Need a miracle


#1

Hi everyone. I did not want to post this in the thread I started, When it is too much, because it is so long and this needs a lot of emergency prayer.

You can read, “when it is too much” if you want details of the legal case of my sister, Norma, but I will only tell of new events.

We thought all this was over on November 7, even thought I felt deep inside it wasn’t. My sister who is a single mom and believes her children are mentally and verbally abused at her dad’s when they are over there tried to protect them in the summer and following the advice of her attorney, kept the children from her ex in the summer. She was found in contempt due to a poor lawyer she had. My ex BIL told the judge that he agreed with a psychologist for his kids, but not the one who was about to testify and who he stopped from seeing his children. He silenced her in court for she needs both parents to testify on the child’s therapy and he did not give it.

Now something new. My ex BIL’s attorney are saying that the judge ruled unfairly, even though it was on his favor, because he wants Norma to be incarcerated and declared insane. My sister’s attorney called my sister and said she wanted to respond fast before it went into appeal. She stated Florida Statute law 57.105 and said the attorneys are being ridiculus. I don’t know what to think anymore.

My sister could still go to prison for protecting her children. They are so depressed now that my niece doesn’t talk about things over there anymore. She knows nothing can be done. She is actually feeling sorry for her dad because his new wife is the real problem here and abuses him. She said he does everything and she sits on her butt. My nephew tells me that the household at his dad’s is “an angry one.” He said his step mom is always yelling at someone. It is sad and the kids feel hopeless. I don’t know what could be done anymore. If this goes to appeal another Judge will rule and my sister could lose her kids for they are saying that they are the better family for the kids because they are a happy home and have both a father and mother for the kids.

I am so discourage. I was thinking of doing something but wanted to see your opinion. I found my ex bil’s wifes’ ex husbands phone number. Would you call them to see what kid of a woman this woman really is? She doesn’t sound normal at all. She is very mean in words and very mean to my sister. She is the one to respond to the emails my sister writes to her ex, by court order, and is mean in them. I know this for he tells her one thing on the phone in their conversation and then states the opposite in the emails. It is driving my sister crazy.

Would you call the ex’s of the new wife? And please pray for Norma and her children, Marissa (soon to be 10) and Luis ( soon to be 7).


#2

Of course she is in my prayers as is the entire family.

I would ask myself what I would hope to be the result of involving the ex-husband of the ex BIL’s new wife.

If your sister gets one thing over the telephone and another in emails why is she still using both forms of communication? Perhaps she should only use emails, print them out and keep both the hard copies as well as what will exist in cyber space forever.

It is just an idea. I don’t know what you hope will happen if you speak the the new wife’s ex and I think you might want to be really clear on that before you make the telephone call. If all that happens is he agrees with you that she is a horrible person that might mean NOTHING in terms of the legal case.


#3

PRAYER FOR ASKING GRACES THROUGH THE INTERCESSION
OF THE SERVANT OF GOD THE POPE JOHN PAUL II

**O Blessed Trinity
We thank You for having graced the Church
with Pope John Paul II
and for allowing the tenderness of your Fatherly care,
the glory of the cross of Christ,
and the splendor of the Holy Spirit,
to shine through him.
Trusting fully in Your infinite mercy
and in the maternal intercession of Mary,
he has given us a living image of Jesus the Good Shepherd,
and has shown us that holiness
is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life
and is the way of achieving eternal communion with you.
Grant us, by his intercession, and according to Your will,
the graces we implore,
hoping that he will soon be numbered
among your saints.
Amen.
**


#4

He is the one that calls her for he doesn’t pick up her calls at all. When he called this last Tuesday, he asked if he could have the kids after school on Friday the 15th for it was the start of the Christmas vacation and a half of day of school. He asked to have them on this day to celebrate his daughter’s birthday that day. She was fine with it and told him okay and he even said that he would bring them to her on Saturday morning. He thanked her for working with him and hung up. She did address the lack of paying child support and he said he has no money for they are trying to open the daycare.

In the email that he sent yesterday, he said that he would be having the kids Friday the 15th after school and keeping them the entire weekend for it was his weekend and he had made plans two weeks ago for this weekend. He didn’t mention this on the phone with her when they spoke. If you ask why did she accept the call, he called during one of the children’s Christmas musical and she thought it had to do with them or that he wanted to speak to one of the kids. When you are divorced and have to share the kids holiday vacation it is to be shared equally and whoevers weekend it was doesn’t count. He pulled this on her when a school vacation fell on my sister’s weekend, he told her in an email that weekends don’t count in the kids vacation time that it is to be split equally, and now he is doing this. I don’t understand him except that he is insane. Also, he doesn’t respond all the time to the emails and leaves her hanging on what to do about the kids and if she keeps them and he doesn’t agree, he could find her in contempt again and this time she could go to prison.

