Near occasion of sin and scandal?


what does this all mean?

and why does everyone always go around assuming the worst?

for example, i have a lot of male friends and i find people are always assuming im dating one just because they see a guy and girl having a conversation. drives me crazy.

or what about co-ed roommates? men and women can live in the same house without anything happening. Jesus lived at several female houses in his day and didn’t care what people thought of him.

i’m a little confused as to why cohabitation is a sin. it is possible that a bf anf gf can live under the same roof and have separate rooms and be respectful without anything happening thought i guess it would be harder if they are attracted to each other.

but why are we so concerned with scandal if we know we’re not doing anything wrong? from my experience, people can find scandal with every little thing. in fact these days, even if you are dating someone, people will still assuming you’re sleeping together even if you don’t lie together.

i’m not really in most of these situations, was just wondering. thanks


Is it possible? Yes? Is it likely or likely to remain that way? No.

Modern Catholic Dictionary:

SCANDAL. Any action or its omission, not necessarily sinful in itself, that is likely to induce another to do something morally wrong. Direct scandal, also called diabolical, has the deliberate intention to induce another to sin. In indirect scandal a person does something that he or she foresees will at least likely lead another to commit sin, but this is rather tolerated than positively desired. (Etym. Latin scandalum, stumbling block.)


I don’t think cohabitation is a sin, provided they are living together as boyfriend and girlfriend. The problem comes when they cross the line, be it by thought or action, which typically, is shortly afterwards.

Although, even if they can achieve that, it gives a bad example to people, especially the young.

Well, it used to be here that both in Mexico, and the US, it was pretty much unheard of for young unmarried men and women to be living together like that. It was considered highly inappropriate and with good reason.

We just have had some people on the forum who said that they would just like to nap together, but do nothing more. What do you think? Somebody wrote back that if it were a movie, we’d already know what the next scene would be…with the in-laws coming!


Although, this is a joke, this happens more than you think. It’s very typical for people to be under the influence of hormones. Young people, especially, don’t even have their cerebral corteces developed yet (controls judgement). I look back at my own life and honestly have a lot of regrets, can’t even believe I did some of the stuff I did!

In olden times, people were wiser. They didn’t put young men and women together in all these coed situations and expect nothing to happen! In those times, there were chaperones. Young people were discouraged from being in mixed company, alone.

There was what was proper, respectful, and people tried to have a good reputation. Reputation was considered so important. Shakespeare once said that he’d rather someone stole his purse than take his good name!

Now, we have all kinds of people living together before marriage. In fact, it seems most live together, often never getting married…with sometimes multiple pregnancies…abortions, sexually-transmitted diseases, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, teen and single parents.

I know we think the olden times people were foolish. Well, what I would say to you is that which time period seemed to have more success with dealing with these matters? Did we have fewer single mothers, abortions, out-of-wedlock pregnancies, sexually-transmitted diseases before/after with the chaperones…and when divided activities by gender. or when we had everything coed and acceptable?

When we have young people watching others all sleep together outside of marriage, they often choose to do the same. When it wasn’t permitted, they, likewise, often followed suit. People learn from watching…imitation. We model after parents, family, movies, society. That’s why it’s important to be good examples.

In fact, the BEST way to teach is to lead by example. It’s sinful to be a bad example to others in teaching others, innocent people, how to sin.


i know there are some good points. i just don’t believe that males and females can’t just be friends; i know they can and i’ve doen it many times. like i said, i’m involved in sports so i have quite a few male friends and they are more like my brothers than anything else. but of course, there are always people assuming someone is your boyfriend just because you’re talking to a guy. i think there needs to be more balance, if you know what i mean. yeah, just throwing a bunch of teenagers together without teaching them any lessons is probably not a great idea, but i don’t think strict segragation is necessary either.

living together aside, what other activities are bad? what about school? church groups? sports? workplaces? where do we draw the line. just so you know, i mainly agree about the living together part, if i were to get a roommate, my preference would be a female and only a male if i had absolutely no other alternative. was just wondering about the other stuff.


Great question.

Cohabitation is not inherently sinful. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that living in the same house with somebody of the opposite gender is a sin.

However, it’s unwise, because of the fact that many people are easily susceptible to temptation.

Sleeping in the same room is especially wrong (not because it’s inherently wrong or sinful), but because being alone with somebody else of the opposite gender creates temptation, and I would argue that knowingly putting yourself in a situation where you would be faced with temptation, is sinful.


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