Posted same basic question in Ask an Apologist Forum
First a little history: My wife and I checked into getting married in the Catholic church 13 years ago. We had both been raised in the Catholic church (both received first communion), although my wife’s mother was a Southern Baptist, so she attended that church as well growing up. My wife had been married twice before before, first in the Baptist church, and then in a civil ceremony. Her first marriage ended in divorce due to her husband being unfaithful and giving her a venereal disease. Her second marriage ended when her husband told her he thought he was gay, and was considering killing her and himself.
We both wanted to be confirmed then married in the Catholic church, but we were erroneously told that she could not get an annulment for the marriages, so we were married in a civil ceremony, and later confirmed in the Catholic church.
Now thirteen years later she tells me she is no longer in love with me and wants to be divorced. We went to our Priest, and because we weren’t married in the Catholic church, he said that there is no marriage and that she is free to get an annulment for all marriages and to marry the guy she has fallen in love with.
I realize that we were not married in the Catholic church, but we are both Catholic and we both agreed when we married that we had made a covenant with God to be married. I have since found out that my Priest had been married before, and had received an annulment that allowed him to become a Priest. I am wondering if this could have played a role in his nonchalance about our thirteen year marriage.
What is the Catholic churches stand on this situation? And doesn’t the word of God in the bible state that “God hates divorce”? Does not the bible state also that the only grounds for divorce is adultery, and even then only if the offended party wants to divorce? Are there scriptural grounds for divorce?
My wife claims that there are, saying that I broke our vows by being distant and not “loving her as I love myself”. Also because we were not sleeping together (because my snoring kept her up and I refused to do anything about it).
I no longer know what to believe.