My wife thinks I'm leaving her behind


#21

I will. No, we do not pray together much. (See other responses).


#22

I often do, absolutely.


#23

It is a long shot, but it just might work!


#24

I saw those after I posted. Thought - did she take more of the religious lead previously? Maybe she is feeling left out with your new enthusiasm and is waiting for you to invite her to join in your enthusiasm together.


#25

That sounds like a beautiful idea! It also shows humility to your wife for asking her to teach you, in would help lessen the idea she has that you think yourself superior. St. Padre Pio called the rosary “the weapon” as a testemant to how powerful the prayer is.

Google “The Fifteen Promises of the Rosary.” One of them is “peace shall reign in your homes.” They are encouraging to say the least!


#26

The Catholic Church grants indulgences for the use of a scapular. Odd that she did not know.


#27

Yes, she was the go to person whenever I had a question or needed clarification during mass, etc. .


#28

It sounds great, thanks!


#29

Yes, I agree.


#30

I don’t have all the facts, but I get the impression she may feel left out. How often do you talk about the faith together or share what you have learned? Maybe if you work to journey together, she may be more receptive. God Bless.


#31

As a catechist, she might appreciate the following


#32

You have the freedom, but in your own thread title you say she thinks you’re “leaving her behind.” Further down thread you say you are trying to make sure you get to heaven to see your dad. I’d be pretty sad if my husband wasn’t trying to take me with him to heaven.


#33

I was going to mention this " leaving her behind".
And then I thought that it is better not to frame any of this path as a competition or in any terms of competition,because it is not. Unvoluntarily,I mean…
No " elite",no " inferior" or " superior ".
Beneath the same Mantle…together.


#34

I agree with the sentiment many have shared already. And it’s hard to see all the nuances of a relationship from one post, nonetheless here are my to 2¢.

It seems your wife has been practising in the faith regularly throughout your marriage. Your father died, which called you back into the folds of the church as you wish to join him in heaven.

The fact you use the words “leaving your wife behind”, shows that there seems to be a fairly large communication and also faith sharing barrier.

My husband is, for instance, not Catholic but I don’t even “leave him behind”—I share everything with him. He comes to Mass, he shows interest in what I show interest in, he stands by me when I go through faith struggles. He participates in my life.

No one should feel left out, or behind. If you are both living out your faith so separately, and becoming distant, that’s not actually meant to be happening.

I’d strongly suggest sitting down and taking stock. We should be living out together, as a community and especially in a marriage. This doesn’t mean liking the same expressions of faith, but it sure doesn’t mean leaving the other behind.


#35

My take on this is a bit different. Is your wife used to having control over you? Is she upset because you had the temerity to make a decision alone?

I think you should be praying together everyday.

Most likely, she may be worried you’ll become a fundamentalist Catholic, or basically, different from her.


#36

Define Fundamentalist Catholic. People are throwing around many labels on CAF lately…


#37

However his wife defines it. Basically, somebody who is a far-gone Catholic. For me, that would be somebody who gets excited about relics, Medjegoria, the Brown scapular, stating a common-law couple should live in separate houses before getting married, as opposed to just living chastely, things like that.


#38

Seems like a normal Catholic then :man_shrugging:t2:


#39

If she wasn’t raised with the Scapular devotion, she may think it odd, or perhaps think that people should be reading the Bible more and turning to private revelations less. Or she may associate it with little old ethnic grandmas and not with modern husbands.

There were entire generations of Catholics who were not raised with such devotions because they didn’t have any pre-Vatican II Catholics hanging around to show them, and the priests in the 70s and 80s sure weren’t pushing the Brown Scapular (or the Miraculous Medal or the Rosary etc.)

She may even worry that her husband is getting too deep into superstition rather than simply trusting in God.

No way to know without the husband conversing with her.


#40

image

Let me get out my book of Indulgences :nerd_face:


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