My vocation is marriage. I am a stay-at-home wife and mother. I love my husband, children, home, everything. But I am struggling with an inward rebellion against my vocation because I am lonely. On days which my husband is home, and we work side-by-side, or even if he is just keeping me company while I work, I am productive and cheerful. But then the workweek begins, and I have the long week of workdays without companionship yawning before me, and I feel myself slipping into a stupor.
I do not know how to keep up. I feel lethargic and lazy. But most of all, I feel very lonely. It is the number one reason why I spend too much time at the computer. Internet forums and Facebook help me to not feel so lonely.
My house is messy. My routines are in shambles. I am not thriving.
I don’t know how to overcome this. I know part of it is needing a kick in the pants, because I need to grow up and accept that loneliness is part of my vocation, and do the lonely work anyway. It is not necessarily the physical demands of motherhood that is the problem. It is doing them in isolation, with no one to talk to, that is the problem. Sometimes I think I should just start talking out loud to the Blessed Virgin, just to stay sane. But then I would be doing what appears to be crazy, for the sake of sanity. :rolleyes::shrug:
So I hope someone can help me out. How do I deal with the loneliness and lethargy that afflict me to the point where I feel like I want to run away from my house screaming? How can I deal with the fact that my work feels like spinning my wheels, because every dish I wash will be washed later today and twice tomorrow, too? How do I discern how much work to do during the day before my husband gets home? Ideally, I would like to accomplish all the work before he arrives home, and have only errands and yard work to accomplish on Saturday. But I am inwardly rebelling at having to do every last little thing all by myself.
Help me out. Either with encouragement or a kick in the pants! Please? :o