Need Advice Please?


#1

I’m not sure what the ‘appropriate’ thing to do is for this situation…

My Aunt and Uncle (protestant) are coming to visit us, and my parents (also protestant) are wanting all of us to go to their church together and then to a potluck at their church afterward.

I’m all for family time, but to put it nicely, their church is fairly anti-Catholic. Ok, rudely anti-Catholic.

I want to spend time with my aunt and uncle, but at the same time don’t want to attend a ‘service’ at my parent’s church.

My mom has (begrudgingly) started reading some Catholic material…to appease us (she’s been plugged full of anti-Catholic views and mis-information all her life).

Do we go in order to be ecumenical and for family?

[font=Book Antiqua]Or should we just plan for some family time after all that activity? :confused: [/font]


#2

If it were me (and it is, every time we go home for a visit)… we’d go to Mass either Sat vigil or early Sunday, then attend the family congregation and meal.

Be kind and smile, show them Christian love - if anything anit-Catholic is said in context of preaching, make note of what was said and maybe later bring it up with your mom.


#3

Good idea about making notes! I hadn’t thought of that…hmmm…at their church…maybe a small tape recorder? :wink:


#4

[quote=kage_ar]Be kind and smile, show them Christian love - if anything anit-Catholic is said in context of preaching, make note of what was said and maybe later bring it up with your mom.
[/quote]

and the minister using the Cathecism of the Catholic Church to prove him wrong about his misunderstanding of the Church.


#5

My question: Do you feel strong enough to go to both the service and the potluck? Can you go to the potluck and not the service?

If you don’t feel strong enough, or you anticipate some sort of attack you don’t think you can handle, don’t go. You do have the right to protect youself and your family.

If you think you can handle it, then go and have a lovely time, being sure to fulfill your Sunday obligation.

But only you know for sure whether or not you can “take” it.:twocents:


#6

As a Catholic you should typically not attend Protestant services. I think exceptions are funerals or weddings or whatever for family members/friends. I think attending the potluck is probably ok, perhaps you can meet them for that event since it is not religious.


#7

[quote=Youngcatholic]As a Catholic you should typically not attend Protestant services.
[/quote]

Why not?


Would the advice extend to not reading any Protestant books, listening to radio shows, or even talking to Protestant friends?


I don’t think there is anything from the Church that tells us not to attend Protestant (or other religious) services. We are just not allowed to participate in anything that goes against our faith (like participating in their communion etc) or doing anything that would cause scandal.


**Personally, I think it is a personal decision. Like someone above said, go if you feel strong enough, but you don’t HAVE to just to try to keep the family peace. **


Malia


#8

I would go to mass on Saturday & most certainly go to the Protestant Church & potluck. (who can pass up a good potluck?!) I don’t think your relatives would understand you missing this fun opportunity to see them & maybe you’ll be able to share a bit of your faith in a nice setting (surrounded by pot luck!)

Good for your Mom - willing to take some Catholic reading material. Sometimes it takes baby steps… :slight_smile:


#9

[quote=Feanaro’s Wife]Why not?

Would the advice extend to not reading any Protestant books, listening to radio shows, or even talking to Protestant friends?

I don’t think there is anything from the Church that tells us not to attend Protestant (or other religious) services. We are just not allowed to participate in anything that goes against our faith (like participating in their communion etc) or doing anything that would cause scandal.

**Personally, I think it is a personal decision. Like someone above said, go if you feel strong enough, but you don’t HAVE to just to try to keep the family peace. **

Malia
[/quote]