My entire family during the Christmas Shows of the kids was nice to him. He asked to speak to me and asked about my husband who was recently hospitalized. He said my niece, Marissa, cried and cried that her uncle was in the hospital. I was about to ask him why he did not let her call him or me during the weekend for it was his weekend. I asked my niece why if she cried she did not call me and she said what I knew, that they would not let her. She can’t even call her mother which is wrong and he is in contempt for that. He doesn’t give them privacy and so Marissa will at times try to call when they are not home and she can talk to her mother without asking and openly. This is against the divorce papers also in which it states that they are to be allowed to converse with the parent that doesn’t have them at the time without supervision and be allowed to call as often as they want.

There is so much going on that it is so sad that the kids are ignored by the court system and the child protective services that see how nice these two cops act in front of them. We can’t win to protect the kids.

Why do I want to talk to the ex’s of the new wife? To see if she has any mental issues or ever abused her children up North in New York where she lived. Apparently, her children have bruises on them according to my niece, or at least the 9 year old does. Where are the fathers of these kids and why are they not involved in visitation of them? According to my niece, the second daughter was told by her mother that she doesn’t know who her dad is. The youngest, the 9 yr. old, wants to live with her dad. When she was asked by my niece why has she not mentioned this to her dad, who is also a cop, she said her mom is always around and doesn’t give them privacy. So he must has supervised visitations once a month. I don’t know for sure. I do know they are punished if they mention to their mother that they rather live with their dad then their mom. The oldest dad lives in New York and so can’t live with her dad and I don’t know why he doesn’t have visitation unless he doesn’t care.


#5

Thank you for this prayer. You know what is interesting is that I was thinking about asking the Pope’s intercession in this case. I will for sure now. Thanks.


#6

I will keep your sister in my prayers. I am having a lot of the same problems, just tonight in fact, with my husband causing problems by ignoring and not answering emails, trying to force me on to the telephone. I know I can’t talk to him because all he wants to do is threaten and insult me. He is just making the times that he picks up the kids very difficult by not showing up on time and not being willing to take the kids on their extracurricular activities. For your sister’s sake, she needs to be really firm about not talking to him.

I would definitely NOT call your ex-BIL’s wife’s ex-husband. That will get her nowhere. However, I do think that her ex-husband’s vindictiveness in this situation will come back to bite him in the end. It just shows his mean-spirited punitive attitude. I hope that your sister is still going to counseling so that she can stay strong and focused and not let this ex get her down. She just needs to focus on following court orders and being a good mom to her kids, and it will work out in the end. She just can’t let this ex destabalize her. I am sure the judge will see his abusive and vindictive behavior for what it is.


#7

Wow, I knew you were having problems as well, but these two ex’s sound a lot a like. I won’t call the ex-bil’s wife’s ex’s, but the person behind my sister’s ex’s behavior is the new wife. She is a very mean person. I don’t know what state you are in, but here the Florida Bar Association gives out a pamphet on Shared Parenting and inside one of the topics is “when it won’t work” referring to shared parenting. This is what it says,
“When there is child abuse, family violence, or continuous parental conflict, the court may find that shared parenting would be harmful to the children. In such a case, the court may order sole parental responsibility, where only one parent makes decisions regarding the children.” It even talks about moral issues being a problem also and how the court may consider this also. My ex BIL also doesn’t take part in his children extracurricular activities also. My niece was in Brownies since pre-k and as had the same troop all these years. This year they moved up to the green and are Girl Scouts. She is not doing it this year for her father made a comment that he did not want to stick around after picking up her brother after school and wait for her for one hour. This made her very sad. She still has a hard time forgiving him for forgeting her First Communion. He said he forgot and over slept.

But my sister and her ex rarely communicate. I don’t know how you and your ex decide the split of school vacation, but that is where they disagree so much. He wants Christmas Day and New Years Eve and Day. I believe to him it is not a big deal and that is why on the phone he agrees, but when his new wife finds out, she writes an email using his name and disagrees with what was agreed upon. We have no way to prove that it is her writing the emails, except to say that his English grammar is very poor and his spelling, and the person writing the emails is very well versed in the grammar.

Thanks for your prayers and I will keep you and your children in my prayers. I will pray for all children going through their parents divorce.

