Need advice on Mormon Missionary's

Hi I’ve been recently visited by 2 mormon missionary’s and invited to their church. The people are friendly, very earnest in their beliefs. My dilemma is that i like these people and their friendship but the more i learn about this religion the more farfetched it seems. I feel i don’t have the right to “put down” someone else’s beliefs. The missionarys have an answer to all my questions so much so it leaves my head swimming. The forum seems a great place to put forward opinions, but I’m dealing face to face and i don’t know what to say. I’m a little worried of getting in to deep because the community spirit is so enticing. Any ideas people?

There are many good resources to help you to sort out Mormon theology. It is true that the Mormon religion is very family centric and that they take care of their own; however, I think it is very important to read about their tenets, especially the more anti-Catholic undercurrent (the need to restore the ‘original’ church, etc.)

I have known practicing Mormons in the workplace and these people have been exceedingly good people, yet I believe that the faith of the Mormons is essentially flawed and is insufficient.

These are missionaries. They’ll still want to be friends with you even if you express doubt and turn down their offer. As long as you keep talking to them, I’m sure they’ll talk to you.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to become a Mormon. I asked God to lead me to the correct religion, as these missionaries said I should. God gave me my answer: I became a practicing Catholic.

I had some Mormon beliefs in my teen years. But the main thing that leads me to believe their religion is not only divinely revealed, but fraudulent, is the fact that there is no history or archeology backing up their claims.

It’s true that many people doubt Catholic claims, but it’s not because of the absence of evidence. You might doubt that Peter is the first pope, but based on the written evidence, you can construe a believable claim. (And of course I can believe it!).

With Mormonism, there is no evidence. None. It’s all based on blind faith in their Scripture. You have to be Mormon to believe that centuries ago, the Israelites set up a colony in America. You do not have to be Catholic to believe the historicity of the papacity, in the creation of the institutional church, etc etc. It’s pretty much there in the documentation.

Of course they have an answer to everything. They’re trained! They go through a course and anticipate all these objections. Find out what the opposition has to say about those answers!

Another thing about Mormonism: not only does Mormonism adopt ideas that are completely a-historical, but it assumes that the Catholic Church is not the one original Church. It went into apostasy. And that’s based on…? If they made a case that there was a schism between Mormon-like believers in the first century and the Catholic Church, that would be credible, but they don’t.

Thanx I do feel the religion is flawed, I don’t wish to offend them by saying so. I’ve read so much in these forums that have confirmed my own research and feelings. I guess it comes down to wanting to belong after LDS church many people came up to welcome me I’ve been invited to many things and to be honest at the catholic church in 10 years no-one has ever done that. I go to mass alone stop for coffee after and have never been welcomed or approached by anyone. I promise I’m not hideous just shy.


It’s so good of you to want to be around these obviously kind Mormons. Fellowship and harmony is a great thing, and you’ve found some moral souls to feel attached to.

However, in this life, we have to learn holy detachment in a sense. And it’s painful. I know exactly how it is, to love the Church, and to not feel part of it, in your heart. You want to meet kindred spirits, but there seems to be no one in the church who feels the same way.

The Mormons fill a void, and you don’t want to abandon that void. I don’t know how to fill that void any other way. Sometimes the answer is to be detached. I don’t know how your relationship works with these Mormons, but it could be that distancing yourself from them might be the price you have to pay for being a faithful Catholic.

It really sucks. Catholics should be very close to one another. The only way I’ve found to be close to other Catholics is generally the internet. I’ve met some good Catholics in person, but I don’t frequent them often enough to be really good friends, and it’s hard when you’re a SAHM of young kids-- you don’t necessarily go out that often.

I think the way to find other good Catholic souls is to attend Catholic events on a regular basis. For instance, I frequently attend pro-life meetings. I can’t say I have some close friends there, but at least people are friendly and chatty with me.

I hope you find what you need melmac. I wish I had better advice.

Distancing myself from them was what i was trying to avoid. I think that it will be inevitable because ultimately i won’t be converted and that might not sit well with them. I dont feel the “spirit” in their church the way i do in a catholic mass. The Catholic church certainly have people who are friendly with each other its probley more to do with the fact that I’m not local

Hi Melmac,
I’m a former Mormon who is now Catholic. I am so sorry that others have not welcomed you in your parish. We are definately failing in that area, aren’t we?
I welcome you to the body of believers here on this forum. You are welcome here!! Please don’t think that good fellowship is the bar for which truth is judged. Mormons are really good at that, but their theology is flawed. Our theology isn’t, yet we, as humans, fail to welcome and be welcomed by those whose beliefs are our own. Please accept this apology for all Catholics who have failed to make you feel welcome. Jesus would want us to be who you need us to be.

in Christ

It does seem that in some Catholic churches. if you are a single woman over age 30, there’s no outreach to you. If you are a man, the Knights of Columbus seems to foster friendships. There are lots of activities for families, teens, and couples but not singles. You could try another, friendlier, Catholic parish or join a prayer group where you could get to know others. Or you could become more active in your parish so you could meet people. I’ve been part of our RCIA teams for over 10 years, a lector, and participate in several activities. I know a lot of people and talk to them. I’m sure no one knows it but I still sometimes feel that sense of isolation and I’ve been here for 35 years. People are just involved in their own lives.

