Need advice from seminarians

Needed a seminarian’s perspective.

didnt get it here

going away

adios amigos

if you had a female friend who felt this way about you what advice would you give her?

Forgive me if this sounds combative, but why are you asking complete strangers to give you the advice that you imagine you would ask of the man you are attracted to?

Life is messy; live with it and do the best you can.

guessng by ur response youre not in religious life

Have you ever read Come Rack, Come Rope? I’m not a seminarian - there may not be any on this site. Explain to him it’s best if you don’t see each other.

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Oh my, what a blast form the past. Had to read it in 1962, seriously, and probably hadn’t thought of it since. (Apologies for the deflecting)

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I would say that it depends how far down the path he is in seminary. Here, part of the early seminary phase is still discernment and confirming one’s vocation. The young men are encouraged to explore what they feel their heart is considering. So, were he in that phase, he may even be told he should go out on a date to “test the waters” so he isn’t entering his priesthood with doubts and regrets.

On the other hand, if he’s nearing the end of his seminary time, it’s highly likely he’s already sorted all of this out, and there wouldn’t be a point to discussing anything with him (nor would most consider it appropriate).

What happened too the OP. I don’t even know the question.

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I’ve heard of seminarians in some places having girlfriends, at least clandestinely, but no seminary worth its salt would ever give this advice. While it’s true that seminarians are, up until ordination effectively, still confirming their vocation it doesn’t really say much for their future commitment to celibacy if they’re dating. Testing a vocation doesn’t mean exploring other options - they’re expected to have done that before entering the seminary. Rather, it means following a path towards a specific vocation in order to determine whether or not it’s the one they’re being called to. That’s something which applies essentially from day 1. Sometimes there can be flexibility depending on whether a person is in fact following a formal program of formation but this is not really being in a seminary.

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My apologies Father. Perhaps I’ve confused some period where the young men are living and learning at the seminary but aren’t truly seminarians yet. I do know this discernment process occurs in a local seminary, but I may have been mistaken and misunderstood their proper “title” as seminarians. I have no doubt or cause for concern with the quality of the seminary itself.

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