Need Advice.....Should I Move out of state?


#1

My brain is going to explode :confused:

I am married with three young kids and currently live in a two bedroom townhouse in Southern California. As you can imagine we are pretty crowded but buying a house out here is out of the question because I simply can’t afford it due to the price of homes in the area and only one income.

My company has offered me an opportunity to relocate to Boise, Idaho where the housing is MUCH cheaper and would actually be able to get into a four bedroom home.

Here is my biggest issue and my question to everybody ;

Am I being too materialistic in wanting a bigger home for my family when we already have a roof over our head???

I’m also torn because both of our families live here and we would be taking our kids away from that.

I want to follow what God wants for us but am having a hard time figuring it out. Should I just be happy with what I have?

Any advice would be great
God Bless
Javier


#2

I don’t think you are materialistic. Every family deserves to have a good home to stay. I know it is tough to move away from your loved ones. I don’t have a family yet, but I am trying to say as best as I could.

You could ask yourself some of these:

  • when you move to the new place, is it going to help you and your family grow spiritually? that would’ve been my first question if I ever have to move]

  • how about school and church for kids?

  • how about the weather - it is going to be wayyy colder than where you live? how your three kids and wife will cope with the weather?

  • is your company’s new location a big one? Sometimes you move to another place, and this new place can get shut down or they are not as good as your current one.

  • will you be able to take your kids to visit their grandparents at least one a year? :slight_smile:

Pray for this.
God bless.


#3

You should discuss this with your spouse and the two of you should decide together. However, it (IMHO) is not a bad thing to provide better for your family. Since the cost of living is “MUCH” less, you might be better able to move, get the house you desire AND still have enough cash to take several trips back to CA. to visit family. But as I said, this is a decision which you should decide with your spouse. God bless.

PS - Did I mention that I loved potatoes?! Sorry… bad joke.


#4

Moving out of state is NOT the end of the world. Heck, my husband and I had 5 cross-country moves the first 5 years we were married and we’re still around to tell the tale :smiley:

I don’t think there’s anything wrong about relocating because of better economic opportunities and better living conditions for your family. Idaho isn’t all the way across the country from California and I’m sure you all can manage visits from time to time. Plus there’s telephones, email, instant messaging, WRITING LETTERS (what a concept now days! and it might be good for you children to learn how to do it)–my point is, where there’s a will, there’s a way.

It’ll be good, too, for your children to learn how too make new friends and live in a different environment.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.


#5

What does your spouse think? That is what really matters.
Sometimes God presents promotions etc. to us as blessings. God also wants us happy and He does provide for us - sometimes with abundance.

Pray over your decision.


#6

I live in Boise and it is awesome. What a place to raise my family!! If you do move here, please pvt msg me and I can help you find a realtor or a Church or a good location in town. Moving is hard, I know Ive done it. But it is something that you must PRAY about and talk about it with your family, including extended family if you are close to them, though thier opinions do not wiegh as much as your spouse or God’s.


#7

There you go. I am sure this is a great help for having someone here living in the area. I am glad you read this post, Potato.

ah! tienjen mentioned about loving potatoes and your nick is also Potato :smiley: Are potatoes coming from Boise? :wink:


#8

My first reaction is, YES!!! MOVE!!!

Now I will qualify that with the following:

You definitely need to have the agreement of your spouse for this. But if you can’t get it then you likely have bigger problems that the size of your home and probably need to concentrate on solving them before you go anywhere.

I’ve lived my whole life in southern California and the thought of living anywhere else scare the daylights out of me. But if I had to move, Boise would be one of the places I’d consider. It has a growing technical job market. There are many nearby areas for outdoor recreation. There may be more ‘weather’ than you are used to, but it is not so extreme as in some other parts of the country. You’ll probably meet quite a few former southern Californians.

Yes, you will miss having the extended family around. I grew up away from extended family, as did the majority of my friends. My own children have at least one set of grandparents nearby and have aunts and uncles from both sides. There are pluses and minuses to to both living situations. You will find that you have to forge your own family traditions when you are not as close. In any case, it will be easier for your children to make the change when they are younger.

I wouldn’t buy anything for the first six months to a year after you move. That will give you the chance to make sure you really want to be there. It will also give you the chance to find the best places to live. But if you decide to stay, I suggest you buy a big house because you’ll probably have lots of family visiting.