That said, I would never leave the Catholic church because I would be leaving Our Lord in the Eucharist. I couldn’t get through life without Him.

The LDS church has a lot of great people in it, but it isn’t true. They believe God is just one of many other Gods that each have their own planet. They think God the Father had a celestial wife and Jesus is one of his sons with her. You don’t have to argue beliefs with the missionaries. Just tell them you respect them but you don’t share their beliefs.

Don’t leave the Catholic church just to have friends. Try to make friends in the church. Pray that God will put people in your life who will bring you closer to Him. God bless you.

Hello melmac, the missionaries are doing as they are trained to do. They are taught to get commitments from you, and to follow up with you, to ensure that you are following through with your commitments.

Stop committing. I know they are asking you commit to reading their Book of Mormon and attend their church. Just politely tell them that you are no longer interested. If they ask why just tell them you are a faithful Catholic and do not intend to convert to mormonism. You can be polite and not put their beliefs down. But you don’t owe them anything, not even an explanation. It really is none of their business.

I too am sorry that you are not feeling a part of a community in your parish. As a shy person myself, I know how awkward it is to be the one to step forward and initiate a conversation. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t be a part of your Catholic community.

I recommend you talk to a priest. Both about the mormons at your door and your need for being a part of your Catholic community. He will be able to help you. Sometimes all it takes is letting people now what you need.

Hi melmac,
Welcome to CAF! The technique the Mormons are using on you (all that welcoming, warmth and acceptance) is well known to those who study cults. It’s called “love-bombing”. All cults do it to attract you to their group and to keep your attention away from the weirdness of their doctrines. It is especially effective on shy, lonely or vulnerable people. Mormons are experts at spotting those people.

As soon as these people learn that they have no hope of converting you, they will lose interest, the love-bombing will cease and they will move on to the next conquest.

The Mormon term for it is “friendshipping” and it is a missionary technique they are taught. They even have an instruction manual on how to friendship effectively to get converts.

Only in Mormonism is friendship not a noun, but a verb - something you do to someone to get what you want.

Think about it. No matter how nicely someone treats you, it doesn’t change what’s true and false.

God love you,
Paul (a former Mormon now Catholic)

Hi again melmac,

You wouldn’t know it from my posts here, but I am shy too. I found the best way to get to know people is to volunteer for one of the many ministries at the parish. There are lots of things you can do that don’t take much time but bring you into fellowship with lots of wonderful people whose friendship (noun) will be genuine.

You can be a greeter or an usher, or sing in the choir (there’s safety in numbers :slight_smile: ), or drive one afternoon a week to bring food and clothing to poor families or a hundred other things that range from high- to very low-profile.

Talk to your priest. He can probably suggest something that would be right for you.

God love you,

Do you mean the love and concern that the poster is now getting from some posters on this forum? Is this love-bombing? Is this forum a cult too? Are you also not trying to keep the poster away from thoughts about remaining in contact with the missionaries?

I don’t think that mormons are experts in searching out lonely people unless of course the original poster had a sign on him or her saying: I am Lonely, talk to me.

These would be great questions to ask the young men who are missionaries: Are you love bombing me? Are you experts in searching out lonely people? The poster can also ask them the weird things about their doctrine or speak to someone who may know more. Of course, these young men are only 19 to 21 years respectfully.

Why have fear about him or her reading the book of mormon? If the book is so awful, I think that the original poster will discover that fact. To give such advice to someones smacks of cult-like behavior and communal censorship. Why? What is the fear?

The love and concern offered by the missionaries is conditional. It will stop if the OP doesn’t read the BoM or attend Mormon church.

The love and concern from posters on this forum doesn’t tend to depend on the recipient’s religious beliefs.

Of course the OP is free to choose what his/her relationship with the missionaries will be. The knowledgeable posters in this thread are giving the OP a little background on both Mormonism and part of the reason for the missionaries’ friendliness.

Yes; my suggestion is to read the Book of Mormon, and pray to the Lord to reveal the truth of it to you. Once the Spirit reveals the truth of it to you, everything will fall into place, and you won’t need to come here and ask these questions.


Just thinking about this thread and parish life.

To strengthen ourselves against “The Mormon Threat” (if such an invented religion can be considered a threat), we need to strengthen parish life. There are several ways we can do this:

  1. A welcoming committee for new parish members, to help them become fully-functioning members of the parish, and to acquaint them with the culture of the community. Outreach to those who are contributing in a minimal manner to the community-- such as those who only go to Mass.

  2. Adult religious education-- many topics, Bible Study, Church History, Cathechism of the Catholic Church, Social Justice, Comparative Religions, etc. Small groups are important, to help the shy, but wise ones, be more comfortable with their contributions. Scheduling adapted so it is just not the elderly and retired who participate.

