my veiw of God

I suffer from clinical depression so I don’t know if it affects this thought.
I find that I am stuck on the old testament God. And I keep thinking that if I complain too much about a loved one that He will take them away from me. I just remember that my mom and dad use to argue a lot and cheating on her. She complained about him and eventually God took him. I remember that night, my mom was crying and saying I waned him gone but not like this. That is in my mind now. I feel guilty and I know He isn’t like that. It’s a vicious cycle. Help please.

God is Merciful.

Luke 18:1-8 Then he told them a parable about the need to pray continually and never lose heart. 'There was a judge in a certain town,'he said, ’ who had neither fear of God nor respect for anyone. In the same town there was also a widow who kept on coming to him and saying, “I want justice from you against my enemy!” For a long time he refused, but at last he said to himself, “Even though I have neither fear of God nor respect for any human person, I must give this widow her just rights since she keeps pestering me, or she will come and slap me in the face.” And the Lord said, ‘You notice what the unjust judge has to say? Now, will not God see justice done to his elect if they keep calling to him day and night even though he still delays to help them? I promise you, he will see justice done to them, and done speedily. But when the Son of man comes, will he find any faith on earth?’

Blessed is he said : "I am stuck on the old testament God. And I keep thinking that if I complain too much about a loved one that He will take them away from me."

Well, the obvious answer (but probably not the Best one) is : Whoever that particular Loved One is, do not complain about him (or her).
Just suffer silently (and maybe stick pins into a picture of him).

I would offer (for what it’s worth), that God has a lot things to do, and He would probably not allow ANOTHER person to die just from complaining about him.

It sounds to me that you are feeling Guilty about your Father’s death.
This is a very common thing to do.
Even though you were not the one arguing with him all the time, you WERE there, and maybe you could have done something …
This can easily turn into … you SHOULD HAVE done something.
And, then into . . . I did NOT do THAT something to save him, so it is my Fault.

If this is it, then at least you can SEE that you did NOT have a direct hand in the death of your Father.
Now, the “trick” is … find a way to FORGIVE yourself from whatever Guilt you feel.
Maybe share your pain with a trusted person : a Priest, a Nun, a favorite relative, a close friend, or a Therapist.
Maybe confess your guilt at Confession, or, confess it again.

In your Depressed state, you are actually thinking that you are VERY Powerful . . . death is at your beck-and-call.
And, with that Power comes Responsibility.
So, if anything happens, it is on your head.

I hope you can get Humble, and believe that God does not care THAT much if you Complain about someone or not.
(Yeah, but what happens AFTER he dies, right after I complain about him?) Good question.

Your depression concerns me. I know it’s no fun because I have it myself. The first thing you need to know is that God loves you no matter what happens or what you may say or do. Look to the New Testament to find the hope, love and support for today. I won’t try to get into a discussion about the difference between God’s stuff in teh Old Testament vs the New Tesatment. I’d only get myself and everyone else confused. Know that He loves you, and that there are people here willing to pray for you and support you in your need.

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You wrote: “…maybe stick pins into a picture of him.” That is not what the Lord would want us to do.
We can give the person to the Lord and pray for the best for him/her.

Dorothy writes about my Post : "You wrote: “…maybe stick pins into a picture of him.” That is not what the Lord would want us to do.
We can give the person to the Lord and pray for the best for him/her."

Yes, Dorothy, you are Correct.
I said it more as a joke (of sorts), to suggest something the OP would NOT want to do.

You can lightly say just to pray for them.
But, this is NOT the easiest thing to do, especially when the OP’s in the throes of Depression.

A Question for you : What do you mean by “give the person to the Lord”?

By “give the person to the Lord” I meant that you let Him reveal His love for them. This can be done every time one feels annoyed with someone. This way the focus is on the Lord and not on ourselves.

Glad you were kidding about sticking pins into a picture!

Ha Ha . . . . . . HEY people, don’t stick NO pins, OK?

OK Dorothy, you said : “By give the person to the Lord” I meant that you let Him reveal His love for them. … This way the focus is on the Lord and not on ourselves."

I (somehow) still cannot understand.
"you let Him reveal His love for them"
Here, I will restate it : I will Let Jesus reveal His love for the other annoying person.
So, do I have enough Power to make Jesus do something?
I am hung up on “Let” . . . because Jesus Christ does what Jesus Christ wants to do (it’s like He’s God or something). {tee hee}

Anyway, I would appreciate it if you would re-word your phrase there.

Life is a gift from God hiw long we live is given to us by God and while it is sad to loss someone dear to us we must know God is taking care of them. He does not take someone away because you complained about them but rather because it was there time

Our emotions and feelings are like little children who keep crying out and won’t be still. But the nice thing is, we, like a good parent, know what is best for our children and so we don’t give in to them for their own good.

It is easier to do good towards those who we feel are good to us. But then Jesus was slapped and tortured for those who were being unjust to him. For if we suffer only when we deserve to suffer, that is when we are guilty and deserve punishment, what good is there in that. What Jesus did, was suffer for those very people who put him to death in spite of being innocent. That is where the merit is, and the good that Jesus is talking about. Suffer because you are innocent, and offer that suffering as he did, for the good of others. There is your crown and what separates you from those who make their home in this world. As Jesus said, lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven.

I might suggest that you offer to Jesus at least part of your sufferings for the good of your parents. That is how those who follow Jesus identify themselves, by their love. Do this contrary to your feelings, and a weight will be lifted from your heart in time, and the peace of Jesus will be yours again.

And also give your life to your dear mother in heaven, Mary. She is so kind.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

Okay. I can pray that He reveal His love for that person. And, particularly it could be through me that He shows His love for them. I can do it with His grace, even thought I may not feel the emotion of love for that person.

Praying for you.

I guess I also look at the fact that a few days later my mom was going to file for divorce. I guess God wanted them to stay married. Thank you everyone. Peace.

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