My Vocation


Hello all, it has been a long time since I was on this forum. one reason I have been so busy with life and saving my house from the bank. Another reason is that I had that real bad experience with a job I really really wanted and I didn’t get it and hung my dirty laundry on this forum and kinda been embarrased. Well anyway on to another subject. I went to see the bishop for my diocese and a very nice bishop who gave me some time. I told him my story of my conversion and all what I went through with my discernment, He just came out and said I am not called. Today at Mass the homily started with the priest walking off the Altar and sat in the back, a few minutes went by and then suddenly he said “kinda empty up there isn’t it”? then he started with the shortage of priests and yada yada yada, of course I wanted to so badly say something but didn’t. Why is it so hard to even get to first base? The bishop didn’t even give me time to pray and a couple of meetings before just saying I am not called, the only real reason is my age, I hate my age with every passion but now I REALLY hate it. I am 39, if it takes me 8 years to be ordained and I live a normal life span say 80 that is 32 years from then, Our priest in one parish the one I usually go to is 83 and going strong. with an 8 year investment the church gets 30 plus years out of me, not too bad a return, besides I have read about men that get the call at 50 or older. I just don’t get it. I am confused frustrated and lost for words. Anyone else go through this?? and found a dioceses that finaly said yes well at least went further than a first meeting? Scoob.


Perhaps you aren’t really called? Remember a vocation is not something we’ve decided for ourselves… 'You have not chosen Me, I have chosen you" right?

Have you explored other options? The permanent diaconate, religious life, marriage perhaps?

Your brother in Christ,


I feel your frustration. I felt called to the religious life a few years after my husband died--but kept ignoring it because I wasn't even Catholic. Then I met my soulmate, and decided my 'calling' was to marry again. When my fiance died suddenly last year, I had a long time to think and pray and meditate, and have realized that the religious life is the direction in which God has been pulling me all along. However, I'll probably be in my mid-50s before my children are out of school and self-supporting, and most of the orders I've looked into have an age cutoff of anywhere from 35 to 50.

I'm afraid the Church still has the bizarre and ridiculous idea that us older folks don't take well to "adjusting to a new lifestyle" (an actual quote from one of the web sites explaining why orders have age limits). Now let's see...I was widowed young after buying a house/cars/etc. based on having 2 incomes to make payments...went to work full-time outside the home while raising 2 children alone...responsible for all the housework yardwork, etc...met the man of my dreams, planned a wedding and a life full of "happily ever after" that didn't happen...and I don't know how to adjust?? :rolleyes:

I think the Church is the one that has problems adjusting. Too stubborn/lazy/ignorant to change "the way we've ALWAYS done it!" all the while whining that it isn't working anymore.



I think the Church is the one that has problems adjusting. Too stubborn/lazy/ignorant to change "the way we've ALWAYS done it!" all the while whining that it isn't working anymore.


I totally agree. The priest was telling us that in some countries they have no priests and have a Eucharist service instead. I wanted to yell out and say so does our diocese!! the church that I usually go to has one every 4th Sunday. The priest that says Mass at that church is 83 years old and while he loves to say Mass and is always there by answering his phone when you call and willing to drive 50 miles to bless my house, He is still only one man and he can't bilocate and how much longer will he be able to serve this way? he already had a triple bypass and lost his voice for 6 months cause of the breathing tube that cut his vocal cord. We have a Deacon (thank God for Deacon Joe) to take up the slack. How many young older men like myself has the vocations director threw away because they didn't fit into a little compartmentalized container that fit their perception to what they feel are called never mind the fact that Jesus is much bigger than their opinions. I am probably not called but I still feel that tug and that desire when I go to Mass and so I don't know, I just was hoping to at least get past the first meeting and go to the next step like possibly a few more meetings with the bishop howabout I don't know maybe an invitation to a retreat or a visit to a seminary? maybe a week there to see if I am able to live that life or not? It isn't like there is a line out the door with seminarians. I feel unwanted I feel like an undesirable. I know they say God has other plans or he still loves me and all that happy dappy stuff, but it don't make the rejected feeling just magically go away. Anyway I hope that you get past first base with your call and I will pray for you. Thanks for your reply. Scoob.


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