Not a very original title, I admit. And I’m profoundly sorry if this isn’t the ideal subforum to post this.
I thought long and hard before posting here. The trials and difficulties some brothers and sisters are enduring here shrink my spirit. But the thing is, I really, *really *need your prayers and kind words.
See, I’ve been in a relationship for 2 and a half years. Let’s call her Celia. She is extremely beautiful (german model, child of two other german models). She is funny, sweet, tender, good cook, smart, cultured, loyal and honest to death. The perfect match (other than her being kinda New Age and not really caring for catholic morals).
She also has uncontrollable rage issues. This is a killer. She has a different logic than mine about many things, and when we disagree she starts accusing me of being selfish or authoritative or not caring, then the red tide takes her over. Then she starts sputtering she has been wasting her time with me, that I’m cruel and evil, and even that I’m worthless and mediocre.
After the tide passes she profusely apologizes, tears and all. Like trying to pick the pieces of a shattered plate.
I’m *completely *tired of this cycle. I still care deeply for her. I know she loves me, I can easily tell. And that she doesn’t like her fits of rage. But I’m nearly jaded from all the abuse.
Friend A says I should leave her since I’ll end up resenting her and I can’t change her.
Friend B says love can triumph over everything and I should still gamble on this relationship. She has been in one for ten years.
I’ve had *amazing *experiences with Celia. She has taught me to be a better person and we’ve traveled quite a lot. We lived together for a year (I know, I know) before the economy ended that. But we’ve been going downhill for a year now. I don’t see it improving.
I think we just love each other but can’t give each other our deserved happiness.