I have a very easy time feeling inadequate in the areas in which I am weak. I am not well-rounded mechanically and am horrible at basic household repairs. This of course, leads to easy frustration. I am not a skilled professional, my job is very basic. I really cannot afford to hire anyone, so when I do it myself, watch out, because I’m miserable when I mess up. I know the main problem is my pride. Concerned about what others are thinking, I add fuel to the fire. I have physical limitations that prevent me from accomplishing things in a timely manner that often puts projects on hold. It drives me nuts when added to not knowing what I’m doing! How do I get over this? I don’t want to use my limitations as an excuse, but I beat myself up when I cannot perform at the same level as others. How do I get over these assumed opinions of what others may think? I feel like I’m always a step behind my neighbors and family. I am a hard worker when it comes to things I have confidence in doing, but nothing causes me more frustration when I try to take on new projects and mess up. It’s one thing for me when I read up on how to do something, and quite another when it comes to doing it. This re-occuring problem puts a hamper on my ability to love myself and others. Do I accept myself as I am? Is it worth it to hire others? How do I love in difficult moments? What do you recommend?
You sound like me. I get upset with myself when I can’t do things I’d really like to do, as well.
The great Catholic writer, G. K. Chesterton once wrote: “Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly.” What he was referring to was singing lullabyes to children or constructing play theaters or painting for one’s own amusement. Not everything has to be perfect according to professional standards since most of us aren’t professionals at much of anything, not even professionals.
Only if something might be dangerous, such as shoring up a sagging floor or putting in a water heater or gas furnace and things of that nature should we feel the need to call in someone who knows what he is doing. Otherwise, cut your lawn as you like, bake cookies/cakes/pies to your liking, wear what you feel comfortable in, and forget about what others think. Live life in the love of God and appreciation for all he’s given us, and love others as he as loved us and you can’t go wrong.
I suggest you focus on and become more grateful for the talents you undoubtedly have instead of obessing over what you can’t do well. I’m married to a man who doesn’t have a mechanical, handy or Mr. Fixit bone in his body. He hates yard work and knows nothing about auto maintenance or repair. Fortunately, he is very successful in his chosen field and I have long since given up the notion of the two of us having “fun” working on a home improvement/gardening project together or that he would “become” handy. I simply hire out the projects I need done around the house.
my point of view is its better to try and fail then to not try at all. hang in there and one day you will surprise yourself. we all have gifts. keep trying you will find yours. sometimes just look at yourself and say thankyou God for making me who i am and use me as you please. He will too. Dont be a different person be you, just remember you are here for a reason and GOD made you the way you are and he must be happy with you because remember he is perfect. and he dont make mistakes. give yourself a break tommorow is another day. think of what you can do instead of what you cant. hang in there
Yes, please accept yourself as you are. We all have our limitations and we all have God given talents, we all receive the Gifts of the Holy Spirit at Confirmation. So what if you aren’t a good handy-man, you are likely wonderful at something else. Personally, I can’t sit still in adoration and I admire those who have a talent of sustained prayer.
As to your problem with projects-- make friends with the handiest man in the neighborhood. Often, these guys love doing project even at other people’s houses!
Invite them to come over, bring their favorite tools, and show you how to do your projects-- give them a cold beer and some pizza… and they’ll be in heaven. Really.
It may help you to be up front with the fact that you aren’t good at fixing things. Put it out there and say, “I’m not very good at this, can you help me?” Then you won’t have to worry about disappointing anyone, including yourself.