I am considering divorcing my wife because she is constantly threatening to divorce me. She says, "I'm gonna divorce your a**", every time we get into a major argument. I told her that divorce is off the table, it should never be an option, and that none of our problems are irreconcilable.
The biggest issue by far is church. I am an Eastern Catholic and she is Roman. All throughout our courtship and engagement she went to my church. We got married there. Now that some people in my parish have made remarks to her that she found offensive, she never wants to return--ever. (She gets offended very easily and deeply and is not quick to forgive at all). Not even for Christmas or Easter. Now she's upset that I am continuing to attend. She says, "how can you go and say "hi" to the very people that have offended me?" I tell her, I don't go for the people, I go to worship God according to my heritage. And that I love the liturgical singing according to my rite.
She also says that if we ever have children, they will never be able to step foot in that church. I have been active in my parish for almost 20 years and have many friends there. So what, now, my friends will never get a chance to see my own children, including my pastor, with whom I have a close relationship?
I tried to work out a compromise with her. I told her I would attend my church, and then I would go with her to her roman church at noon, and if we had children, they would go to my parish once a month, and she would not have to go. No deal.
She claims that I put my parish above her. She is cutting me away from my spiritual heritage which is so dear to me. Now she wonders why I'm cold to her. I told her we need to agree to disagree: I'll support her not going to my parish, but she need to support me and understand why I will continue to go.
Anyway, I got tired of her constant threats to divorce. I think if she is so quick to jump to the word divorce we may not be validly married to begin with. And I don't want to give her the satisfaction of divorcing me after all the work I've been putting in my marriage. I offered to go to counseling, Retrouvaille, I bought 4 books on relationships, the Love Dare, all to no avail. She doesn't want to do them.
My shrink suspects that she has "narcissistic/borderline personality disorder." So does my pastor.