You mentioned that my sister needs to stay in counseling. She is completely without money. She is a full time student and lives in a house that belongs to my parents so it is rent free. She use to be able to pay the utilities and her gas for the car, but can’t since she gets no child support except the little he pays at the beginning of the month, if he pays. She was seeing a great minister who was helping her, but he charged $80.00 per visit and she has no health insurance. She is now finished with school and is looking for a full time job. Pray that she fines one soon. She can’t even buy her kids the Santa gifts. She is very depressed about that. But my sisters and I will take care of that for her.

Thanks to you all for your prayers.


#8

I’m still trying to find the right balance on the custody issue. I think not having a relationship with their dad would be just as damaging as a lot of his emotional abuse and self-centered agenda. I did just have to take him to court so that my 12 year old could get counseling. He will be going weekly now, and hopefully he will learn the skills for dealing with his dad. Right now he is having a hard time because all his dad does is put me down and complain about me, which makes him not believe in me as a parent and think he doesn’t have to listen to or respect me. Things are already getting a little bit better. I have now had two counselors look at my husband’s emails to me and tell me that he has a personailty disorder. They are pretty strange and hostile.

As for your sister getting some counseling… Is there a support group in your area for domestic violence? That at least would be free and would probably give her some much needed perspective. I know one reason why I can’t talk to my husband on the phone is that he just knows how to get to me and make me feel bad about myself. The more distance I can put between him and me, the stronger I get. I’ll bet it is the same for your sister. I know all of these court battles must be exhausting. It must be especially hard to already be divorced, have him be remarried, and for there still to be no end in sight. She really needs some hope.


#9

Dulcissima, I am so sorry to hear that you too suffer at the hands of a man, a husband. I feel so bad for your situation too and I will keep you in my prayers and your son. I will say this. My husband’s parents got a divorce when he was 14 years old and his mother would say horrible things to him about his dad, but his dad would never mention his mom. He recents his mother and has anger towards her that he only is starting to resolve. His other two brothers don’t call their mother for she continues, 20 years after the divorce, talks negatively about their dads and they hate it. I have met my husbands dad and he would never mention his ex wife unless I asked him a question. He was and is so hurt at the words she does say to her sons. It has backfired on her. My husband said that at first he would believe his mother and hated his dad, but then when he was with his dad he realized that she just hates him and will say anything so that her boys would hate him. Now, they all don’t like her very much.

It is so sad what divorce does to the children. I believe that you were the one who told me about narcissism. I didn’t even think of letting a counselor see the emails. Could you use that in court if you had to? I mean the testimony of the counselors saying that the emails show a person with a personality disorder. Our problem is that we think the new wife is writing them and I know she has something mentally wrong with her. She is so cruel to my sister and very immature for a 36 yr old. During the Christmas show, my ex BIL tried to be nice to all of my other sisters and me. My other sisters even hugged him. Anyway, after talking to us all, we all said goodbye and walked away. This new wife turned around and in a sarcastic tone said, “Goodbye Norma!” Norma just said goodbye back and not let her see that her attempt to bother her worked. This is the third time she does something like this. She is just weird!

My sister just read the letter from her attorney from her ex’s attorney. After a court date, the lawyers have to write up an order of what the judge said. Norma’s attorney wrote what the judge said and his attorneys are saying that it is not what the judge said and that he said the dad could make up the 21 days, now 19 for some reason, that were lost in the summer. Are they crazy or what? There was five witnesses in the court room and we all heard the same thing, and they heard something else, including his attorney. This is all crazy. They are also saying that the judge never said the kids need counseling. I wonder why then did he judge order the dad to give my sister the names of three counselors for her to choose from. This is all too crazy.

What about your son? If your husband abused you emotionally and verbally, does he do the same to your son? Could you not try to get sole custody if he does indeed have a mental disorder? Of course, he would have to be diagnosed with it and I heard psychological evaluations for this purpose are very expensive. I believe $3000.00.

My sister’s ex was the one who left home and had an affair and he is the one getting all he wants. Like you said, his behavior will all come back to bite him some day. For now, my sister is trying to do the best she can with her kids, but influences from the other household is affecting her daughter. Norma called me late last night crying because she can’t deal with her daughter in all the disrespect and back talk she is doing. She has a lot of anger, Marissa that is, but still that is no excuse to disrespect her mother. She sees and hears the teens at her dad’s disrespect their mom and she does the same at her mother’s. She is also wanting to dress immodestly and she said her dad allows it, but my sister will not. How can you teach a child her age values when the values of the other parent are opposite yours? Norma doesn’t even want to think of when Marissa will be dating. Her rule is not until 18 yr. old, but her dad is not until 12 yr old. :frowning: All Norma can do is try to teach her morals and values, but she will go with the parent’s rule she likes the best.


#10

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