Click on above link. Open a text search window with Ctrl F. Type Vain Reliance on Human Help in the search window.
ATeutonicKnight is right. You have not lost your soul nor your purity and their is nothing SO bad that God won’t forgive. He is the Merciful God, who’s mercy and forgiveness is INFINITE. A good blog devoted to the divine mercy that I love really show this, and has helped me greatly. You should check it out. littlestsouls.wordpress.com/
Also, you really need to get help from a doctor and counselor for help with your depression. You are not the only one who is hurting. I have depression too,( from being bullied and sexually harassed for liking a guy by my classmates in elementary school, for losing my best friend in high school), but it is now under some control through medication and I have had some therapy.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. Know that you are in my prayers.
It wouldn’t hurt to contact your friend/lover again but you are right in staying just as friends until you are better and he has to accept that.
I hope this helps you. Your in my prayers.
My story is very similar to yours, only I married the man. I sought spiritual counseling n psychological also. It was difficult at first but with help I got through it. Had 2 beautiful children, only to have it end in divorce after 28 yrs. I fell completely free from all my abuse problems n have for over 20 yrs. I didn’t know he was bipolar n had major issues. One day he accused me of having an affair because I could not have lunch with him n filed for divorce. So if your not head over heels n having hold back feelings then maybe Holy Spirit is trying to tell you to seek wise counsel. Not just you if you feel after some counsel then he will need counsel also to know what to expect.and how to help.
Sure, contact him but leave the rest up to God. Remember, it’s not anything we can do that brings people together— it’s God’s Grace. So if God decides it’s ok for you two to re-connect, then so be it. Who are we to judge?