Need advice-Struggling to get son baptized


I want to baptize my son so much and he wants to more than anything, unfortunately I am having trouble trying to find a Godparent. To add to my problems he is about to turn five years old and if he doesn’t get baptized he’ll end up in child rcia and it will be even more difficult.
I know I started the process late because I recently came back to the Church for other reasons. About five months ago I asked my sis who said she would but we are about to hit the deadline and she hasnt taken the class to get permission. I am so afraid my son will not be able to be baptized I cry when I think of it.
To make things more difficult I live in a town about an hour away and do not know anyone here. If I do find a Godparent I have no gift to offer them as I lost my job and am dead broke.
I am honestly trying me best and dont know if maybe I should just ask our parish deacon to do it. Im so embarrassed because I have nothing to offer.
Please offer any suggestion advice or prayer for our family?


Ask your pastor (or someone at the parish) if they can help you find a Godparent.


What should I tell the godparent when I have no present or gift for them.


I have never heard of giving a Godparent a gift. Usually, they bring a gift for the baby. Perhaps you can give them a photograph of your son and a nice card?


I could be wrong but I have heard of cases where there is a godparent who cannot be present at the baptism because of distance. In that case, the pastor might agree to have a proxy godparent stand in for the actual godparent. The actual godparent must still qualify as a practicing Catholic and have an authorization from his pastor.


It’s not the end of the world if your child attended Children’s RCIA. It’s good to know your faith! Presumably you pastor will expect him to be enrolled in Sunday School anyway.
At any rate, there are always devout parishioners who would love to sponsor a child. Your child’s Sunday school teacher maybe? It’s not just a matter of being “dunked”.
If you are unable to get to the church for classes, your DRE can help you with books to be studied at home, and the two of you can really have a beautiful experience reading through the books together and you can share your faith with him in a special way.
In any event, PLEASE do not despair. Talk to the priest. This is not an insurmountable situation, and that’s the DRE’s job…to help people.
I was approached just today before Mass by a woman in RCIA who is the caretaker for an adult autistic person. She wants to know how he can be Baptized. I’ll work out a special one on one instruction for him. It’s what we do.
Don’t worry about gifts. It’s an honor to sponsor someone.
If you truly desire Baptism for your child, the joy on your faces will be enough foranyone, including the sponsor, the priest, the teacher, and the community.
Let us know how it works out! We’ll be praying for you both!


Its likely once you mentioned this to your pastor,he will be able to help.i wouldnt be surprised that there will be willing godparents to your dear child.if i was in your parish and know your situation,ill raise my hands way up ,just to be one.pls dont despair and pray harder!


May I ask why you don’t want your child in religious education? (Note-RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, so there really isn’t such a thing as “child RCIA.” :))

From the way your post is written, I’m guessing that your son has some kind of problem that would make it difficult for him to sit in a classroom-type setting. Is that what you’re worried about? Or is it money–you don’t have the money to pay for religious education?

I think that the parish would help you and your son with any of these issues.


That’s a pet peeve of mine.

RCIA properly refers only to the rituals that take place and not to the instruction required before being baptized or received into full communion. Adult in this case refers to those who have reached the age of reason (around 7).

While the instruction is adapted for children (canonical adults), the rites themselves are not.


60 years ago (almost) my Uncle and Aunt didn’t travel across the country so we had proxies (Or so I am told)

But I also agree with asking the pastor. You do not need to give a gift to the godparents. I was never given one. I am sure there are people who would be proud and happy to stand there and then pray for your child


Instruction for children who are not Baptized is called RCIC.
Rite of Christian Initiation for Children.
That’s what it’s called in this Archdiocese, anyway.
And we offer it in 2 languages in my parish.
It’s a 1-2 year process depending on the child.
We had 5 children enter the church at Easter.
It’s a wonderful program.

Some priests refer to it as OCIC…O standing for Order.

Not sure which terms are the latest and greatest, :rolleyes:, but we offer it. It’s good.


While that may be true, every parish I’ve ever seen has referred to the classes as RCIA or RCIC. That’s just what they call them. Nobody wants to call them anything else, apparently.


The Church does not have any such thing as RCIC though people erroneously refer to it as such. The Rite is RCIA adapted for children. As Phemie said, the Church has two categories of people when it comes to baptism, infants and adults. While we don’t normally think of a six year old as an infant, that’s how the Church regards him. Similarly, we don’t think of an eight year old as an adult, but that’s what he is in the Church’s eyes when it comes to baptism.

The OP needs to talk with her pastor. Godparents for her child are one thing he can help with. Continuing formation for her child is another important thing.


I have also never heard of a godparent gift, although any gift is a nice gesture. I’ve been a godparent several times and had 5 babies baptized, and the thought of a godparent gift has never crossed my mind. Maybe it is common in some regions? I did once delay a baptism for a few months because I didn’t have money and energy to host a proper party after the baptism. I regret that decision to this day. Please don’t let temporal matters keep you from giving your son the gift of baptism!


RCIA is the proper acronym. RCIC does not exist. Additionally RCIA is not an instruction but liturgical rites to recieve the unbaptized adults ( 7 and up) into the church.


For the 2nd time…this is what parishes CALL it for lack of a better term.
Look at webpages. All the parishes AROUND here, which is what I said, CALL it thusly.
We know what the Rites are.


Thank you everyone for your responses. I will talk to the church office today although I am afraid and have lots of anxiety as it is a struggle. I am afraid to put him through rcia for children because then id need a sponser to attend EVERY single class for a year I think… which will be harder being that I can hardly find someone willing to attend one class and a baptism. Thank you for the encouragement. It is hard for me right now as I believe im going through alot of anxiety and perhaps depression. I pray for the courage to do this. Remembering that it is for my son.


My brother was received into the Church on the same night as a lady who had asked me to be her godmother (different parishes). I attended my brother’s confirmation, and she had a proxy. She scrambled to find me as the leadership decided just a short while before Easter that they would not accept her baptism, nor would they let her RCIA confirmation sponsor be her godparent.


I wonder why on earth they wouldn’t accept her sponsor? There is nothing in the rite that forbids it. In fact, the Confirmation sponsor has to meet the same criteria as the baptismal sponsor.


UPDATE: I weren’t to the parish office as i said i would and it was a miracle. The lady who worked there offered to baptize him herself. I was also overcome with emotion and so greatful I cried as soon as she offered. I was so embarrassed for crying I had to leave. She asked me if he needed a suit and I told her he didn’t need all that just wanted him to be baptized. The Lord heard our prayers… praise him! Still doesn’t seem real right now. I need to call and ask if its this Sunday or next as I left overcome with emotion. My son was so happy he said he can hardly believe it. God Bless everyone/anyone who offers to be a sponsor for a sacrament thou have no idea how appreciated you are. If you said a prayer… thank you and may God Bless you!

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