#9

Housing is less,
cost of living is less,
does that also mean a reduction in pay?

Otherwise, like the others said, talk it over with spouse.
Pray on it.

I was born in LA, raised in the mountains, then spent 4 years in San Diego (Navy). I have a brother living there that I won’t go visit. Not because I dont want to see him, I just wont go anywhere near that entire area.

The move to a less crime area sounds good to me.


#10

We have made several job-related moves that have taken us closer and then farther from family.

I have to say while my husband and I were in total agreement about the decision to move, it is a challenge to be out on your own. You do miss the impact and involvement of family. However, good friends become vital and actually quite a delightful gift where time with family is limited by distance.

Your primary responsibility is providing for the security and well-being of your family. This touches on both financial and personal responsibilities. It sounds like this new job opportunity might help you in that task. In an area like so’ Cal., with an extremely high cost of living, there all sorts of costs to your family besides expensive, cramped living quarters. There is the time you spend communting, the high cost of health care, recreation, crowded schools, crime, pollution, etc. Moving to a more moderately populated and priced community will likely give you and enhanced quality of life and reduce the stess you endure now quite measurably. This gives you more time and energy to spend with your wife and kids along with a better attitude, more patience with which to participate in your kids’ activities, studies, and events.


#11

Unless my dad wants to help pay for a house one day, I might have to seriously consider living in a different state when I am finished with all my school and ready to start working. Then again, all the good jobs are in California so I might stay and I can’t think of a better state to be in then California since it has everything. But I don’t think there would be anything wrong with you moving. If you have the job and like the area then go for it. California is way expensive. You could always move back.


#12

Thank you all for your positive responses.

Potato1, I appreciate your hospitality and will definitely IM you if we decide on moving.

My wife and I have discussed this and she is in the same boat as I am thinking that this will be a good move for our family but scared to death to actually do it.

Keep the advice coming as I need all I can get.

God Bless
Javier


#13

Javier -

My husband and I had the same tough decision to make two years ago. There were pros to moving: the shorter commute, the larger home, the slower paced lifestyle, the cost-of-living, being able the stay home with our son, a great job for my husband. The only drawbacks were moving away from our families and the colder weather.

It has actually been good to be away from our familes for two big reasons: Every parenting decision is Solely Ours and When we do spend time together, it is quality time.

We have stayed close with our familes even though it is a little more work. We have a blog that we update with stories and photos and vidoes for our familes. We download videos to You Tube. We share digital photos over email. We all have the same cell phone service so our calls to each other are free.

My advice: Go For It! GIve it a year - if you all hate it you can move back - but this opprotunity may not present itself again.

Plus I have heard Nothing but great things about Boise. It seems like the Perfect place to raise a family.

Good Luck!


#14

My husband and I left California for similar reasons. We don’t have kids yet, but we knew we couldn’t provide the kind of life for them that we wanted to if we stayed there, especially since we’d like to have a large family. It did mean being further away from some of our family, but it also means that if any of our family find they need to move out of state, at least there is one place where they know someone! :slight_smile:

We also felt that the general culture in California would make it difficult to raise devoutly Catholic children. So far, we find that the generally more conservative attitudes here in Texas, including a more pro-life attitude, and greater acceptance of people who take their faith seriously, are more in line with what we want to raise children around.

I don’t know anything about Boisie, but other posters here can clearly help you with that. :slight_smile: I do know one person who moved to Idaho when she retired, and she is pretty happy with her choice.

If you and your wife are both in agreement about it, make the move. See if the company that made you the offer is willing to pay some of your relocation expenses.


#15

Moving is a scary thing. My husband moved 3,000 miles, from England to Michigan, to be with me. He gave up everything he has ever known - job, home, family, friends, Church. I’m sure he was scared to death, but he tells me it was all worth it.

All here have given you wonderful advice. As for being scared, something thing to remember is that you will have a home, you will have a job, and you will have your family. Many in this world have far less and are still quite happy and unafraid.

I say go for it! It sounds like a wonderful adventure for your family!

Oh - btw - my cousin moved from California to Arizona for the same economic reasons, and he hasn’t looked back.

~Liza


#16

Boise Rocks!


#17

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