never happy but went to my baptism. They had given me so much info on the church and how wrong it was before I was baptized. I was told not to look at it by the missionaries. After I left I went back to the Catholic Church.

Around 2 years later I felt like I should go back to being a member of the Mormon church. I was sad because our new ‘church’ was just a meeting room. I had missionary discussions and all that. even thought I knew it was wrong I joined. I was hurting and liked the community. I left about 8 months after being baptized. I have not been back. Saddlyu my friend who went to mass with me is still a Mormon member. I blame myself for her joining. If I wouldn’t have been interested the first time she would never have joined.

After I left I decided to get my Theology degree at a Catholic College. I was happy to be back to the Catholic Church and even liked the new church worship spot (not a church yet) because the Priest was wonderful and taught me so much. was growing so much with my studies and stuff. I have to stop and say the Catholic Church does something wrong (I know they are working on it) We don’t learn the bible a lot. I learned more in 2 years at college than my whole life as a Catholic.

My priest (who was also my teacher at the college) put in a request to help build the community more and build the church. He would stay another 7 years. He was approved and was very happy. Then one day the bishop transfered him because of a priest passing away. The new church was just starting to heal from all the combining then the priest was gone. The church today isn’t doing so hot. I decided I needed a church to worship in so I joined a Catholic Church in a town 20 minutes away. They had combined 6 churches into 3. They kept the origional churches. It felt good being in a Church again. Sorry I know a church is a family of believers but part of me still sees a church as a building.

I like the priests and such at the new church (I wouldn’t have joined otherwise) but it is so big I feel lost in the shuffle. I know it isn’t the Churches fault but it is just so many people. I wanted to belong in a Church were I wasn’t a number I guess. I think that is why I am at this crossroads.

I think I would love to be Catholic- don’t get me wrong with that but it is appealing to go to a church were there is bible study and a small community. I’m not church hopping to go to a new church but to learn about religions I never learned about in my Catholic bubble. I was raised Catholic in a town where most people were Catholic. I knew no difference. I never had to be a minority and fight for my faith- if you know what I mean (like in the bible belt)

I was at Mass today and it was nice and framiliar but I think there is still a lot of pain I feel from all of the changes. I would love to be 100% happy as a Catholic and not feel like I will find community somewhere else like an episcopal church.

I love my Catholic faith but part of me wishes I had like a scripture study to help strengthen my faith again. I just wanted you all to know.

I went through similar ‘feelings’ when ministers kept changing, in my Protestant ‘small-town’ gospel church. It is a great ‘upheaval’ when these changes occur. New bonding has to take place. Often, there is a dramatic change in church membership. It shows that the rest of the congregation feels the same way.

I can tell that God is guiding you, as He did me. He is ‘forcing you into a corner’. Your alternatives, are being reduced by Him. Remember, He knows what He is doing. Go to Him in prayer, and ask for direction. Do not expect a ‘BICK’ answer. You will be taught ‘patience & obedience’. In my case, I prayed for about 10 years, as much as three times per day, for direction, wisdom, knowledge, understanding & experience. I wanted the truth. I stopped attending church, but read my Bible, and prayed a lot. I sought answers from God, Himself. Eventually, I got more answers, than I ever dreamed existed. I was shown errors being taught in the churches, and contained within several different Bibles. I stopped attending these same ‘Bible studies’ that you are searching for. I was shown that the ones that I personally attended, were nothing more than ‘jangling’…wannabe ‘teachers’.

God used the internet in my teachings as well. I did not know, at times, what to ‘search for’, and I would pray & wait. He always gave me the knowledge of what to type into the ‘google search box’. It was amazing. Go to Him in prayer. I guarantee you, that He will respond, in ways, that will astound you. He never responds in a way that you think He will. It sounds to me, that He may have a special purpose for you, as He had for me.

God bless you. :slight_smile:

I forgot to meantion. What really helps me stay true to the Catholic Faith is the Euchorist and the idea of God. and sooo much more The Catholic Church is soooo powerful.

True. I think I’m just going through a rough time since my dads diagnosis. I love the Catholic Church. I was in Mass today and there were 2 little girls in front of me. I knew that is what I wanted. A Catholic Family (if that makes sense). I don’t think I could ever leave the Catholic Church anymore there is too much truth to me.

I know what it is like to leave a church, yes the buildings are part of everyone’s faith.
I still love to drive by the churches I have attended, they are part of my faith history.
The people may be the church, but so many memories include the building history.

Never assume anything. When you go to God in search for your answers, let Him direct you. He will ‘open your eyes’ as never before. Be ready for Him to ‘tear down’ some of your current beliefs and ‘understandings’, that others have taught you. He will use His Word, rather than the teachings of others. There is only one religion in His eyes, at the moment. It is called ‘Christianity’ (followers of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ). Remember, Jesus is The Word in The Flesh. He has witnessed the truth of The Word, as has The Holy Ghost. He does not use ‘man’s’ interpretation of His Word. He provides you with the truth. :slight_smile:

You have good options within the Catholic church. With that theology degree, you could teach, within your own parish, or do what needs to be done to teach at a Catholic school. A bare minimum, lead a Bible study. Help with Bible study in RCIA. Something along those lines.

We had Bible study for 30 min. to start each RCIA class. The man who taught us has a PhD in theology and teaches at the University level. He had amazing knowledge, which was augmented by a lot of travel to the Mideast. He was a convert from Presbyterianism (years ago), and continues to sing in the Presbyterian choir, across the street from our church.

Mormonism dishes out “how to be Mormon”, a cookie cutter approach (sorry to Mormons but that is how I see it). Within the Catholic church, there are many paths, and no cookie cutter approach. Discern where God is leading you, but as a Deacon friend of mine said, it doesn’t take a year of discernment to volunteer to teach CCD. Just volunteer, as usually your parish is in need of volunteers.

Start one! The best way to learn is to teach, there are tons of resources out there now. Our church is exactly what you make of it, like the movie said, if you build it they will come!

My church has a Bible study…I love it…and I buy my own Bible study books and do scripture study on my own…


It is very normal to be reeling already with uncertainty after so much flux in your journey, but with the cancer issue and your father the first consistent thing you knew is in a state of flux as well. These things are difficult, to say the least, but they simply are in this life and this world. You are not alone. I suggest you stabilize your faith by offering up as much as you can in service to your father and your family at this time. Remember . . .celebrate, all of the things that make us human and families, including the joy, the memories and the worries and fears. Celebrate your faith together as you can, and celebrate in the worry and the sadness as well. Really LIVE it, Patty. Incarnate it with the Spirit of Christ. God Bless and Keep you, sistah’!:thumbsup:

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