Hello all. Let us just say and pretend that a friend of mine, who will be referred to as he/she, fears that his/her past suicide attempt may ruin her chances of joining the Navy. However, he/she is unsure if her “attempt” actually accounts as a suicide attempt. She/he is also unsure if this is something that should be brought up on his/her recruitment interview.
We were doing some college assignments one day and talking about our plans of the future when he/she decided to admit this to me. She/he said that there was a time in her life she tried to hang his/her self. This was back when he/she was in the middle high school. She/he was supposed to drive with his/her mom to the hospital and pick up his/her father who had just recovered from a serious surgery. Because, she/he felt that she/he was lacking sleep, she/he asked her/his sibling to escort their mother in the morning to pick up their dad so that he/she could sleep in. The sibling agreed. The next morning, she/he was unexpectedly woken up by his/her mother. The sibling did not wake up when the sibling was supposed to. The mother, not knowing of the agreement between him/her and the sibling, got really disappointed and said “I am disappointed in you” to her/he. The mother then decided to pick up the father alone. She/he felt so ashamed at what had happened. She/he just felt really bad for not taking sacrificing a little bit of sleep just to go help his/her mother pick up his/her ailing father. So, while the mother was away and the sibling was doing things upstairs, she/he made a make-shift noose composed of power cables in the garage. She/he honestly felt at the time that it was better for everyone if she/he just died. She/he said she did not even care if God disapproved of this. She/he also believed God would understand. But, after hesitating to hang herself for quite some time, it was fear of death that convinced her to stop. She/he did not get injured in the slightest as she/he did not even pull out the chair beneath him/her and she/he did not lean his/her neck against the cable wires hard enough. She/he just sat at the backyard until his/her parents came home. Everyone was oblivious to what he/she was doing and there were no medical records as there were no injuries and only she/he knew about it.
He/she also mentioned a time when his/her father was so angry at him/her. This was before the hanging incident This was when the father was helping him/her to get a driver’s license. She/he described the father as being really hard on him/her. When no one else was in the kitchen, she/he picked up a steak knife and held it (and mentioned rubbing the sharp edge of it) on her/his wrist. She/he stopped herself though and there was no injury. No one else knew of it.
She/he also remembered a time when he/she was like five years old. The mother, for whatever reason, was strictly counseling her/he while they were at Chuck E. Cheese’s. On the drive home, she/he unfastened her seat belt in hopes that he/she would get seriously harmed in an accident. She/he wanted this to happen so as to get back at his/her mother. They got back home safe and sound and no one but him/her was the wiser.
But, since the hanging incident, she/he had never seriously contemplated suicide, she/tells me. Of course, there were days when she/he was under a lot of stress and was lacking sleep and the thought did pass her/his mind, but those thoughts do not linger for long, she/he tells me. Even when her/his passing thoughts tell her to kill his/her self so as to get back at the people who wronged him/her or to “help a sinner realize the error of their ways” (she/he probably means that she/he wants to convince a sinner of how that person’s sins are negatively affecting him/her), she/he combats it with her Catholic morals saying that “I will not do evil in the name of good. I will stay strong and alive and be a good example to others instead of taking my own life in hopes that they will turn from their evil ways” or something along the lines of that.
She/he does not socialize with others much, but I figure that is because he/she is reserved. She/he seems very content when we are doing video games or watching YouTube videos together.