Before I ask my question, let me say that I am new here and a little afraid to post my question. When I've tried to ask others for advice or help, they just tell me how awful my husband is and that I should leave him, he's abusive, etc. I would like to ask, if possible, that you please try to be kind because I just feel so alone and need guidance.
I am a practicing Catholic. My husband, though raised Catholic does not practice his faith and only attends Church on Christmas, Easter, our sons baptisms and First Communion. He never mocks my faith in front of our kids, but sometimes teases me in private about believing in Heaven and Hell.
Five years ago, while I was pregnant with our second child, my husband fell in Love with a younger co-worker. He was honest with me about their relationship from the start and never hid it from me. He confirmed my suspicions they were in love when our son was 2 weeks old. I fell into a deep depression and felt like I didn't want to live. My two sons were all that kept me going. My husband ended up having a two year affair with this woman while I did nothing. I had no where to go and no job to support me and my sons and honestly, I still loved him and didn't want to leave. And he didn't want to leave either. He confessed to me, he wanted two wives. When the other woman learned he wpouldnt leave me, she dumped him and he was devastated.
He became suicidal and wanted me to pick up the pieces.. I tried to mend him and hold our family together while trying to launch a career as a writer of my own. He often blamed me.
I tried talking to my priest about it all and he told me that my husband was being selfish and to give him the ultimatum of marriage counseling or divorce. I asked my husband to go to counseling, but he refused.
I couldn't imagine a divorce, though. As miserable as I was, I believe in the sanctity of marriage and don't want to give up. My husband used to be a loving, kind, devoted, somewhat faithful (to God and me) man.
So, about a year ago, my husband met another woman and began another emotional affair. He seemed happy again. Of course, I was glad not to see him miserable and once again being a part of our family ,I've, but was also heartbroken that I don't make him happy. I do try. But he thinks he needs constant devotion from more than one woman to be happy. He says I focus too much on our kids, but honestly I feel like he takes too much of my time and energy away from our beautiful boys. I'm always trying to figure out how to keep him happy. Praying for him. Feeling like I'm dying inside from not being good enough, to stay focused on the needs of my kids.
This new woman just told my husband she can't conti ue their relationship and he is falling apart and expects me to mend him. I don't know how. I know he needs God, but he won't hear me and pushes me away when I try to talk about faith. He gets so angry at me.
Please. I don't know what to do and have no one to turn to.
I prayed the Memorare every day, asking the Blessed Mother to pray for the end of his first affair, not knowing what it would do to my husband.
Does anyone have advice, words of hope, or ideas on how to be a loving wife in this unusual situation?