My wife wants to divorce me


#1

my wife and i were both raised baptist but could actually care less about christianity while we were growing up. she got married, then divorced. we then had a baby out of wedlock. a year later we were married because that’s what the preacher said would be the christian thing to do. when my boy was born however i started reading on catholic beliefs and realized i was actually catholic. that took another 2 years to come to completion when i finally converted. we were actually suppose to convert together but she found faults with some church teachings. anyway, she doesn’t understand that she needs an annulment. needless to say, i won’t have relations with her, and also my view on condoms have changed which is a major factor in all this, which is driving her up the wall. she feels that since it wasn’t a problem that she was divorced when we got married, it shouldn’t be a problem now. i can’t seem to get through to her that this is important to me. she thinks it’s “silly” and “stupid” even though she has said numerous times before she would get one. she actually saw the man who does them for the parishes around here. well, long story short she told me this morning that if i don’t change my stance she will leave me. i also admit that when i first converted and ignorant on the seriousness of an annulment we did have relations. anyhow, i love her very much, and along with our son they mean everything to me. i’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. if i choose my wife i lose Jesus and vice versa. i need and appreciate all the prayers on this.


#2

i should maybe add that when she told me she would divorce me i said i didn’t want to, i think it’s ****** we can’t work through this, but i’m scared she will leave me. i don’t want to be divorced. i want to help raise our child together.


#3

Good luck my friend and brother in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever. Amen.


#4

Praying for your marriage…

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever. Amen.



#5

Maybe you could try writing her a letter, explaining to her why its important to you? I know that when me and my boyfriend get in fights especially about religion I am not able to say much because he finds error in what I say pretty quickly.
I think a letter would be a good way of expressing to her why you feel this way, and maybe even tell her why you love her etc.
I hope everything works out for you and your family.


#6

occupant, you and your wife are in my prayer


#7

*occupant, it is hard when faith/beliefs come between a couple. It’s a shame she is not on the same page, I pray that God will enlighten her, and through His grace, help her to do the right thing so you both can have a happy marriage.

God bless. Prayers for you. *


#8

Dear Lord, please enter into this marriage and become the bond between this couple. Grant them both the desire to do Your will and honor their marriage vows. Help occupant’s wife to understand the importance of this relationship, especially to their son. In Jesus name we pray.


#9

Occupant (OP) said:

we then had a baby out of wedlock. a year later we were married because that’s what the preacher said would be the christian thing to do…I finally converted… needless to say, i won’t have relations with her… i also admit that when i first converted and ignorant on the seriousness of an annulment we did have relations. anyhow, i love her very much, and along with our son they mean everything to me… if i choose my wife i lose Jesus and vice versa

What is the matter with you people? All you can do is pray that his wife comes around? What about him? Who changed here? It apparently was okay for him to have sexual relations before they were married, and before he became Catholic, but it is not okay once he converted? What kind of marriage is that?? What kind of religion is that??

Occupant: When you went through the RCIA or whatever program, did you not tell anyone about your situation and get guidance then?

Why do you think you can unilaterally change the rules (that you both agreed to before God) in the middle of the game? Your wife should be punished and your marriage threatened because of your conversion? If that is the way you feel, she should run for the door and not look back!

And as far as choosing your wife or choosing Jesus, why do you have to even make that choice? Do you really think Jesus would require you to do that? That makes no sense at all!

My advice to you, Occupant, is to re-think what you are saying and what you are doing. I would suggest you and your wife get some counseling, both outside the church and within the church. Find out what her issues are, and what can be done to make the marriage work. If she doesn’t want to become Catholic now, perhaps she can come to understand the importance to you and the Church of getting an annulment, and that it doesn’t require her to convert. First, get back your wife and child, and your marriage. Then work on the faith issues.

And I will pray for you, and anyone else who has to deal with this kind of insanity.

This is a prime example of why people leave the Catholic Church (and why some, like Occupant’s wife, don’t want to become Catholic).


#10

here’s the thing. i believe what the Catholic Church teaches and knows it cannot teach error. i can’t say that for the baptist faith. so, if i choose to believe and live what the CC teaches, i am choosing Jesus Christ. and yes, i do believe He wants us to make the choice. he even said that the ones who lose their house and/or family would recieve one hundredfold and ever lasting life.
how many different things in the gospels did people believe and Christ had to come in and say “hold up! that’s not completely right.” same thing with my situation.
i did tell the priest about my situation, knew a couple that was going through the same thing. also, like i said, my wife was going to convert earlier but since she didn’t agree on some teachings she left, just like the disciples that left Christ when he talked about eating His flesh.