  3. Helping people realize that because they sin does not disqualify them from being members of the parish-- that the parish community can help them overcome sin, and that we all have sinful natures.

  4. Special support for those involved in mixed marriages.

  5. Evangelization efforts, including more parish participation in RCIA and CCD. Improvememt of both programs, to help thier graduates resist prostelytization from the more bizarre denominations.

  6. Parish activities (recreational and “work parties”) not directly involved with the above.

To focus just on “The Mormon Threat” is only going to make the problem worse, because of the LDS persecution complex. We need to take a serious look at those shortcomings in ourselves and our communities that have contributed to LDS success, and copy some of their more ethical strategies when necessary.

Melmac, I was once a mormon missionary. I served the full two years and shared the same message the missionaries desire to share with you. I’m now enrolled in RCIA and will soon become a Catholic (this Easter Vigil). I must agree with you that the mormon community is very friendly, tightly knit, and loving, particularly as shown to those who are investgating the church. One of my concerns coming into the Catholic church is that throughout the RCIA process no one has stopped by my home, no one has called or emailed, no one has brought cookies or invited me to a movie. Those are all things that mormons do as they try to bring you into their fold - and they do it very well. But do you know what? I don’t care. The mormon church is not true. The truth about mormonism is determined through careful study of church history and doctrine, and prayer, not solely by reading the Book of Mormon and praying about it (though that’s certainly a part). I was raised in the mormon church, served a mission, and was married in the temple. I never received the witness that Zerinus describes despite my sincerity and faith. I suggest that such feelings-based witnesses could be self-induced. That’s not to say that some aren’t, but the search for a witness must be counter-balanced by the use of the brain God gave you. Study the church’s teachings in their historical context. Investigate whether doctrines have changed and why. Learn all you can about the origin of the Book of Mormon from all available sources, both LDS and non-LDS. In the process, try to trace everything you learn about LDS church history and doctrine back to the original documents on which official LDS publications are based (diaries, journals, and early histories written by faithful mormons in the 19th century; copies of Joseph Smith’s revelations in their original form). Most of these documents are available online for review and are put there by scholars and universities who visited LDS church archives, made scans of key documents and either posted them online or transcribed the copies and posted those. You’ll find if you spend the time to learn all you can that the official story that the missionaries tell you and what actually happened are two completely different things. But you won’t be able to discover that for yourself without putting in some effort. I highly recommend that you do so. Feeling good inside and having friends is wonderful, but it’s no way to get to get at Truth. Learning the things you need to learn as you study mormonism will not help you conclude whether the Catholic Church is true or false. But it will help you determine whether mormonism is true. Please, counterbalance your prayers and reading of the Book of Mormon with careful study of all of the available evidence - the majority of which is available online.

I will soon become a catholic, despite the absense of an overwhelming sense of community - that thing you’re feeling right now as you talk with the missionaries. After six months of attending Mass and RCIA I still don’t have any close catholic friends. It just hasn’t worked out that way. I’m becoming a catholic because I’m convinced it’s true; this is the result of many years of study and prayer. There was no Great Apostasy. Christ did not fail in his mission to establish His Church when he walked the earth. Jesus did not go wrong, requiring Joseph Smith to fix things for Him. Jesus clearly taught during his ministry that the only people who come to Christ are those whom God calls. I have certainly felt this call; I have felt drawn to Christ and the Catholic Church. This is what motivates me, in addition to the results of the years of study and prayer I’ve put into this. I hope you find this helpful.

God bless you on your journey!



She is being lured by the culture, not the truth of the BoM. She already stated that she doesn’t believe what they are telling her and is stuck, not knowing how to get out of where she is at. Too shy to tell the missionaries to buzz off. This is not censorship or cult behavior.

Not to mention, mormonism is false, nothing but lies. Why would I sit and watch someone fall for a religion because of people being “nice”. You should check yourself whyme and wonder why it is that you believe that watching a good Catholic head into a false, manmade, religion is ok.

I must agree with you that the mormon community is very friendly, tightly knit, and loving, particularly as shown to those who are investgating the church…
But they may become emotionally abusive towards those who are in the process of exiting, or those who they have written off as inconvertable.

Jerusha - that’s an excellent addition. Melmac, I did not mention the fact that after years of trying to gain a testimony of the Book of Mormon and never gaining one, my fellow church members began treating me differently. This didn’t happen until I began publicizing the fact that I hadn’t gained a testimony. Everyone I spoke too did the same thing - I was blamed for the problem. I was accused of being insincere, lacking in faith, having some unrepented sin, wanting to sin or not wanting to live up to the standards of the church, of not listening when God was talking. I got this from friends and family members. Needless to say, for a 5th generation mormon from pioneer stock, this was emotionally devastating. I must agree with Jerusha. The friendliness and close community you sense will last only so long as you are investigating or are a community member.


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