Though it may be a confidence factor to some in whether they should attend Protestant services, it really should not be taken lightly. True, it should not interfere with the Sunday obligation. True, you should not participate in anything that goes against Church teaching, such as communion. I don’t believe it should be a “personal” decision… unless it was a personal decision that came with supportive input from a priest. Otherwise, one has blatantly disregarded feedback from a proper authority on the matter.
Feanaro’s Wife, I believe you are correct in saying that the Church hasn’t come-out with any official dogmas or doctrines against attending non-Catholic services.
On the other hand, I don’t see why Kathryn_0404 could not let the deciding factor be what her parish priest advises her to do. She’s received plenty of input from us, but I would bring it to someone who is more directly watching over her best interest and may know her better. If she is not a member of any parish, and/or she has not built a relationship with any priest, I would agree with Youngcatholic by not attending the church service to stay on the safe side. Go ahead and attend the potluck- I would simply suggest bringing a dish so as to not upset the reformed. May be a cake with frosted-writing: “What have you done to observe Lent this year?” (ha ha)


#10

Kathryn,
I feel your pain. I too am the only Catholic. My (anti-Catholic because they don’t allow female priest) sister is always trying to get me to go to her Church. I did go once and had an enjoyable time, that was (of course) after I went to Mass on Saturday night. Her pastor was nice and I liked his lesson.

The point being, my sister and I, when it comes to religion, agree to disagree; and not to talk religious demoninations but rather about how the Lord is working in our lives.

MY SUGGESTION: Go to Saturday night Mass then go to church with your family and enjoy the day.


#11

Kathryn,
I feel your pain. I too am the only Catholic. My (anti-Catholic because they don’t allow female priest) sister is always trying to get me to go to her Church. I did go once and had an enjoyable time, that was (of course) after I went to Mass on Saturday night. Her pastor was nice and I liked his lesson.

The point being, my sister and I, when it comes to religion, agree to disagree; and not to talk religious demoninations but rather about how the Lord is working in our lives.

MY SUGGESTION: Go to Saturday night Mass then go to church with your family and enjoy the day.

If they attack you, don’t fight back and don’t hide either. A simple “Thank you for pointing that out.” should do.


#12

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=21249&highlight=protestant+services

Perhaps this post from one of the apologists would help. Generally it is recommended that Catholics not attend Protestant services, unless it is for a grave matter or a matter of civic duty, like cases such as wedding or funerals. Also, if we are obliged to attend such services, we are not to partake in Protestant communion.


#13

Thanks everyone for the advice! :slight_smile:

Sounds like it’s best to only go to protestant churches if absolutely necessary…like the wedding or funeral example.

Well, we decided not to go…especially with their missions & meal afterward…would’ve ended up being about four hours! And would’ve had to contribute to their mission (because of the meal donation) and that really didn’t seem right.

So, my hubby and I went to morning mass while they went to their service and they skipped the missions potluck afterward.

It worked out… I really hate being stuck in positions like that.
Thanks again!! :smiley:


#14

Whew! Thank goodness it worked out Kathryn_0404. Generally I liked all the advice given. And I agree with carol_marie good on your mom for reading our stuff. Perhaps someday you can get her into some stuff with a little more meat on it. And Amazing Mace, you’re wicked… I like it. heh heh :smiley:

But a little time ago I went church hopping around town. To see how – what I now know is – our seperated brethren celebrate the Lord. Anglican I found to be so stark, and this other church felt more like a rally for God than an actual service.

In all an eye opener for me, and of course I went to Mass first, and didn’t partake in anything un-Catholic. But really the only other time I felt G-d in a house of worship was in a synagouge, and all the while I was under my kipa and prayer shawl was I asking Jesus in my mind for forgiveness by not signing the cross to G-d, but the Father, Son & Spirit were there even if the others didn’t know him as that.

In all it worked out, and it should’ve. Anything approached with Love and Patience is bound to work out with a little help from God.

And the whole experience made me feel all the more Catholic.

emp


#15

I didn’t read all the posts but my take on this is go to Saturday Mass. Be with your family Sunday at thier church and if you feel the need to correct anyone who is bashing Catholics, since you mentioned that it was very anti-Catholic, kndly remind them that we are all Christians and Love Jesus Christ and if they bash Catholics then they are going against the one commandment he gave us. Go and Love as I have Loved you.
Bashing isn’t Love! (nothing wrong with a healthy debate though)

And then you can give them a big hug and tell them not to worry because “Jesus still Loves you”.


#16

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