So I used to like to watch certain people on YouTube. One of them specifically says pretty crude and vulgar stuff every once in a while in his videos, but that is not a near occasion of sin for me. The reason I used to watch him is because I thinks he says and does hilarious stuff, in my opinion. I do have quite crude humor to a certain extent, I admit.
I do struggle with three things: Lust, jealousy and scruples. And that’s what’s making things hard for me. See, there are moments where girls in his videos may cause temptations of lust for me. So my question here is: Would I commit a sin if I would continue to watch his videos? The reason I watch them is simply because I find him funny most of the time, not because I actually want to sin.
There are also another person on YouTube, a woman who plays the violin, which is very talented. I used to enjoy her music videos as well, but recently I have started to feel envy/jealousy towards her, which renders me unable to watch or listen to her music anymore, even though I don’t actually want to feel envious. Would it be a sin for me to watch her videos despite this?
This may not seem to be a big deal if I stop to watch things on YouTube which I used to enjoy, but I still think it’s a big bummer that my own struggles hinders me this much. YouTube used to be a big recreational source for me, much like music or video games. Furthermore, I don’t know if it’s just scruples kicking in or if I am over thinking stuff, which is frustrating in itself. I have trouble discerning these things.
Of course, if it is sinful for me, then I will have to give it up. I just want to figure these things out first. Reading what I just wrote makes me realize it’s probably better just to give it up, I just want to hear your thoughts first.