#11

But you can’t just stop having relations with your wife over this? You have gone off the deep end here. You say Jesus wants you to make these choices; did He ever say anything about marriage, and two becoming one? How does that fit in with your idea that you should destroy a marriage and family over a personal faith decision?

You say you told a priest, but not what the priest said. I hope to Heaven he didn’t tell you to stop having marital relations with your own wife!


#12

Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#13

Lord, please help occupant always to be faithful to you. May he always put you before everything and everyone else that exists; may he never turn his back on you. I’m not even sure occupant is even legally married to his wife seeing she was married before and her husband is still alive. Help him to meet with a good priest to discuss his situation. Thank you, Lord. Amen.


#14

Oh I will keep you in my prayers too and she if she won’t speak with a good Priest with you about this, she sounds confused and when it is all explained to her, she may be relieved and thankful and convert afterall. (I will pray for that.)


#15

I hope it all works out for you and your wife and for your child. Divorce is not the way to go. I am speaking pratically here and not religiously, because I am not qualified. Finding out on your journey that you had and have catholic beliefs is remarkable and you are blessed. However this is your second journey and your half way home. It is good that you found your way, but injecting this into your marriage 2 years, after your married is obviously going to be difficult. Ideally if you would have converted together it would have made the ride less bumpy.

I believe that sometimes a go-between can be more helpful at this time. A priest, pastor, a therapist, a trusted mutual friend might help explain your feelings. Your wife may not feel you are speaking from your heart. It is not that she does not believe you but this may be all too much at one time. You embarked and completed your journey to catholocism, and she has not packed a bag yet, if you know what I mean.

Please do not make this a choice between Jesus and your wife because it is not fair to both and it’s not fair to yourself. Trust in the Lord dude, you can do this. Be as kind and humble as you can. Sometimes you can suprise yourself. There are only solutions if you try.


#16

praying


#17

Holy Apostles please pray for this painful and confusing dilemma to resolve

Dear Apostles of Jesus, many of us experience crucifixion in our lives and in the lives of dear ones, as you did. Please pray for us and guide us, so that if loss and pain engulfs others’ lives or our own, we will continue to pray and evangelise.

You were His chosen companions. Your hearts were broken and your lives shattered by the terrible betrayal and death of your great hope Jesus. He had preached love and faith; He had preached the Kingdom to which He claimed all persons are called. Defeated and disgraced with no more honour than the vilest criminal, He was tortured, executed and buried.

His words and acts now meant nothing, as all of you—except John—scattered and hid to avoid a similar fate. Disillusioned, you wondered if the last few years were a shameful mistake. Were you betrayed by your discipleship to this condemned man?

Poor men, how could you reconcile the terrible events of this Passover with the Son of God, the Saviour whom you had believed Jesus to be! How could this disgrace, loss, and failure be the end to which He, and possibly yourselves, could be destined!

Peter, you, His appointed one, denied even an acquaintanceship with Him. How great your shock and your disillusionment when the full realisation of your perfidy assailed you!
Only John returned to stand beneath the cross with the grieving women. Beloved John! Shaking with grief and shock, you stood there, gutted by the unbelievable tragedy unfolding before you. Faith and love supported you, yet did you not experience the same terrible emptiness and loss as your fellow apostles and other disciples?

Dear Apostles, throughout the ages, countless individuals experience in some way the crucifixion of a loved one, or of themselves, and the consequent challenge to hope and faith. They may feel emptiness, or loss of zeal. They may lose all trust in the living, merciful God.

Pray for them, for us, that in such periods we may be faithful, regardless of broken heart and anguish of spirit. Pray that we may be restored to hope, to trust, to prayer, to active service of love in the Kingdom. Intercede for such resurrection in us. Implore the Holy Spirit to come and restore our spirits, making us true apostles of Jesus. Pray that we become evangelists, enabling the Spirit to draw others into the Kingdom of God.

Thank you, Apostles of Jesus, whose weaknesses mirror our weakness, and whose restored faith, zeal, and courage, inspire us. Pray for us who are your sisters and brothers throughout the ages. Share your blessings with us. Pray that we shall receive in fullness those precious gifts of His love that He longs for us to share and distribute.

Obtain that we honour and delight our God with all heart and strength. Then, when at last our souls rise to join yours, we shall enjoy eternity at your side, honouring and loving the great Son of God, whom we once betrayed out of our fear and selfishness or in our disillusionment and distress. 1999


#18

For you and for your wife, asking God’s merciful healing.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now ,
and at the hour of our death. Amen


#19

Lord have mercy. Please comfort and heal this husband, and grant conversion to his wife. Let Your will be done.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen


#20

I ask God to hear and grant your prayers in whatever way is best.

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come,
Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now
and at the hour of our death. Amen


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